Barron and Peterson; “Love is harsh and dreadful”

[Daisy]

I was watching a discussion between Bishop Barron and Dr Jordan Peterson here

One of their agreements was that “love is harsh and dreadful” because the lover holds the beloved accountable. What are your thoughts, as Catholics, on this insight? Do you feel like the church lives up to this as a whole? as(And I will take comments off the air… I’ve gotta go do stuff and don’t personally have time to get into discussion.)

 

[goout]

Is the language possibly rhetoric and/or hyperbole?

 

[Daisy]

I watched the video. No.

 

[Tis_Bearself]

I’m trying to think of something my husband “held me accountable” for in 33 years.

I know I held him accountable when he a) gave me a folding shovel wrapped in “Over the Hill” paper in front of my parents on my 23rd birthday and b) developed indigestion on our first Christmas as a married couple and wouldn’t eat my special Christmas roast. I’m not sure things reached the “harsh and dreadful” stage though or at least not for very long.

“Love is harsh and dreadful” sounds more like when my mom would get really mad at me for about 3 days over something I considered minor. I put up with it from her but made sure to avoid or get rid of anyone else who acted harsh or dreadful.

 

[Aquinas11]

What are your thoughts, as Catholics, on this insight?

It’s just rephrasing the concept of tough love where you care about someone enough to level with them, to have the awkward conversation even though you know it will be uncomfortable because you’re devotion to them is more important than avoiding temporary discomfort. Good example is a mother telling her son she’s worried that he has a drinking problem and telling him if he doesn’t stop he will have to find somewhere else to live because she won’t help him kill himself

Do you feel like the church lives up to this as a whole?

No because the Church largely has avoided “hot topics” which are the real “wolves” that threaten its flock. And more wolves now than ever. Few Churches or Priests will tackle those head on in a homily. I won’t go into specifics as don’t want to derail the thread

 

[Daisy]

I guess I’m thinking of self-sacrifice, such as the crucifixion, too. Holding the beloved accountable doesn’t cover the entire definition of what love is. ‘Harsh and dreadful is an aspect of love. Marriage has its delights, but I do believe it has a commitment that requires tremendous self-sacrifice. Would I term this as ‘dreadful’ myself lol? No. But a person who loves must be ready to take “dreadful” on, if need be. Often, it need be.

 

[Limoncello4021]

This is one of the most well known and often quoted lines from The Brothers Karamazov, best understood by the full quote and its position in the novel.

“Love in action is a harsh and dreadful thing compared to love in dreams.”

Yes, it is.

 

[SPBlitz]

Reminds me of a quote from A Grief Observed:
“The terrible thing is that a perfectly good God is in this matter hardly less formidable than a Cosmic Sadist. The more we believe that God hurts only to heal, the less we can believe that there is any use in begging for tenderness…suppose that what you are up against is a surgeon whose intentions are wholly good. The kinder and more conscientious he is, the more inexorably he will go on cutting.”