Becoming a Godfather--some problems

[Domnall]

Hi everyone, I hope someone here can offer me some insight or help into this matter.

First, the back story.–My uncle and “aunt” are going to have a baby due in December. They are not married, and have been cohabitating for a long while. They intend to have the baby baptized and it is the assumption that I will be the Godfather. I’m not sure, however, if they will really raise their child Catholic.

My question is this-should I accept this role as godfather? I know a priest can refuse a baptism if he believes the parents won’t raise the child Catholic. However, I am a practicing Catholic and thought this may be an opportunity to actually be a good godfather.

I don’t want to upset the family, but I want to do with is morally right. Can someone please give me advice.
Thank you

 

[stephe1987]

If they are cohabiting with no intention of marriage, then of course they aren’t going to raise their child Catholic or instill good Catholic values in their child. If they want their child baptized they should do it outside the Church. I’m wondering why they want their child baptized at all, considering they are living like atheists.

 

[Thoughtfulone]

Yes! This could be God’s way of ensuring that this child will have a good Catholic base regardless of the choices of the parents. Accept with love and humility and do your best.
It is a great responsibility.

 

[Reuben_J]

Hi everyone, I hope someone here can offer me some insight or help into this matter.

First, the back story.–My uncle and “aunt” are going to have a baby due in December. They are not married, and have been cohabitating for a long while. They intend to have the baby baptized and it is the assumption that I will be the Godfather. I’m not sure, however, if they will really raise their child Catholic.

My question is this-should I accept this role as godfather? I know a priest can refuse a baptism if he believes the parents won’t raise the child Catholic. However, I am a practicing Catholic and thought this may be an opportunity to actually be a good godfather.

I don’t want to upset the family, but I want to do with is morally right. Can someone please give me advice.
Thank you

Hi. Technically anyone can be baptized. The grace of God is free for all. However there is some regulations regarding what to do before Baptism. In the case of infant Baptism there must be a clear assurance that this baby will be brought up in and to learn the Catholic faith. Thus your uncle and aunt should consider revalidating their marriage in the Church. You didn’t mention whether they are Catholic or not but I suppose they are. If they are not Catholics then I cannot see any reason that a baby should be baptized. The Church won’t baptize it anyway. It should wait until it is old enough.

Maybe this is an opportune moment for you to play a part in bringing them back to the Lord. Get their marriage in order first. The fact that they want the baby to be baptized is a good indicator that they see the need for religious acceptance in the church. They might be embarrassed about their marriage situation. This should not be a problem. Get an appointment with a priest to sort it out.

 

[Domnall]

Thanks for the advice everyone.

Yes, they are both Catholic. However, they are not married.
As far as the reason for Baptism–because it’s what everyone does in this family. Sadly, my family for the most part does not practice their faith, but they see things like baptism as super important for some reason.

So, I’ll wait for more responses, pray, talk to my parents about it and come up with a decision.

 

[Trishie]

The person you most need to consult is the priest they intend to ask to baptize their child.
He is the litmus test to your question. Will he agree to baptize? If he is…this may be the only opportunity this child will be baptized. At least this give the possibility of the child more easily choosing to live the faith in years to come.

vatican.va/archive/ENG1104/__P2X.HTM

Canon Law Can. 868 §1. For an infant to be baptized licitly:

1/ the parents or at least one of them or the person who legitimately takes their place must consent;

2/ there must be a founded hope that the infant will be brought up in the Catholic religion; if such hope is altogether lacking, the baptism is to be delayed according to the prescripts of particular law after the parents have been advised about the reason.

Just for possible interest
catholicdoors.com/courses/godpar.htm

scborromeo.org/ccc/p2s2c1a1.htm

 

[Domnall]

That is a very good question. The baby isn’t due for another month. However, I’ll be seeing the both of them at Thanksgiving, so I may get some answers then. I just want to have something prepared for when I speak to them.

 

[Trishie]

Domnall, I added more to the post that may be of possible interest or help.

God bless you.

God grant that your witness to this child and the parents will bear great fruit.

 

[Joe_Kelley]

In a similar situation a priest counseled the proposed godparent to take the position. He said it would put them in the best position to be a Catholic influence to the child.

 

[joandarc2008]

If they are cohabiting with no intention of marriage, then of course they aren’t going to raise their child Catholic or instill good Catholic values in their child. If they want their child baptized they should do it outside the Church. I’m wondering why they want their child baptized at all, considering they are living like atheists.

While I don’t agree with cohabitating I also do not agree with getting married if they are not sure if they can enter into a permanent lasting marriage that is faithful and open to life. That is none of our business. That being said - I think the best thing for you to do if you are sure that the assumption is that you are going to be the Godfather is to sit both parents down and have a talk about baptismal promises and raising the child as a Catholic. IF they are unwilling or unable to take this child to mass and CCD - are you? If you are not than this is probably not a position you should be in.