Baptism and Parish Membership

[ChrissyB364]

I plan on talking to the priest about this but thought I might get a quick answer and a little background here before I did.

I am awaiting convalidation and my husband (though he doesn’t want the kids raised Catholic) has agreed to let them be baptized. My question is will I be able to become a member of the parish while awaiting convalidation? I’m assuming I have to be a member to have the kids baptized. Also, all my family lives out of state and when I choose Godparents I know that they will not be able to attend, where do I get stand ins when I don’t really know any other Catholics? I’d like to get them baptized as soon as possible and not have to wait for my convalidation to be final; seems unfair that my stupidity should keep them from that.

 

[Usige]

Registering at a parish shouldn’t be an issue while waiting for a convalidation. It does raise the question of why you’d have to wait for a convalidation (normally doesn’t require a huge wait), but maybe that’s for another thread

It is good that you want to have your children baptized. You mention that your husband does not want the kids raised catholic and this might be an issue. A priest can delay baptism if there are indications that a child will not be raised in the faith. While your husband does not have to agree to raise them Catholic you are required to do everything possible to make sure they are raised in the faith.

As for Godparents, not sure how you find stand in. Normally the Godparents are the people who pledge to raise your children in the faith if you are not able to. The parish can better help you with the procedure to have stand in witnesses.

 

[ChrissyB364]

I’m glad to hear that convalidation shouldn’t take too long (I’m waiting for my cousin and aunt to have their priest sign off on the form that tthey know I was never married in the Church to begin with, its hard to stay on top of them from 700 miles away). I feel like I need the Eucharist to continue to grow in my Faith and deal with my husband. Sadly it feels like when I need it the most it’s just out of reach.

I questioned myself whether or not they should be baptized if the possibility is there they may not be raised in the Faith. I feel that my husband agreeing to have them baptized is a step in the right direction and that right now all I can do is pray about it (and would appreciate yours as well). I feel like they will need the grace of baptism going forward in this situation. Thanks so much for your advice

 

[SMHW]

Hi Chrissy,

Your priest is the best person to address the issue of having your children baptized. I’d be very open with him about your husband’s position on raising the children as Catholics. You don’t say how old they are. If any of them are over the age of about seven then those children will have to make their own decisions about baptism but any younger than that (the Church calls them infants) can be baptized based on your faith. Most parishes require instruction for parents before infant baptism and sometimes require something of the Godparents. If your parish needs the Godparents to do anything then you’ll want to give them plenty of time to take care of it.

As far as having “stand-ins” for the Godparents… There has been a long Church tradition of having “proxies” when the Godparents are not able to be there. Chances are that your priest or whoever in the parish handles infant baptismal preparation can find someone for you.