Baptising my baby

[Gary_SAFC]

Hi

I was wondering if anyone could advise. I’m catholic but of the lapsed variety. Which is not to say I don’t believe in God but does mean that I limit my visits to Church to Easter and Christmas and I guess my normal state is somehwere between belief and scepticism.

My baby son Will was born 3 months ago and I’m married to an Anglican. We’re now thinking about baptism and despite my own equivocal position I am grateful for the upbringing I had which was instructive in terms of knowing right from wrong. As such I think my son would benefit from a catholic upbringing. But I worry about what a priest would think about my own equivocation and also the fact that I’m married to an Anglican.

Just wondering if anyone had any views or advice on the matter. By the way I’m posting this from London.

Many thanks

Gary

 

[anna1978]

Which parish do you belong to? I know a few priests in the northern London parishes, Edgware, Stanmore and Burnt Oak…and they will generally baptise only if they feel you will do all you can to raise your child a good Catholic, and you will most likely have to attend a baptism course, which in my parish is 6-weeks, but I know with Fr Pat in Edgware for instance it’s more like 4-months…And he has declined to baptise children who’s parents were not regular church-goers. But…you can always ask, and who knows, baptising your child might get you and your wife interested in church again? Miracles do happen Anyway, congratulations on your new son, and just call your parish and ask! Don’t be shy Most priests I know are pretty understanding…and the worst that can happen is, is that they want to see you in church for a bit before they agree to baptise your son, very few-hardly any really-priests will say ‘no way’, but a couple might say ‘not yet’!

Anna x

 

[anna1978]

By the way, did you marry in the church/with dispensation? I know some priests will want you to get your marriage convalidated first, as otherwise you might be considered ‘invalidly married’…

Anna x

 

[Gary_SAFC]

Hi Anna

Many thanks for your advice. I live in Bromley, Kent. Our local parish priest is very traditional but I’ll give it a go!

It’s strange, when you’re growing up you feel like being a Catholic is a bit like a life-long membership to a club, but I guess it’s been a while since I’ve paid the club’s fees.

Thanks again and hope the sermon was a good one today.

Gary

 

[stbruno]

Here in our diocese in the US, a child must have one Catholic parent with the other agreeing to raise the child Catholic. A child is not denied baptism because the parents were not married in the church, however the parents are reminded how important their example is in raising a child to be Catholic. They are also encouraged strongly to convalidate or marry in the church so they themselves may fully participate in the church. The only time a baptism is delayed is if there is any doubt that the child will be raised Catholic. That is one of the questions the parents are asked at the time of the baptism. And also the Catholic godparents who have been confirmed are asked as well. As witnesses to the church, the godparents are making a promise to help raise the child in the Church if the parent are lax.
Pray always. But as the other repliers have said…start with your parish priest. God bless you on the birth of your little one! You have been given a great gift from God.

 

[Br.Rich_SFO]

Gary SAFC:

Hi

I was wondering if anyone could advise. I’m catholic but of the lapsed variety. Which is not to say I don’t believe in God but does mean that I limit my visits to Church to Easter and Christmas and I guess my normal state is somehwere between belief and scepticism.

My baby son Will was born 3 months ago and I’m married to an Anglican. We’re now thinking about baptism and despite my own equivocal position I am grateful for the upbringing I had which was instructive in terms of knowing right from wrong. As such I think my son would benefit from a catholic upbringing. But I worry about what a priest would think about my own equivocation and also the fact that I’m married to an Anglican.

Just wondering if anyone had any views or advice on the matter. By the way I’m posting this from London.

Many thanks

Gary

I’m sure that your pastor would help you get your Marriage Convalidated, return to the Sacraments and Sunday Mass, and Baptized you child. In that order.

 

[Rob_s_Wife]

When a child is baptised in the Catholic Church, the Catholic parent(s) are asked if they intend to raise the child in the Faith and to make a promise to do so.

If you feel you will and can make such a statement, then it would be appropriate to do so for your child. Your wives faith does not impede that option, but I would hope you both come to agreement on the issue.

 

[asquared]

Gary SAFC:

Hi

I was wondering if anyone could advise. I’m catholic but of the lapsed variety. Which is not to say I don’t believe in God but does mean that I limit my visits to Church to Easter and Christmas and I guess my normal state is somehwere between belief and scepticism.

in order to request baptism for your child you do not need to be married in the Catholic Church (or indeed married at all) but you must give evidence that you plan to raise the child as a Catholic. Obviously if the parents are not married, or not married in the Church, and if the Catholic partner does not believe in the central tenets of his religion, and does not practice his faith, the priest will be justified in asking how you plan to raise a Catholic child.

If you think about your own childhood, you will easily see that it is very hard to send your child to Catholic school or CCD class where he is taught one thing, and then to raise him in a home where he is taught something else. It puts the parents in a bad position if school or CCD is going to contradict the parents’ views, and puts the child in a bad position if he hears and sees things at home that go against his teaching at school.

You need a frank discussion with your wife on the whole topic of children in general, how you plan to raise them, the relative importance of religious doctrine and practice in your family life etc. I think the movement you feel in your heart back toward you faith is genuine and you must give it more thought and prayer. This can be the opportunity for amazing graces for your family as you baptize your child, learn more about your faith in the process, have your marriage blessed–another source of immense sacramental grace and strength–and return to the sacraments of penance and Eucharist.