Baptized Presbyterian - How to convert to Catholicism?

[Cinette]

Thanks again to everyone for the responses. It seems that this has generated some interest, and I really appreciate all the feedback.

I want to assure you all that I simply would not do this ‘just’ for her. It’s something that you have to agree with. Please also understand that religion has always fascinated me, and I have studied many different religions and denominations in college as well. If I felt that it was something that I was opposed to, I would have certainly talked it over with her already and expressed my concern.

Marriage is a lot of love, dedication, compromise, and communication, mixed in with a lot of common sense and friendship as well. And the communication part is definitely something that I, myself, need to work on. We definitely have the love part down, as we are childhood sweethearts reunited. We’ve also been working on the compromise portion of it. Before asking her to marry me, we had the talks about finances, how she raises her children, if there will be more children, bad habits, good habits, how we clean house, what our expectations of marriage are, moral values, etc. Both of us have really tried to bring up every issue that we have thought of so far to discuss with each other. Faith was the last thing to come up. Since she isn’t a truly practicing Catholic (doesn’t go to mass, confession, etc. as often as she should-she goes about as often as I do to church) that’s why it never came up. We are already best friends, and have been since the day of reuniting. When something goes wrong or great, we share those things with each other, ask each other for advice, etc. We’re also VERY dedicated to each other.

With all of that said, she is like a blessing to my life. She has always been that special someone that you’ve always thought of in the back of your mind, and I am that special someone to her as well. Sharing my life with her has really been one of life’s great things.

Do any of you all have any thoughts for me on improving the communication aspect? Will marriage prep. classes actually teach us how to communicate better with each other?

I think if you do attend RCIA, that your fiance attend with you because it seems to me that she may not be fully Catechised. We need constant conversion and growth in our Faith. I think someone suggested you read “Rome Sweet Home” - that is an excellent idea. You will find the Catholic Church very interesting and exciting and it will probably become the centre of your lives. It will strengthen your union with all the graces and blessings.

Cinette

 

[tqualey]

Hi, Joleoneck,

Allow me to join in and welcome you to the list…

Becoming a Catholic, like was previously stated, is a really big step … we’re not just one of the gang…just another ‘denominaton’. While there are certain similiarites, I think once you find yourself actually loving to learn about the Catholic Church (CC) you will see that this is just not another topic to study, but a life to be lived.

Best advice I can think of is to meet with the parish priest in the girl’s parish and put all the cards on the table, find out what is necessary and what is not (e.g., I am totally unfamiliar with a set time period like two yerars prior to doing anything… things like this need to be clarified. I am positive you will be pleased with the answer you receive.)

By the way, my wife and I have been married 38 years … going on 39! (She is a very patient woman!!! ) My wife has been a true blessing in my life, and I certainly wish your future bride all of the happiness.

One thing you said, however, did catch my eye…

Before asking her to marry me, we had the talks about finances, how she raises her children, if there will be more children, bad habits, good habits, how we clean house, what our expectations of marriage are, moral values, etc. Both of us have really tried to bring up every issue that we have thought of so far to discuss with each other. Faith was the last thing to come up. Since she isn’t a truly practicing Catholic (doesn’t go to mass, confession, etc. as often as she should-she goes about as often as I do to church) that’s why it never came up. We are already best friends, and have been since the day of reuniting.

… the phrase, “…how she raises her children…” sounded a bit out of tune with the rest of melody from the ringing of the distant wedding bells. Are there children that are "hers"? Was she (or you for that matter) previously married? If so, this is something that would be considered ‘one of the cards’ you are going to put on the table face up when you and she and the priest meet.

If, however, you were referring to the children that you and she plan to have…but she will raise… this is another card that needs to go face up on the table, too. Deficient parenting is a terrible price for an innocent child to bear for their entire life. Look around you and you will see how many never quite do get over it! Men and Women are different (something the gay community seems to be having a hard time recognizing…) Each one of us bring a special view, approach, focus to the rearing (I was taught that crops and cattle are raised but children are reared…) of our offspring. Little boys and little girls need both a Mom and a Dad who take an active, equal but unique role in every aspect of their childrens’ lives.

God bless

 

[joleonekc]

how she raises her children

Refers to the two children that she already has. I have no children, and have never been married. However, I have recently met the children and they are darling! The initial meeting went A LOT better than I expected. She actually made me wait to meet her two children for a LONG time, which I really admire. She has really displayed to me that her children mean the world to her, and that is very important to me. I would not want a woman that would put me before her children. I accepted her children as readily as I accepted her, and the children accepted me. Although i can tell that the older child is still somewhat trying to ‘figure me out’. However, they have asked their mom if I would go to the park with them the next time they go and seem to be eager to get to know me as well. They’re very interested in me as well, as they ask things like “Will you read to me?”, “Will you color with us?”, or “Will you be eating dinner with us tonight?”. To me these are all good signs, as they’re not scared of me or too cautious of me.

My fiancee has also asked me if I am prepared for children. To which my answer was “Honey, I will treat your children like they are my own. I will keep them out of harm’s way, and protect them as much as humanly possible. In addition, I look forward to spending time with them in dealing with homework and day-to-day activities as well. I will also attend any and every child-related function you would like for me to, as I expect our relationship to be not just a marriage but a family. I feel that they should be thought of and included in every major or minor decision that we make together and independently. I will also always respect their father.” So, the short answer is yes I am ready for children.

We have also spoke about the possibility of having a child together one day. To me, this is something that if it happens it happens. If it doesn’t then that is ok as well. She shares the same view on that as well. We both agree that we need to wait a while after getting married for another child if this is what we decide to do. My major concern is let’s be financially stable for the two existing children and ourselves before considering having another child.

 

[tqualey]

Hi, Joleonekc,

Sounds like things are going well. Having an ‘instant family’ can certainly create its own set of stressors - and, don’t forget, they are just kids, so emotional and intelectual stability is still developing. And, if you need a wake-up call, I still remember the day my now 35-year old daughter asked for the car keys!

Preparing for one’s future responsibilities is both wise and prudent. Doing this in conjunction with your is what marriage is all about. My wife and I just saw the movie “Fireproof” … and this maybe be something that both of you may enjoy. I confess, I was not overly pleased with the beginning part … actually, started to walk out and do something else … but, my wife talking me into staying. Glad I did…

It sounds like to just go to another “face up” card…

We have also spoke about the possibility of having a child together one day. To me, this is something that if it happens it happens. If it doesn’t then that is ok as well. She shares the same view on that as well. We both agree that we need to wait a while after getting married for another child if this is what we decide to do. My major concern is let’s be financially stable for the two existing children and ourselves before considering having another child.

Waiting is not the problem…it is, ***how one waits *** that you and your intended and the priest should discuss. Additionally, issues like have the children been baptized Catholic? Are they getting instruction in their Catholic Faith? Need to be addressed on as practical a level as possible…with baptismal certificates and finding out what is going on with their faith formation. You know… there really is a lot to this… but, it is worth it. I am very pleased to tell you that my wife still teaches the torches to burn bright!

As parents (and parent-to-be we all set examples for children. Even other people’s kids are looking at us, too! So, doing things right the first time has a lot going for it. One of the post mentioned that not attending Mass on Sunday is not the way our Catholic Faith is practiced - and, you as a convert telling your spouse it is time to go to Mass is a potential source of conflict… and now throw in the wild card of the kids being exposed to not going to Mass (a lot depends on age… so, this is something just to check out and discuss)

God bless

God bless

 

[Cinette]

In regard to children, no matter how good the marriage, how ideal the circumstances, children’s emotional growth will come into play. No matter how you “get on”, their Father is always their Father (even if he is a scoundrel) - the children will tend to blame you for their emotional problems when they occur.

I know, I experienced it with one of my children.

So, a marriage based on prayer and Faith is a good beginning.

 

[wildjmp]

Hello,

I have searched for the answer to this question on the forum, but so far have not really found a good ‘concrete’ answer. So, here it goes.

I was baptized years ago as a Presbyterian (age 10-12), and also attended a Assembly of God Christian school for 12+ years (Pre-K - 8th grade). I have been asked by my fiancee to convert to Catholicism before our wedding so that we can marry in her church and share the same religious views. I have no issue with this at all, as I believe that sharing the same religious values between the two of us are VERY important. I can’t say I have always been the best Christian follower. However I am very familiar with the word of God, the Bible’s teachings, etc.

What will be required for me to join the Catholic Church? Will I have to attend the traditional Catechism classes? How long does this process take? What should I expect? We’re due to get married in April 2010. Will I have enough time to complete what is required? Will the Church also require us to take any marriage classes in addition to the classes that I will require to join the Church?

Thanks!

Hello there,

First off, congratulations on the wedding plans! My boyfriend (soon to be fiance, waiting for my ring ) and I just had our confirmation. He actually converted from Presbyterianism and I just got my adult confirmation since I didn’t have time to do it back in high school. He had issues with Calvinism and a few other things which is why he converted, if you’re wondering. Although I do agree that a married couple should be of the same faith, make sure you do want to become Catholic for yourself. The priest will also talk to you privately about this most likely. Of course, I wanted my guy to become Catholic but ultimately he has to believe in it fully to receive the Eucharist and live out the faith. If you’ve already been baptized, it’s only valid if it’s been done if the name of the Holy Trinity. Another situation is a conditional baptism, my friend’s boyfriend had to have it because they couldn’t find his baptism certificate.

The high school students are getting confirmed on Pentecost while the adults got confirmed Paschal Vigil (Easter Vigil). Not sure why but that’s how it worked for us.
Paschal Vigil is one of my favorite masses if you haven’t already been. For Catholics, we begin celebrating Easter and other ceremonies the night before at dusk. There’s seven readings from genesis, chant, incense, intercession of the saints, the lighting of the “new” fire which lights the annual baptismal candle for the church representing the light of Christ. It’s the candle lit at every wedding, baptism, etc. When your turn comes, you do a profession of faith in front of the congregation with your group and then later receive the Chrism (holy oil) and then the Eucharist for the first time. You receive the Gift of the Holy Spirit into your adult life and your previous sins are forgiven. Of course, you must go through your first confession (Reconciliation) previously.

I believe we started in September or maybe it was October? the RCIA process. We met thursday nights from 7:00-9:00. I’ve always loved attending mass and doing church “stuff” but I didn’t think I would enjoy it as much as I ended up enjoying it. We would start out with a prayer, and then would receive handouts about scripture and go over our thoughts on how it relates to our lives and, of course, the Catholic interpretation of it. We would have refreshments and one break about 15-20 minutes. Some nights we would just be taught catechism such as what the sacraments are and then ask questions. Don’t feel hesitant to ask questions. Honestly, I found some discrepancies that the lay teachers taught and had to clarify. Before becoming Catholic, do reading on your own as well if you have concerns that aren’t addressed.

Any other questions, feel free to ask

~Jennifer

 

[Incomplete]

The source was from my parents, they have e been happily married, yet left the church once it stated, their marriage was not recognized by the Catholic church due to the “new” 2 year time frame. They no longer really believe in Christianity any more, much less consider themselves to be Catholic. They stopped going to mass shortly after being told that by the church. That is my tragic source I have drawn upon. Someone more learned, please, by all means, speak up, I don’t consider myself to be all knowing, there is a great deal I still have to learn.

There has to be some kind of misunderstanding here. Once the Church married them, there is no way they would later “retract” it because of some so-called new rule.

As others have said, both parties don’t have to be Catholic. My husband wasn’t when we married in the Church. As far as the time frame, when he joined the Church many years later, it was after 8 months in an RCIA program.

 

[Deborah777]

I was raised in Disciples of Christ Christian Church, was Baptized at N. Druid Hills Christian Church which is no longer there, and I don’t have my Baptism records. My brother(since passed many years ago) was Catholic, I did attend his Catholic Church when I was a teenager and always felt the presence and closeness of God in his Church like no other. I have been thinking of becoming Catholic for some time now and keep coming back to it, so I believe this is something I should and want to do. My question is do I have to have my Baptism records in order to become Catholic? I know I need to go to the Rites of Inititiation Classes, what else should I do or read?

 

[SuscipeMeDomine]

I was raised in Disciples of Christ Christian Church, was Baptized at N. Druid Hills Christian Church which is no longer there, and I don’t have my Baptism records. My brother(since passed many years ago) was Catholic, I did attend his Catholic Church when I was a teenager and always felt the presence and closeness of God in his Church like no other. I have been thinking of becoming Catholic for some time now and keep coming back to it, so I believe this is something I should and want to do. My question is do I have to have my Baptism records in order to become Catholic? I know I need to go to the Rites of Inititiation Classes, what else should I do or read?

If you have a baptismal certificate that makes things easy. If you don’t, then there are other ways of proving baptism. I don’t know how old you were when you were baptized. If you were old enough to remember it, that can be used. If you have parents or other relatives who were there they can attest to it. In short, the Church will work with you to show that you were baptized. If no evidence can be found for your baptism, then you can be conditionally baptized. This is done privately with the idea that if you are already baptized it has no effect, and if you are not already baptized then you will be baptized at that point.

Your RCIA team and parish staff will work with you on this.

 

[Deborah777]

I don’t have the record, I was 16 or 17, my parents witnessed, but they passed in early 90’s.
The Church is gone and Pastor Marlin Day, that Baptized me has also passed away some yrs. ago. Would I start over and be Baptized again, would it be as a Catholic or before I become Catholic? Thanks for your help and information

 

[SuscipeMeDomine]

I don’t have the record, I was 16 or 17, my parents witnessed, but they passed in early 90’s.
The Church is gone and Pastor Marlin Day, that Baptized me has also passed away some yrs. ago. Would I start over and be Baptized again, would it be as a Catholic or before I become Catholic? Thanks for your help and information

You were old enough to remember and that may be sufficient. Check with your RCIA team. Honestly, I’m not sure if one person’s memory is sufficient or not. If you were in my parish would need to check with the pastor to be sure, so I can’t give you an absolute answer.

As I said earlier, if there’s any question about your baptism you would be conditionally baptized (“just in case”) and would be treated as a baptized candidate rather than a catechumen (someone seeking baptism).