Bad from Good?

[steve975]

I recently dealt with a frustrating issue with my girlfriend and am wondering what the people here think. After we started dating, my girlfriend started going back to weekly Mass with me and has shown great progress in coming Home. But we do deal with several issues about living the Faith which has made it pretty difficult for her at times. And we both still have a long way to go.

Recently, we have a mutual friend who doesn’t attend any kind of religious service, but she asked my girlfriend to help her find a Methodist church she could go to (she was raised Methodist so was seeking that out specifically). Trying to do the right thing, and thinking that it would be a very good step for this girl to attend a Christian service, I looked up some Methodist churches and service times and forwarded the info to my girlfriend to give to her.

Inadvertently, this had a negative consequence. I don’t know why I didn’t consider this, but after my girlfriend forwarded the info, she volunteered to attend the Methodist service with our friend, thinking she might be a little uncomfortable and overwhelmed going alone. I didn’t consider this and didn’t initially like the idea. But I do think it would be a charitable thing for my girlfriend to offer this to our friend. But then I asked my girlfriend if she was still going to attend Mass with me, and she became frustrated with having to attend two services in the same weekend. She agreed to still go, but only because she knew I’d be upset if she didn’t. As it turns out, the friend still has not attended the Methodist service and my girlfriend has still been going to Mass with me. But in trying to do something good, I inadvertently did something that might have led to my girlfriend skipping Mass in favor of bringing our friend to the Methodist service. I know God brings about good from bad, but this seems like a situation which can bring about bad from good.

My girlfriend was also frustrated with me for the problems I had with this. She felt like she was doing something good for someone else, and didn’t want to have to attend two services in one weekend because of the good deed. She does have a busy schedule and likes to have any free time she can get as we all do. She also feels a little insulted that I have concerns about her being led astray by attending a Methodist service. My girlfriend thinks that I’m being a bit uncharitable in not encouraging her more to bring our friend to this Methodist service, as it could be a good thing for our friend. She also asked how I would have felt if the situation were different and the friend had asked my girlfriend to take her to a Catholic Mass.

 

[Leonius]

You should never have done anything to encourage someone to attend false worship in the first place, everything else stems from that mistake, that is what God is teaching you here.

Attending the Methodist service would have not done this person any more good than going to a choir recital, what you and your girlfriend should have done is invite her to Mass.

The problem is you have sent mixed signals, you have acted as if its ok for this friend to go but not your gf, this is not the case, if it is bad for your girlfriend then it is bad for everyone, which it is.

It is not that your gf might be led astray, it is that by attending she is affirming that heresy is ok.

Read this:

forums.catholic-questions.org/showthread.php?t=229077

 

[steve975]

Wow. Thank you for that info. I assumed that because we can attend weddings at non-Catholic churches that it would not be sinful to attend a Sunday service as long as you still go to Mass. I did know that we cannot receive communion, however, and I did tell my girlfriend that. But this makes me think. Part of the reason I thought this wasn’t a problem is that my best friends family is extremely Catholic, but his father remarried a protestant after the death of his first wife years ago. And I’m pretty certain he attends her services with her. I’ll have to check on this. I also was under the impression that some Christian service is better than nothing, and that going to a Methodist service could be a good “foot in the door”, so to speak, to eventually bring someone all the way Home. I guess I was severely mistaken.

 

[Catholic1954]

Your girlfriend is responsible for choosing which church she wishes (or not) to attend. You only gave her information, but it is up to her how she uses it.

 

[Leonius]

Your girlfriend is responsible for choosing which church she wishes (or not) to attend. You only gave her information, but it is up to her how she uses it.

And how she uses it has consequences, one good and one bad, you forgot to mention that part. If you loved someone you would encourage them to choose the good path, not act indifferent and uncaring, there has been to much of that going on.

 

[Leonius]

Wow. Thank you for that info. I assumed that because we can attend weddings at non-Catholic churches that it would not be sinful to attend a Sunday service as long as you still go to Mass. I did know that we cannot receive communion, however, and I did tell my girlfriend that. But this makes me think. Part of the reason I thought this wasn’t a problem is that my best friends family is extremely Catholic, but his father remarried a protestant after the death of his first wife years ago. And I’m pretty certain he attends her services with her. I’ll have to check on this. I also was under the impression that some Christian service is better than nothing, and that going to a Methodist service could be a good “foot in the door”, so to speak, to eventually bring someone all the way Home. I guess I was severely mistaken.

Unfortunately there are a lot of Catholics who set bad examples. Methodism would never lead to Catholicism if anything it creates an extra barrier, you have to realise all forms of protestantism share only one thing in common, they were formed to PROTEST against the Catholic Church, and a good part of many of the denominations teachings are doctrines which are the opposite of Catholicism as a result.

 

[SMHW]

I recently dealt with a frustrating issue with my girlfriend and am wondering what the people here think. After we started dating, my girlfriend started going back to weekly Mass with me and has shown great progress in coming Home. But we do deal with several issues about living the Faith which has made it pretty difficult for her at times. And we both still have a long way to go.

Recently, we have a mutual friend who doesn’t attend any kind of religious service, but she asked my girlfriend to help her find a Methodist church she could go to (she was raised Methodist so was seeking that out specifically). Trying to do the right thing, and thinking that it would be a very good step for this girl to attend a Christian service, I looked up some Methodist churches and service times and forwarded the info to my girlfriend to give to her.

Inadvertently, this had a negative consequence. I don’t know why I didn’t consider this, but after my girlfriend forwarded the info, she volunteered to attend the Methodist service with our friend, thinking she might be a little uncomfortable and overwhelmed going alone. I didn’t consider this and didn’t initially like the idea. But I do think it would be a charitable thing for my girlfriend to offer this to our friend. But then I asked my girlfriend if she was still going to attend Mass with me, and she became frustrated with having to attend two services in the same weekend. She agreed to still go, but only because she knew I’d be upset if she didn’t. As it turns out, the friend still has not attended the Methodist service and my girlfriend has still been going to Mass with me. But in trying to do something good, I inadvertently did something that might have led to my girlfriend skipping Mass in favor of bringing our friend to the Methodist service. I know God brings about good from bad, but this seems like a situation which can bring about bad from good.

My girlfriend was also frustrated with me for the problems I had with this. She felt like she was doing something good for someone else, and didn’t want to have to attend two services in one weekend because of the good deed. She does have a busy schedule and likes to have any free time she can get as we all do. She also feels a little insulted that I have concerns about her being led astray by attending a Methodist service. My girlfriend thinks that I’m being a bit uncharitable in not encouraging her more to bring our friend to this Methodist service, as it could be a good thing for our friend. She also asked how I would have felt if the situation were different and the friend had asked my girlfriend to take her to a Catholic Mass.

We could argue all day about whether or not you should have supplied the information about Methodist services. But that’s just going to distract you from the bigger issue.

You learned that you and your girlfriend are in very different places in your Faith. I don’t know if your girlfriend doesn’t KNOW what is expected of a Catholic as far as Mass attendance is concerned or if she doesn’t especially CARE about Mass attendance. Perhaps it is a little of both. You have to consider what it means to you if she is less committed to the Church than you are.

 

[Spirithound]

Wow. Thank you for that info. I assumed that because we can attend weddings at non-Catholic churches that it would not be sinful to attend a Sunday service as long as you still go to Mass. I did know that we cannot receive communion, however, and I did tell my girlfriend that. But this makes me think. Part of the reason I thought this wasn’t a problem is that my best friends family is extremely Catholic, but his father remarried a protestant after the death of his first wife years ago. And I’m pretty certain he attends her services with her. I’ll have to check on this. I also was under the impression that some Christian service is better than nothing, and that going to a Methodist service could be a good “foot in the door”, so to speak, to eventually bring someone all the way Home. I guess I was severely mistaken.

It is true (as far as I know) that it is not sinful to attend a Protestant service as long as you also attend the Catholic Mass. However, as you’ve just found out, not everybody has the stamina to go to 2 churches in one day.

I agree with you that “some” Christian service is better than nothing, but you, as a Catholic, have something that is infinitely better than just “some” Christian service: you get to attend the Mass! As Leonius said, you should have invited the mutual friend to come to Mass with you and your girlfriend. One particular error I think you may have made was to not have an “exit strategy” for your friend, that is, exiting the Methodist church, and entering the Catholic Church. Remember, we don’t aim for mediocrity. God demands perfection!

Peace be with you