Baptism and Godarents

[rotlex]

Please excuse me if this sounds like a little vent, but I have to ask. In the churches eyes, what is more important? The baptism of the actual child, or having Godparents? I ask this as my wife and I are expecting our 2nd child in October. We are both born, and confirmed Catholics. Our daughter was born, and baptized Catholic.

Shoot to the future. Seems coincidence, but over the past few weeks, prior to us signing up for the baptism classes, there has been TONS of notices on the weekly bulletins regarding baptism. The thing that has bothered me most, is the strong emphasis on the Godparents. I understand they want them to be good, practicing, mass attending Catholics,. but what if they aren’t? Is it better to choose someone you don’t even know that well, or someone who you believe would be able to raise your child? Again, forgive me if this seems like a vent, but what happens when someone moves out of state, out of country, and has a child and it would be near impossible to find what they consider valid Godparents?

I’m just a little frustrated I guess as it seems the church is putting more emphasis on this than actually caring that a child be baptized at all.

Am I looking at this the wrong way? I understand the meaning behind proper Godparents and all that. it’s just that I’m not really sure how to handle it if the church won’t give who we have chosen the “OK”.

Thoughts or comments welcome.

 

[PhilotheaZ]

A godparent is not expected to raise your child. He or she should be “able and ready to help the newly baptized — child or adult — on the road of Christian life” (Catechism #1255).

This is not necessarily the same person you would choose to assume care for your child in the event of your own untimely death. You should name a guardian for your child for that eventuality (a lawyer can help you with this). Quite often, the person who assumes this role is not the godparent.

But a godparent should be ready, willing, and able to share his or her Catholic faith with the godchild. The godparent assists the parents in this role.

One of the ways godparents share their faith with a godchild is by being good examples or role models. If they are not practicing their faith (attending Mass, living virtuous lives), what kind of example are they setting for the godchild?

The parish may be able to recommend a godparent if there is nobody you know who could fill that role.

 

[rotlex]

A godparent is not expected to raise your child. He or she should be “able and ready to help the newly baptized — child or adult — on the road of Christian life” (Catechism #1255).

This is not necessarily the same person you would choose to assume care for your child in the event of your own untimely death. You should name a guardian for your child for that eventuality (a lawyer can help you with this). Quite often, the person who assumes this role is not the godparent.

But a godparent should be ready, willing, and able to share his or her Catholic faith with the godchild. The godparent assists the parents in this role.

Thanks, and yeah, I probably worded that wrong in the beginning, but I guess it kind of means a similar thing to me. Yes, I want someone to assist in properly raising my child in the Catholic faith, but that person, or person’s, would most likely be those that I choose to raise them in the event of my wife and I’s demise.

I guess, even as much as I try to learn, in a nutshell, I can’ t understand why the church places so much emphasis on Godparents. Again, that probably sounds wrong, but to me, the first and foremost important things should be the parents and the child. One should not have to deal with the possibilities of having “issues” with a child’s baptism due to the selection of Godparents. Just my opinion of course.

 

[Phemie]

If you go to Mass regularly you should have no problem finding qualified godparents. They may not be close friends or family but I’m sure there are good people who meet the requirements sitting around you each Sunday.

One couple who moved to our parish from Africa had that dilemma when the time came. They opted for people they saw each Sunday at Mass. These people have become like family to them now.

Pick someone who will be able to help you raise your child in the faith. That is not necessarily someone who would be raising your child if something happened to you.

 

[Phemie]

Thanks, and yeah, I probably worded that wrong in the beginning, but I guess it kind of means a similar thing to me. Yes, I want someone to assist in properly raising my child in the Catholic faith, but that person, or person’s, would most likely be those that I choose to raise them in the event of my wife and I’s demise.

I guess, even as much as I try to learn, in a nutshell, I can’ t understand why the church places so much emphasis on Godparents. Again, that probably sounds wrong, but to me, the first and foremost important things should be the parents and the child. One should not have to deal with the possibilities of having “issues” with a child’s baptism due to the selection of Godparents. Just my opinion of course.

Just like in many organizations you have to be sponsored, so it is with the Church. If it’s that much of a problem for you, I know families where the parents opted to have their own parents be their children’s godparents. You might consider that if they meet the requirements.

 

[PhilotheaZ]

I guess, even as much as I try to learn, in a nutshell, I can’ t understand why the church places so much emphasis on Godparents. Again, that probably sounds wrong, but to me, the first and foremost important things should be the parents and the child.

I think part of the reason the Church places emphasis on godparents is that our faith is not a private matter. We are baptized into a community — the community of Christian believers. If you read a little further in the part I quoted from the Catechism, it says the following:

“Their [the godparents’] task is a truly ecclesial funtion (officium). The whole ecclesial community bears some responsibility for the development and safeguarding of the grace given at Baptism” (Catechism #1255).

So the godparents you choose are representatives of the whole ecclesial (church) community in welcoming your child into the life of the Church and guiding your child’s growth in faith.

One should not have to deal with the possibilities of having “issues” with a child’s baptism due to the selection of Godparents.

I’m not sure what issues you’re referring to. Is there someone in your family who would be offened if they were not chosen? This is an important role with real responsibilities. It is not a popularity contest nor a way to honor an adult relative or friend.

 

[1ke]

Please excuse me if this sounds like a little vent, but I have to ask. In the churches eyes, what is more important? The baptism of the actual child, or having Godparents?

Both. A sponsor is required, and must meet the requirements in Canon Law.

I understand they want them to be good, practicing, mass attending Catholics,. but what if they aren’t?

This is a requirement of Canon Law.

Is it better to choose someone you don’t even know that well, or someone who you believe would be able to raise your child?

A sponsor/god parent has nothing to do with “raising your child”.

Again, forgive me if this seems like a vent, but what happens when someone moves out of state, out of country, and has a child and it would be near impossible to find what they consider valid Godparents?

A sponsor/godparent does not have to be physically present at the baptism. Proxy is available for this situation.

Am I looking at this the wrong way?

IMHO, yes.

I understand the meaning behind proper Godparents and all that. it’s just that I’m not really sure how to handle it if the church won’t give who we have chosen the “OK”.

Then you choose someone else. The requirement are clear, and they aren’t unreasonable.

 

[Br.Rich_SFO]

Please excuse me if this sounds like a little vent, but I have to ask. In the churches eyes, what is more important? The baptism of the actual child, or having Godparents? I ask this as my wife and I are expecting our 2nd child in October. We are both born, and confirmed Catholics. Our daughter was born, and baptized Catholic.

Shoot to the future. Seems coincidence, but over the past few weeks, prior to us signing up for the baptism classes, there has been TONS of notices on the weekly bulletins regarding baptism. The thing that has bothered me most, is the strong emphasis on the Godparents. I understand they want them to be good, practicing, mass attending Catholics,. but what if they aren’t? Is it better to choose someone you don’t even know that well, or someone who you believe would be able to raise your child? Again, forgive me if this seems like a vent, but what happens when someone moves out of state, out of country, and has a child and it would be near impossible to find what they consider valid Godparents?

I’m just a little frustrated I guess as it seems the church is putting more emphasis on this than actually caring that a child be baptized at all.

Am I looking at this the wrong way? I understand the meaning behind proper Godparents and all that. it’s just that I’m not really sure how to handle it if the church won’t give who we have chosen the “OK”.

Thoughts or comments welcome.

First off there only needs to one Godparent. They must meet the requirements of Canon Law. They do not have to be a family member, never have!