Becoming a Deacon, Wife had tubal ligation

[Donald_S]

My wife and I are baptized Christians (Protestant) and about halfway through RCIA. I’ve been a Christian for 15 years and I’ve always felt called to ministry of some form. I’ve never felt worthy enough and the churches I’ve went to unfortunately had scandal issues before I could really get rooted (one pastor had an affair and was fired, another left to try and open a casino in Vegas, another was so toxic the church doesn’t even exist anymore). I know it’s early, but I’m looking into the deaconate (I’m 35). I’m reading in some diocesan sites (my diocesan site doesn’t list anything about requirements) that a deacon candidate cannot have a wife who underwent tubal ligation. My wife had one (not exactly a tubal, used clips, but similar procedure) after our fourth child, but we were not Catholic at the time. Would this still prevent me from being able to become a deacon down the road?

 

[Angel_Bradford]

You would really need to address that with the Office of the Permanent Diaconate with your diocese.

 

[Cor_ad_Cor]

I was under the impression most dioceses didn’t have any requirements of the wife other than her willingness to permit her husband’s ordination, but it can vary diocese to diocese; your only real concern, I suppose, would be your own - and if the website doesn’t say, you may have to inquire by other methods.

That said, most dioceses do require you to be Catholic at least a couple of years first.

 

[Vico]

My wife and I are baptized Christians (Protestant) and about halfway through RCIA. I’ve been a Christian for 15 years and I’ve always felt called to ministry of some form. I’ve never felt worthy enough and the churches I’ve went to unfortunately had scandal issues before I could really get rooted (one pastor had an affair and was fired, another left to try and open a casino in Vegas, another was so toxic the church doesn’t even exist anymore). I know it’s early, but I’m looking into the deaconate (I’m 35). I’m reading in some diocesan sites (my diocesan site doesn’t list anything about requirements) that a deacon candidate cannot have a wife who underwent tubal ligation. My wife had one (not exactly a tubal, used clips, but similar procedure) after our fourth child, but we were not Catholic at the time. Would this still prevent me from being able to become a deacon down the road?

CIC (Latin Canon Law)

Can. 1041 The following are irregular for receiving orders:
…
5/ a person who has mutilated himself or another gravely and maliciously or who has attempted suicide;
…
Can. 1043 If the Christian faithful are aware of impediments to sacred orders, they are obliged to reveal them to the ordinary or pastor before the ordination.
…
Can. 1047 §4. An ordinary is able to dispense from irregularities and impediments not reserved to the Holy See.

 

[Donald_S]

would be your own

I’m not 100% sure what you mean here. I have not had a vasectomy or any sterilization procedure done to me.

That said, most dioceses do require you to be Catholic at least a couple of years first.

True, I am not expecting to start the process right away. I just want to prepare myself now so the process is smoother when the time comes. While I am new to Catholicism, I am not new to Christianity, and my knowledge base is pretty good.

Can. 1043 If the Christian faithful are aware of impediments to sacred orders, they are obliged to reveal them to the ordinary or pastor before the ordination.

I would most certainly do so. It is not my desire to obtain any position within the church if it involves deception of any kind. Not a good foundation for ministry. That being said, it seems like these laws apply to the individual being ordained, not their spouse.

 

[Cor_ad_Cor]

I have not had a vasectomy or any sterilization procedure done to me.

I wasn’t implying you had; I just meant the diocese would (to my knowledge) be concerned with your suitability, and your wife’s circumstances shouldn’t come into play. However, that’s simply my presumption based on how things are done here.

 

[TheLittleLady]

Talk to your Formation director, however, I’d wager that both the spouse and the man in Diaconate formation have sinned in their pasts (and will sin again in the future). The important thing is to talk, maybe to a deacon you know!

I personally know a wonderful deacon who is married to a non-catholic minister in a denomination that ordains women. There are guidelines, then, there are personal situations.

Just to be prepared, I know men who have been required to wait until their children were older to enter formation, so, if you have young children at home, that may give you a delay.

 

[Donald_S]

Just to be prepared, I know men who have been required to wait until their children were older to enter formation, so, if you have young children at home, that may give you a delay.

We started having children early (Had first child at 20 years old, second at 21) so by the time I would be ordained my oldest child would be around 13 years old.

 

[TheLittleLady]

Each Diocese varies, but, with grade school kids at home the idea is they do not want you to be spread too thin.

 

[Vico]

…

I would most certainly do so. It is not my desire to obtain any position within the church if it involves deception of any kind. Not a good foundation for ministry. That being said, it seems like these laws apply to the individual being ordained, not their spouse.

Mainly I have read from Fr. Worth Diocese, that canon 1041.5 can mean self-mutilation including vasectomy, or tubal ligation of wife.

 

[Pitcairn17]

Donald_S:

…

I would most certainly do so. It is not my desire to obtain any position within the church if it involves deception of any kind. Not a good foundation for ministry. That being said, it seems like these laws apply to the individual being ordained, not their spouse.

Mainly I have read from Fr. Worth Diocese, that canon 1041.5 can mean self-mutilation including vasectomy, or tubal ligation of wife.

“Can?” But as noted, the wife doesn’t even have to be Catholic, nor - obviously - does she receive Orders.

 

[Donald_S]

Each Diocese varies, but, with grade school kids at home the idea is they do not want you to be spread too thin.

I’m more than happy to submit to that. I’m not looking to rush into it, it’s a big commitment. Just looking at the path ahead and preparing as best I can

 

[Donald_S]

I’ve sent an email to the Vocations director for my diocese (Wheeling-Charleston, WV) outlining what I’ve shared above. I’ll let everyone know what the response is if if/when I receive one.

 

[Vico]

Vico:

Donald_S:

…

I would most certainly do so. It is not my desire to obtain any position within the church if it involves deception of any kind. Not a good foundation for ministry. That being said, it seems like these laws apply to the individual being ordained, not their spouse.

Mainly I have read from Fr. Worth Diocese, that canon 1041.5 can mean self-mutilation including vasectomy, or tubal ligation of wife.

“Can?” But as noted, the wife doesn’t even have to be Catholic, nor - obviously - does she receive Orders.

It is “can” because, just like abortion, it applies when positively cooperated with.

 

[Donald_S]

Pitcairn17:

Vico:

Donald_S:

…

I would most certainly do so. It is not my desire to obtain any position within the church if it involves deception of any kind. Not a good foundation for ministry. That being said, it seems like these laws apply to the individual being ordained, not their spouse.

Mainly I have read from Fr. Worth Diocese, that canon 1041.5 can mean self-mutilation including vasectomy, or tubal ligation of wife.

“Can?” But as noted, the wife doesn’t even have to be Catholic, nor - obviously - does she receive Orders.

It is “can” because, just like abortion, it applies when positively cooperated with.

And at the time I was fully consenting and cooperating with the procedure. If that disqualifies me from becoming a deacon, I understand. Clergy are rightfully held to higher standards and I don’t have to become a deacon to serve and glorify God.

 

[maryjk]

Keep in mind that not all dioceses require this.

Our deacon has a child in grade school. And when he was ordained he had several. He has been a deacon for a while.

 

[Charybdis]

Yes, as for having young children. THat was not a problem in my diocese. Several of us had small children and in fact, three of us (including my wife) had a new child during formation!!

It is only the US that sees the diaconate as something for men to do once they retire from secular life. That should not be the case. In fact, we learned that the average age for deacons in other parts of the world is 42. Average age of deacons in the US? Something like 62!

Deacons can be a wonderful sign of service in the world especially when they have regular secular lives, jobs and young children. As long as you keep it in check, it should not be a problem.

Like someone else said, I also have 5 children and it was never a problem.

God Bless!