Bearing the Cross

[AlanFromWichita]

There is a difference between the kind of suffering I do when I grieve the loss of a family member, or endure physical injury, and the kind of suffering that is self-induced. That is, suffering of the ego.

Jesus said He came so we could live in abundance. The way to that abundance is by having a spirit of poverty. If we do that right, everything we have is a gift and is a benefit. The ego becomes a drama queen because somebody forgot to say “thank you,” and it thought it deserved thanks. I’d even say most of the “suffering” I hear about from people on a day to day basis is of that kind. I was late for work. A person cut me off in traffic. There was a hair in my sandwich. (Thank God you have a sandwich.) They used my coworker’s plan instead of my own superior one. A politician said something that angers me. My text messaging isn’t working right. … Basically somebody or something hurts my poor widdle pride and that simply won’t do in my fairy tale land.

So to complement pride, we have fear, also of an ego and a soul that doesn’t trust. We suffer because we fear what will happen tomorrow. We fear what somebody will say about something we did yesterday. We fear that if someone finds out we are fearful they will take advantage of us. We fear things we’ll never even encounter. We suffer this way too, and it’s all nonsense.

These “sufferings” are self-inflicted wounds by a sinful soul. He came to set us free from this mode of “suffering.” If only we follow His commands we can be transformed in such a way our mind doesn’t hurt itself like that over (unimportant) things it can’t control but thinks it wants to.

I don’t see any evidence Jesus ever did that kind of suffering. In fact, if we listen to Him we will learn how to mature beyond those types of problems – therefore His Truth can set us free from all that. It isn’t like it was all sunshine and roses, of course; He did grieve when His friend died, and obviously in anticipation of a horrible fate, so I consider those types of sufferings to be natural response and not a product of a sinful ego. These types of mental sufferings build us up, and give us union with Jesus, as long as our egos don’t get hold of them and turn them into drama (e.g. “pity me”), because when that happens IMO it negates benefits from suffering and makes us even worse than before. If our egos make it through one “honest” suffering, it’s probably just going to require an even greater suffering, if our “honest” suffering are going to be what finally breaks our ego of the mentally contrived ones.

Alan

 

[Lady_Love]

All I know is that I am tired. It is too much. It is nothing compared to what He gave, this I know. I do not think that this is my Cross, but I do not know and probably never will. It does not matter in that whatever it is, I am not up to it. Do not know how to reconcile that.

If your suffering is “too much” maybe it is because you are suffering alone, what I mean is, your pride won’t ask for help. Even then, when you ask for help, you have to open yourself up to receiving it.

I was suffering terribly, I literally preferred to die than to face the pain. I begged the Lord for help, I accused Him of not caring, that I could cry to Him all the day long with nothing. I accused Him of being dis-compassionate leaving me in such misery. I was losing hope when I heard Him say to me, “Let Me do it.”

He heard my cry and He was trying to help me but I was refusing. My mouth was saying “help” but my actions were saying, “leave me alone.” Three times He said, “Let Me do it.” As I became aware of my stubbornness I made a conscious decision to accept help wherever and whenever it came my way. Immediately, a man came and offered me help. He did my work for me, he cooked and fed me, he came whenever I called and sometimes when I didn’t, he helped me move from an unhealthy living situation, he lifted my spirits with his smile, he eased my loneliness, he attended my every whim. When I opened myself to receiving help, the help came like a tidal wave. I barely had to do a thing for myself. God showed me that He wants nothing more than to carry me whenever I get tired, He WANTS to be my hero.

 

[fred_conty]

Some people do not handle it, however. And in many different ways. Some, unfortunately, choose to end their suffering hastily, which I am sure saddens Him. No?

I can only answer that question, namely, how to deal with extrodinary horrific events in our lives, by giving you what I have found to help me the most. And we all have had them to one degree or another.

First, use faith, use trust, in Jesus. Tho I don’t understand why, I only know that Jesus has a plan and know that he is right. I swallow my pride and my hurt and tell him I love him and trust him no matter what.

Second, I tell myself, no pity parties for there is no time for this nor is it worth the energy. To give into this is all down hill and a waste.

Third, I know that others have had to go thru this and even worse times. And why would I think I am the exception?

This may sound harsh, but I don’t know of any other way to handle this except firmly from the very beginning.

And in time, things do get better and memories fade. And like the story of Job, sometimes things get better than before.

“Jesus I trust in you.”

 

[cheezey]

Am not exactly answering, but just equally confused. I believe Jesus came into this world and died for our sins. I don’t think he wants us to suffer that why some where in the Bible it says we should turn to him we who are heavy laden,his york is lighter; some thing like that (am not good at quoting the Bible). However, one priest once told us not to fear suffering, he said suffering could imply that we are helping Jesus with the cross. But honestly! sometime it is too much and instead seems like a punishment.

Thank you.
The Bible quote in question is from Matthew 11:

25 At that time Jesus said, "I praise you, Father, Lord of heaven and earth, because you have hidden these things from the people who are wise and smart. But you have shown them to those who are like little children.
26 Yes, Father, this is what you really wanted.
27 "My Father has given me all things. No one knows the Son, except the Father. And no one knows the Father, except the Son and those whom the Son chooses to tell.
28 "Come to me, all of you who are tired and have heavy loads, and I will give you rest.
29 Accept my teachings and learn from me, because I am gentle and humble in spirit, and you will find rest for your lives.
30 The teaching that I ask you to accept is easy; the load I give you to carry is light."

Blessings

 

[cheezey]

I am not an apologist but this is what I think. Jesus does say take up your cross and follow me. I don’t for one moment think he meant diseases and such. If we concentrate on the new testament there are many many places that let us know what Gods will for us is. Jesus himself said that he came so that you may have life and have it more abundantly. He wants us to have divine health and abundant finances.

Anyone who stands out from the norm and lives a holy life will be targeted by those ruled by evil. I believe this is the cross we should take up and is the cross he’s talking about. Jesus was perfect he didn’t have any diseases yet he took up the cross pressed upon him by evil. They will and do come against us and make our life very difficult at times and after we worry and fret about it we have to remember to trust in God and give Jesus our stress, worry and anxiety. The peace of the Holy Spirit is there for us if we just allow it dominion inside us.

Jesus wants us to go out and lay hands on the sick and they will be healed. Sickness robbs us of life. That’s the devils job. To cheat and steal and kill. That’s not Gods WILL for us.

However, having said that. God in his glory can make any situation work for himself. He will bring good out of any sickness accident or injury in some way shape or form. Although most times we would have no idea what or to whom it happens.

Justin.

Thank you.
I do trust in Him and His choices for me. I give Him my stress, my many fears, and certainly my worries. Meanwhile, my life is staring me in the face and it isn’t pretty. I am
Thank you for your response.

Blessings

 

[cheezey]

A quote from St. Padre Pio, a victim soul, from the letters he wrote:

“I am afraid I shall bleed to death if the Lord does not hear my heartfelt supplication to relieve me of this condition [his stigmata]”

For Padre Pio, it was perfectly acceptable to both offer up your suffering, while at the same time praying for relief from that very same suffering.

May God bless you and heal you.

Thank you so much.
“If this is your will, grant me strength through Your Love, for I am weak. If this is not your will, grant me Your mercy and relief through Your Love, for I am tired.”
This is my Prayer.

 

[cheezey]

The cross Jesus is talking about is our normal everyday problems we deal with. Each person has a life with particular troubles and setbacks. Some do poor in school, work, finance, memory, family, faith, health. That is the cross we have, the weaknesses we struggle with.

I do not know enough people and this really hurts me.
I cannot help people as I used to, and this hurts me greatly.

There is no cross given to us that that we cannot bear. When we are sent a cross, no matter how severe, we are also sent the graces to bear it, but we must also ask for those graces. All suffering we accept patiently, when in the state of grace, can be offered up to make reparation for our sins, and shorten our time in purgatory. It can also help us to grow in virtue if we use it properly. The best way to do this is by making a Morning Offering every morning offering up all our good works, joys, sufferings, etc for reparation for our sins, the sins of others, some special intention, etc.

Ideally we’re supposed to grow in a love for suffering, not for the sake of suffering, but in that it helps to conform us to Christ and to sanctify ourselves. St. Theresa of Avila said that those who do not have the spirit for suffering can renounce sanctity because they will never reach it. There are different degrees to advance in overcoming the horror of suffering.: acceptance of duties, voluntary mortification, preferring suffering to pleasure, and offering oneself as a victim.

Aside from Christ, there is one exception to suffering and it’s relationship to sin. The Virgin Mary suffered more than anyone else, and did so in silence, despite having never committing a sin and being conceived immaculately without the effect of original sin. We have no right to complain about suffering after what she suffered.

But in our weakness, we do. And could the words of St. Theresa of Avila be explained? It sounds as if my genuine inabilities are being counted against me. That cannot be right.

As would I. But the suffering here is now and felt immensely. Only by experiencing Hell can we know the difference. Not that I am suggesting!!! I am just pointing out that, yes, of course it could be worse, to say the least! But without that comparison, some burdens are just seemingly unbearable. **Is it possible that some of these burdens are not those of the Cross? **

The hurting do not wish to renounce sanctity necessarily. There are those without the spirit of suffering who still wish to serve Him, but are tapped of strength to do so. Is this not when He would carry them? They may pray and pray and do all they need to do; acceptance of duties, voluntary mortification, preferring suffering to pleasure, and offering oneself as a victim. Don’t we need to be carried at times?

…we just want to be carried sometimes. It doesn’t mean we won’t offer our sufferings ever again.

…there are so many overwhelmingly burdened people who are trying and trying and trying and for whom it is just sad. And those who are tired and just need a break, to gather some strength, and offer again…

We shouldn’t bear the Cross alone.
God wants us to bear the Cross so that we can be near Him…it’s a form of communion.

Then He and I are very close, indeed.

When you’re “tired all the time”…use those moments to talk with God, you Father, tenderly.

Complain to Him as a son or daughter might. It’s ok to complain to God, now and then as a child might.

God wants you to USE your tiredness to get closer to Him!! Isn’t that amazing and wonderful.

Yes! It is! Oh, this I do every time I talk and He listens.
I just wonder what He really thinks of all this… Thank you for your response

God knows our strengths better than we do. He wouldn’t give us suffering if he didn’t know we could handle it. As one priest said, God chastises those he loves the most (which is why he has so few friends, as St Teresa of Avile said).

Well, then, I am handling it in that I am still getting up in the morning. But to what if I am as perplexed, troubled, and paralyzed with fear and confusion?

Suffering for the sake of justice, suffering that results from relieving the burden of another, suffering that is redemptive, suffering that results from living the truth, these are a few examples of the sufferings we must endure with joy.

Be clear of this, God does not delight in our suffering, he delights in our virtue. When Jesus came He came to deliver us from sin and ALL ITS EFFECTS. He showed this through His healings. One disciple said to Jesus, “If you will it, I can be healed.” Jesus said, “I will it.”

How I pray He would will this. I am otherwise useless to Him; not that He needs my Help per se, but His other kids could use a hand, just as I could use a hand.

…Jesus is never lacking in power so we can abundantly draw from Him. We can take as much as we need from His infinite source…
The cross we bear is that of charity. The burden is sweet.

Amen to that.

 

[cheezey]

continued…

Luke 11;13
“Therefore, if you, evil as you are, kow how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your heavenly Father give the Good Spirit to those who ask him.”

Ask with trust in his words, truth itself, Jesus. Just tell him that he is truth and would not lie to you, and that you are trusting in his words to have the Good Spirit to help you in your hour of need. If you really rely on his words and without a doubt trust in his words, he will do it for you, send you the Good Spirit. Say this and know with certainty that he will will make it happen. That is the answer. The reason you will find your answer is because he said so, he will give you the Good Spirit if you ask because he is a good Father.

Be at peace.

Thank you. I am just wondering how to tell the difference between the Holy Spirit and the very human emotions that come from a valentiune-shaped heart.

If your suffering is “too much” maybe it is because you are suffering alone, what I mean is, your pride won’t ask for help. Even then, when you ask for help, you have to open yourself up to receiving it.

I was suffering terribly, I literally preferred to die than to face the pain. I begged the Lord for help, I accused Him of not caring, that I could cry to Him all the day long with nothing. I accused Him of being dis-compassionate leaving me in such misery. I was losing hope when I heard Him say to me, “Let Me do it.”

He heard my cry and He was trying to help me but I was refusing. My mouth was saying “help” but my actions were saying, “leave me alone.” Three times He said, “Let Me do it.” As I became aware of my stubbornness I made a conscious decision to accept help wherever and whenever it came my way. Immediately, a man came and offered me help. He did my work for me, he cooked and fed me, he came whenever I called and sometimes when I didn’t, he helped me move from an unhealthy living situation, he lifted my spirits with his smile, he eased my loneliness, he attended my every whim. When I opened myself to receiving help, the help came like a tidal wave. I barely had to do a thing for myself. God showed me that He wants nothing more than to carry me whenever I get tired, He WANTS to be my hero.

I am certainly glad for you. Truly. I am asking and praying and praying and asking for help. I have no shame in that department. I am just meeting up with so many roadblocks, it is staggering. And not helping my already challenged heart. I feel isolated as a result. Like the last kid picked for a soft ball team except I not being chosen at all; I am benched. He has never NOT been my Hero. My goodness, look what He did for us!! But I do pray to Him to send a human angel; one who can say, “Let me help you out of this mess. We can do it together.”

I can only answer that question, namely, how to deal with extrodinary horrific events in our lives, by giving you what I have found to help me the most. And we all have had them to one degree or another.

First, use faith, use trust, in Jesus. Tho I don’t understand why, I only know that Jesus has a plan and know that he is right. I swallow my pride and my hurt and tell him I love him and trust him no matter what.

Second, I tell myself, no pity parties for there is no time for this nor is it worth the energy. To give into this is all down hill and a waste.

Third, I know that others have had to go thru this and even worse times. And why would I think I am the exception?

This may sound harsh, but I don’t know of any other way to handle this except firmly from the very beginning.

And in time, things do get better and memories fade. And like the story of Job, sometimes things get better than before.

“Jesus I trust in you.”

Thank you. I do trust Him. I do. I trust that all shall be well eventually. My fears are limiting me and I hate it.

Bearing your cross mean bearing your cross. We all have different crosses to bear. If Jesus did not want you to bear it, he would relieve you from it.

2 Corinthians 12:7-9 And lest I should be exalted above measure by the abundance of the revelations, a thorn in the flesh was given to me, a messenger of Satan to buffet me, lest I be exalted above measure. Concerning this thing I pleaded with the Lord three times that it might depart from me. And He said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore most gladly I will rather boast in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me.

If Jesus did not want me to bear it, he would relieve me from it. His grace is indeed sufficient.
And strength will be made perfect in weakness. I understand this theologically and intellectually. I cannot think of anyone greater for whom I would bear this burden.
For some reason, emotionally, I am at a depth that is unrecognizable. And it seems that when I weep from this depth, He weeps, too. Would He weep at that which is meant to be my cross? Whether it came from Him or otherwise? Can there not be a point where He would say, You have suffered enough. I wll carry You. I love you. I will carry you."
My life is painful. I am not happy saying that, knowing Who gave it to me, though I know He understands me. I ask Him to bend down an ear, though I do not really need to ask that of Him, now do I?! He is always there, ready and willing. I just don’t know if I am hearing Him right. I really do not know.
I apoligize for the length/typos. I am tired.
Thank you to everyone.
Many blessings for all.

 

[Lief_Erikson]

You have a beautiful heart, cheezey; that is very visible in your posts. I believe the Lord will relieve you of your burden. The Resurrection will follow the Cross, when we are faithful, as you are being faithful. I believe this terrible cross you are suffering from has already helped you to draw close to God.

When in the midst of the pain, we have to simply keep trudging on. Like Jesus. And keep praying, and offering up all the hurts for the conversion of souls, or whatever else the Lord places on our hearts.

St. Bernadette once reminded a suffering invalid, “We have to suffer much to enter the Kingdom of Heaven,” quoting the Book of Acts.

The Lord also sometimes desires particular glory for a certain soul, or to prepare it for some special mission in this life, so he gives that soul extra trials in order to prepare it. Yes, Jesus weeps with you. Of course He does, He loves you so much. At the same time, He also knows what He is doing. What He is preparing you for, what good He is bringing to people through this pain, and what your destiny and the destiny of those you are helping shall be. So He has the whole vantage point, and He will suffer with you, bearing it all with you, until He sees the purpose completed.

Jesus bless you and watch over you, and may God’s angels surround you, encourage you and strengthen you. May our Lady give you guidance and watch over you with her tender love.

 

[cheezey]

Lief Erikson:

:bighanky: