Bad confession?

[Veronica97]

I went to confession today. I had a list, but on the way to the church I thought of something else. Since it wasn’t on my list I kind of added it while I was in the confessional but chose to combine more than one incident/person in a general way, and I said this: “Several times this month, people made critical remarks about others, but I failed to discourage them and may have even inadvertently encouraged them.” Then I went on with my list. At the end of the list I thought maybe I should go back and explain more because one of the people that someone had talked badly about was a priest. But then I thought, “No, I don’t think I need to specify–it’s probably enough.” But as soon as I got out the parking lot, I started worrying that maybe I should have clarified. See, I am the leader of a ladies’ group at church and one of the other ladies repeated something the priest had said that painted him in a bad light, and she repeated what another woman from the parish had said about Jesus that also made her look bad. I think I said, “He said that?” or something like that, but I didn’t think I had mortally sinned because I wasn’t the one making the remarks and I wasn’t happy about what she said. At the time, I judged it to be a venial sin on my part and let it go. So technically, I didn’t really need to confess it, but since I decided to confess it, I feel like I confessed it inadequately. And now the more I think about it, the worse the sin seems in my mind. I know at the next meeting I need to do something differently order to keep things flowing in a positive direction, but meanwhile, does it sound like I made a bad confession?

 

[Zooman77]

Veronica97:

I said this: “Several times this month, people made critical remarks about others, but I failed to discourage them and may have even inadvertently encouraged them.”

If you inadvertently encouraged someone, then yes you might have encouraged them but you didn’t encourage them on purpose. So I don’t think you have to worry that you could have encouraged someone inadvertently. Doing something without “Full knowledge and complete consent.” means it’s at least not a mortal sin.

Veronica97:

Then I went on with my list. At the end of the list I thought maybe I should go back and explain more because one of the people that someone had talked badly about was a priest. But then I thought, “No, I don’t think I need to specify–it’s probably enough.” But as soon as I got out the parking lot, I started worrying that maybe I should have clarified.

Veronica97:

At the time, I judged it to be a venial sin on my part and let it go. So technically, I didn’t really need to confess it, but since I decided to confess it, I feel like I confessed it inadequately.

I think if you can’t decide if something was a mortal sin or you are back and forth on whether it is mortal or venial it’s probably venial because it should be clear if you committed it with full knowledge and consent, but I would confess regardless to be safe.

Veronica97:

See, I am the leader of a ladies’ group at church and one of the other ladies repeated something the priest had said that painted him in a bad light, and she repeated what another woman from the parish had said about Jesus that also made her look bad. I think I said, “He said that?” or something like that, but I didn’t think I had mortally sinned because I wasn’t the one making the remarks and I wasn’t happy about what she said.

I am not totally clear what happened but I have a general understanding and it doesn’t sound like you did anything on purpose but since you feel so bad and guilty confess this fully at your next confession, but I am sure you are already forgiven.

Veronica97:

I know at the next meeting I need to do something differently order to keep things flowing in a positive direction

Good idea!

Veronica97:

does it sound like I made a bad confession?

Again your fine, trust in the Lord but next time you go to confession re confess if you feel you need to. If you are asking if this was sacrilege by not fully disclosing all sins, it is not. I think you were specific enough! God Bless!

 

[ellzeena]

No.

I go to confession weekly. Sometimes I don’t have anything at all to say although I know perfectly well I must have felt/said/done SOMETHING to SOMEONE. But the bottom line is: if I had really “sinned” it would have been with a moment to consider the act, to acknowledge it was sinful, and do it anyway because it was important to ME at the time. How many of us can really say we live this way? (Well, gee, many, but I don’t live that way.)

The Lord knows you better than you know yourself. If you attempt a good confession and leave something out that you “remember” later and that makes you FEEL as if you have not been absolved, to me that is of Satan.

KNOWING you deliberately committed an act, in a fully rational state (with no emotional dysfunction making a contribution, no mental illness, etc.), combined with absolute knowledge of all the SINS apparently available to be committed (some of which I’ve never even heard of until I started reading this forum), and then DELIBERATELY withholding that in confession…to me, makes for an improper and incomplete confession. But that’s just me. It does, however, make common sense and my confessor seems to agree with me.

 

[JuantheTuba]

No, I don’t think it was a bad confession, as long as you examined and judged what you confessed to the best of your ability and did not deliberately hide anything from the priest, all your sins were forgiven and absolved. If you don’t already do this, maybe at the end of your confession add something along the lines of “…for these and any other sins that I may have forgotten, I am heartily(truly) sorry.”

 

[Veronica97]

If you inadvertently encouraged someone, then yes you might have encouraged them but you didn’t encourage them on purpose. So I don’t think you have to worry that you could have encouraged someone inadvertently. Doing something without “Full knowledge and complete consent.” means it’s at least not a mortal sin.I think if you can’t decide if something was a mortal sin or you are back and forth on whether it is mortal or venial it’s probably venial because it should be clear if you committed it with full knowledge and consent, but I would confess regardless to be safe. I am not totally clear what happened but I have a general understanding and it doesn’t sound like you did anything on purpose but since you feel so bad and guilty confess this fully at your next confession, but I am sure you are already forgiven.Good idea!Again your fine, trust in the Lord but next time you go to confession re confess if you feel you need to. If you are asking if this was sacrilege by not fully disclosing all sins, it is not. I think you were specific enough! God Bless!

Thank you, your post was helpful!

 

[Veronica97]

No.

I go to confession weekly. Sometimes I don’t have anything at all to say although I know perfectly well I must have felt/said/done SOMETHING to SOMEONE. But the bottom line is: if I had really “sinned” it would have been with a moment to consider the act, to acknowledge it was sinful, and do it anyway because it was important to ME at the time. How many of us can really say we live this way? (Well, gee, many, but I don’t live that way.)

The Lord knows you better than you know yourself. If you attempt a good confession and leave something out that you “remember” later and that makes you FEEL as if you have not been absolved, to me that is of Satan.

I think you make a good point: when you’re making a good faith effort to live your life for the Lord and are going to confession regularly, I guess it’s more difficult to sin mortally, and if you did sin mortally you’d KNOW it and it would feel horrendous. I know that deep down. I think you also have a good point in that Satan is most likely at work here. See, I’ve been scrupulous for two years but last month I made some significant (I think so anyway) strides. But when it came time to go to confession, all my anxieties came back. I know deep down that if I had thought the sin I’m worried about was a mortal sin, I would have written it down on my list in the first place–not only that I would have known right away AT THE TIME it all happened at the church meeting, and I would have gone to confession that week. I know that deep down–it can’t become “mortal” after the fact, even if I may suddenly see more clearly later on what I should have done.

 

[Veronica97]

No, I don’t think it was a bad confession, as long as you examined and judged what you confessed to the best of your ability and did not deliberately hide anything from the priest, all your sins were forgiven and absolved. If you don’t already do this, maybe at the end of your confession add something along the lines of “…for these and any other sins that I may have forgotten, I am heartily(truly) sorry.”

I examined my conscience for two days (with prayer to the Holy Spirit and a rosary) and typed out a list and still ended up with anxiety over what I confessed. So I know the Lord knows I made a good effort. I always say, “For these and for all the sins of my life I’m sorry.”