Baptismal Stipend

[Scout]

My three children are all getting baptized this Saturday (Amen!). I know it is traditional to give the priest a stipend, but I’m not sure how much to give him. I called the parish office, and they said the stipend was whatever the person wanted to give. However, I don’t know how much people usually give. Do I give him a certain amount for each child, or just one lump sum? And how do I actually go about giving it to him? Do I put it in a “thank you” card or something like that?

Scout :tiphat:

 

[Deacon_Ed]

Here’s how we do this in my parish. We suggest a donation of $20 for the parish and $10 for the priest/deacon doing the baptism. I think that most people give me $20 for a baptism. If there are multiple children (the most I’ve done for one family is two) then they add an additional $5. It really is whatever you want to give. There are many people in my parish who can’t afford anything – so they give nothing. It really doesn’t matter to me since I don’t sell the sacrament. It’s a gift, and no one is entitled to a gift.

Deacon Ed

 

[Bill_A]

Deacon Ed:

Here’s how we do this in my parish. We suggest a donation of $20 for the parish and $10 for the priest/deacon doing the baptism. I think that most people give me $20 for a baptism. If there are multiple children (the most I’ve done for one family is two) then they add an additional $5. It really is whatever you want to give. There are many people in my parish who can’t afford anything – so they give nothing. It really doesn’t matter to me since I don’t sell the sacrament. It’s a gift, and no one is entitled to a gift.

Deacon Ed

I was an Alter Boy and we used to get $20 for weddings. We were poor and I always wanted to celibrate Christmas but the priest knew I was poor I think and I always got to do weddings. I think I spent the money on food most of the time.

This was 20 years ago. If you want to make the priest really happy give him $40 but as the Deacon said. People give what they can afford. SO they are happy to get $20.

Make sure you pay him before. It is bad luck to give a priest money afterwards, as condition of services rendered. If you pay him before services rendered it is more of a donation and less of an Indulgance. The same Goes if you have an item blessed. Make sure you pay first.

 

[Catholic90]

Bill_A:

It is bad luck to give a priest money afterwards, as condition of services rendered. If you pay him before services rendered it is more of a donation and less of an Indulgance. The same Goes if you have an item blessed. Make sure you pay first.

Since when does “luck” have ANYTHING at all to do with faith???

And Paying to have something blessed??? I’ve had many items blessed and have never PAID to have it done!!

Edited add to the original poster: We did not pay our priest directly for baptism, but did invite him for the baptismal lunches afterwords. We are also quite generous donors (time, talent, and treasure) to our parish in general, though. All baptisms were done during the regular Sunday masses.

 

[Scout]

Catholic90:

Since when does “luck” have ANYTHING at all to do with faith???

And Paying to have something blessed??? I’ve had many items blessed and have never PAID to have it done!!

Edited add to the original poster: We did not pay our priest directly for baptism, but did invite him for the baptismal lunches afterwords. We are also quite generous donors (time, talent, and treasure) to our parish in general, though. All baptisms were done during the regular Sunday masses.

Fr. is being invited for dinner on Sunday, because he can’t make it to the post-baptismal party on Saturday (has Confession and the 5:30 Mass).

So do we just give him the money in a card or something like that?

Scout :tiphat:

 

[Deacon_Ed]

Scout,

That would be appropriate. We actually have envelopes that are given to each family: one says it’s for the church while the other says it’s for the priest/deacon doing the baptism.

Deacon Ed

 

[Scout]

Deacon Ed:

Scout,

That would be appropriate. We actually have envelopes that are given to each family: one says it’s for the church while the other says it’s for the priest/deacon doing the baptism.

Deacon Ed

Thanks. As a new Catholic, I guess I’m afraid of doing something inappropriate or insulting Fr. in some way. Although I know that would be difficult to do-he’s so layed-back and easy-going, you’d have to work very hard to insult him.

Scout :tiphat:

 

[CathyD]

Huh? I’m a lifelong Catholic with three children. I’ve never heard of giving a stipend! It’s never, EVER been mentioned! Is this everywhere?

We certainly didn’t give the priest or deacon a stipend for any of our kids!

Cathy

 

[Scout]

CathyD:

Huh? I’m a lifelong Catholic with three children. I’ve never heard of giving a stipend! It’s never, EVER been mentioned! Is this everywhere?

We certainly didn’t give the priest or deacon a stipend for any of our kids!

Cathy

It’s entirely optional. From what I understand, the tradition can vary from diocese to diocese; and I doubt that a priest would ever ask for it, since it is voluntary. I’m not sure where the tradition comes from. Maybe someone can tell us about it.

Scout :tiphat:

 

[Bill_A]

Being Baptised was the best thing that ever happend to me. The Priest that Baptised me is still kicking and hes like 80 years old.

Its obligatory. If the priest takes vows of poverty, which some monks do and give up a salary to pay for the gas and food at the church. They use the money to pay for airconditioning and other things.

 

[Scout]

Bill_A:

Being Baptised was the best thing that ever happend to me. The Priest that Baptised me is still kicking and hes like 80 years old.

Its obligatory. If the priest takes vows of poverty, which some monks do and give up a salary to pay for the gas and food at the church. They use the money to pay for airconditioning and other things.

My priest isn’t an order priest, so there’s no vow of poverty.

Fr. is baptizing all three of my children on Saturday. I wanted to give him $50.00 per child. Does anyone think that’s too much? I know it’s probably more than what most people give, but since he’s doing all three I thought maybe he should have extra.

Scout :tiphat:

 

[Bill_A]

Holy Smokes! Hes going to be one happy priest!

FOr that much money. Id demand to see the the Paschal candle spin around in the air. Which I did see in front of witnesses one day but it did not leave the ground.

 

[Deacon_Ed]

Scout:

My priest isn’t an order priest, so there’s no vow of poverty.

Fr. is baptizing all three of my children on Saturday. I wanted to give him $50.00 per child. Does anyone think that’s too much? I know it’s probably more than what most people give, but since he’s doing all three I thought maybe he should have extra.

Scout :tiphat:

Give what you want to give. I had one family give me $200 for one child (I check to make sure that was right – they also gave $200 to the parish).

Deacon Ed

 

[Scout]

Bill_A:

Holy Smokes! Hes going to be one happy priest!

FOr that much money. Id demand to see the the Paschal candle spin around in the air. Which I did see in front of witnesses one day but it did not leave the ground.

Actually, he’ll probably try to find some way of telling me he doesn’t need it and I don’t have to pay it. Like that’d keep me from giving it to him. He’s just a really humble guy and doesn’t look for things like this, which makes it all the more joyful for me to offer it to him.

Scout :tiphat:

 

[Scout]

Deacon Ed:

Give what you want to give. I had one family give me $200 for one child (I check to make sure that was right – they also gave $200 to the parish).

Deacon Ed

If it were left up to me, I’d probably give more. However, my husband says I’m not allowed to give him the US Treasury.

Thanks for advice. You were very helpful.

Scout :tiphat:

 

[Bill_A]

If he doesnt want the money. Tell him to use it for paint for the rectory or the school, or mops, or cleaning supplies. There are tons of things they always need.

 

[asquared]

don’t know the rules in this diocese, in former diocese priest had the option of keeping mass stipends and sacramental donations, declaring them as personal income & paying tax on it, or putting it in the parish funds, but it was not liable for the tax paid on collections owed to the bishop. All the priests I knew gave it to the parish.

In my current parish sacramental donations cover the incidental expenses - certificates, record keeping, candles, books for parent classes, and what-not. $10 is suggested, but never required. Envelope says “sacramental donation”. Our priest has specifically asked that he not be given personal gifts especially of money. What he does receive is given to the poor (tho most people are not aware of it.) He did accept a car purchased by donations from well-wishers for that purpose when he took a diocesan assignment that requires lots of driving. He had no car before.

Mass stipends and sacramental donations, or “stole fees” have a long history, dating back to the time when the parish priest did not have a salary or other source of income. While monasteries had income from farms or other ventures, parish priests had no other income to pay living expenses.