Becoming Catholic

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BuckeyeFan

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I have been dating my boyfriend for over two years and we have talked seriously about marriage and I can’t wait to spend the rest of my life with him…but things have changed lately. He was raised Baptist and in the past 8 months after studying and doing research has decided that he wants to become Catholic. I was raised Jewish until I was 13 and then when my parents got divorced I started going to a Baptist church. I really like going to a baptist church and my boyfriend and I attend reguarly. He has always said that he wants me to become a christian and join the baptist church and now he wants me to become Catholic. Religion is somthing that is a personal choice and I don’t know if I want to join the catholic church, I was very close to making that commitment to the baptist when he sprung this news on me. Know I don’t know what to do…he has totally changed and is all about becoming catholic and that is all he talks about and just assumes that I will join along. I don’t know how to talk to him about it and I am afraid that he will be angry if I don’t want to be catholic. Any advice is welcome and appreciated…please help!!
 
As a Baptist turned Catholic, I’d say “Come on in, the water’s fine.” I just wonder though, what do you know about Christianity? Where are you on your journey? I think you are right though, that it is a personal journey. While you shouldn’t become Catholic just because he is, you might be sensing in him his role of spiritual leader. If you and he become husband and wife, that is indeed what he would be.

Why don’t you consider taking RCIA classes together? That might give you a clearer idea if the Catholic faith is right for you.
You might also want to check out the book Rome, Sweet Home by Scott and Kimberly Hahn. It talks about their effort to discover the truth, with him finding the Catholic Church, and her feeling left out and confused. It covers a lot of the basic reasons why each of the Hahn’s discovered the Catholic Church to be the truth, and also gives a lot of good advice for couples who are on not on the same page at the same time in their faith journey.
 
Why don’t you call the Catholic Answers apostolate and speak with Rosalind Moss? She was Jewish, then Pentecostal, and is now a vibrant Catholic. I think she could be a great help to you.

Peace,
Linda
 
BuckeyeFan said:
. . . Religion is somthing that is a personal choice and I don’t know if I want to join the catholic church, . . .!!
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It should definitely be a personal choice, and not to satisfy someone else. [It has been my experience that those who become Catholic simply to satisfy a spouse, or future spouse, are often unhappy with that choice.]

At this point you don’t have enough information to make that choice. I advise those coming into RCIA that they should not set out to become Catholic; they should seek the Truth. Of course it is my expectation, and hope, that Truth will lead them to become Catholic, but that has to be their unpressured choice in their own proper time.

Most RCIA programs start with an Inquiry period, in which one can seek information before making any commitment. One should feel free to remain in that phase until they have enough information to go forward into the Church, or to decide that it is not for them.

With my prayers for you in your journey. - Joe
 
You need to discern for yourself regarding religion.

You and your boyfriend should cool it until you both are more firm in your faith. Marriage needs to be founded on a unified faith and should not be taken lightly.
 
BuckeyeFan said:
I have been dating my boyfriend for over two years and we have talked seriously about marriage and I can’t wait to spend the rest of my life with him…but things have changed lately. He was raised Baptist and in the past 8 months after studying and doing research has decided that he wants to become Catholic. I was raised Jewish until I was 13 and then when my parents got divorced I started going to a Baptist church. I really like going to a baptist church and my boyfriend and I attend reguarly. He has always said that he wants me to become a christian and join the baptist church and now he wants me to become Catholic. Religion is somthing that is a personal choice and I don’t know if I want to join the catholic church, I was very close to making that commitment to the baptist when he sprung this news on me. Know I don’t know what to do…he has totally changed and is all about becoming catholic and that is all he talks about and just assumes that I will join along. I don’t know how to talk to him about it and I am afraid that he will be angry if I don’t want to be catholic. Any advice is welcome and appreciated…please help!!
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Wow! At least he sprung it before the wedding!

Here’s my word: Nobody WANTS to become Catholic. We do it because we believe it is true, because we discover that the Catholic Church is the Church Our Lord planted on this earth as his body by pouring out blood and water from his side on Calvary.

Want to become Catholic? I nearly croaked over it. But I had to do it when I discovered that it was true.

God love ya, Sugar! Just keep your eye on Jesus – it won’t hurt so much that way.
 
mercygate said:
Here’s my word: Nobody WANTS to become Catholic. We do it because we believe it is true, because we discover that the Catholic Church is the Church Our Lord planted on this earth as his body by pouring out blood and water from his side on Calvary.

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I felt the same way, it wasn’t something I wanted…it was TRUTH therefore I had no choice but to follow Jesus! But yes…learn about the faith first, because you have to be convinced yourself, too!

Anna x
 
I agree about going to an Inquiry class at a local parish, then maybe going to RCIA together. If you decide you aren’t ready, you don’t have to do it. I went through RCIA and several people dropped out altogether, and 1 waited another year. RCIA isn’t there to force you into it, it’s there to help you understand.

But yes, from my understanding the Catholic Church is the completion of Judaism. So if you still feel a bit close to your old Jewish ways, you may find Catholicism is very close to what you grew up with.
Was is Rosalind or her brother that said that? I can’t remember.

Go to a mass and see what you think.

BUT yes… it is a personal decision and only you can make that decision. If your boyfriend is truely seeking the TRUTH he won’t be made at you for not being ready for it.
 
AmberDale said:
I agree about going to an Inquiry class at a local parish, then maybe going to RCIA together. If you decide you aren’t ready, you don’t have to do it. I went through RCIA and several people dropped out altogether, and 1 waited another year. RCIA isn’t there to force you into it, it’s there to help you understand.

But yes, from my understanding the Catholic Church is the completion of Judaism. So if you still feel a bit close to your old Jewish ways, you may find Catholicism is very close to what you grew up with.
Was is Rosalind or her brother that said that? I can’t remember.

Go to a mass and see what you think.

BUT yes… it is a personal decision and only you can make that decision. If your boyfriend is truely seeking the TRUTH he won’t be made at you for not being ready for it.
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I have a young Jewish friend who became Catholic and took “Elijah” as her confirmation name! 👍
 
Actually, BuckeyeFan, I have the exact opposite problem. I am prayerfully considering converting to Catholicism. My boyfriend is a Pentecostal, and while not explicitly anti-Catholic, has been a bit dismissive, saying he doesn’t like the style of worship. (Never mind I’m not real big on speaking in tongues, or singing Praise & Worship songs for a half-hour to open the service.)

Don’t convert because you feel obligated to.
 
BuckeyeFan said:
Know I don’t know what to do…he has totally changed and is all about becoming catholic and that is all he talks about and just assumes that I will join along. I don’t know how to talk to him about it and I am afraid that he will be angry if I don’t want to be catholic. Any advice is welcome and appreciated…please help!!
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This part of your post really sprung out at me. He should under no circumstances try to pressure you into being Catholic. Real Conversion does not come about by this sort of manner.
There is a major communication problem if you are hesitant to bring this up to the person who you want to commit your life to. He, in turn, as someone who wants you has his bride should not act as if your faith and beliefs are just an accessory to his and can be changed just because his have changed.
You need to bring this up now.
It might help you to know that the Catholic Church does not want to have Converts to come into the Church for all reasons BUT the actual embracing of the teachings. It just doesn’t work that way.

I want to temper my warning with the suggestion that new converts can tend to be extremely excited and gung-ho about their new found faith. It might be hard for him to see outside of himself to see where you are in your faith. That’s why you really need to talk. Maybe get him the book When only one Converts, it might open his eyes a bit about what you might be going through.

There will be changes if he does become Catholic. When it comes to marriage, the non-Catholic spouse will need to allow the Catholic to be able to practice Catholicism fully. That means the whole kit and caboodle. From no artificial contraception to being able to teach his children his faith.

You really should know all of this and be able to speak with him seriously about how this will affect you and whether or not you want to enter into a marriage like this with him.

If you feel the need, you can talk to his priest. Let him know of your situation. The priest should be the first person to say that you should not enter into something you don’t fully believe in.

As a Catholic of course, I suggest for you to get to know your faith and beliefs, then get to know the Catholic Church’s teachings. That is the only way to make a true decision about this.
 
BuckeyeFan said:
…he has totally changed and is all about becoming catholic and that is all he talks about and just assumes that I will join along. I don’t know how to talk to him about it and I am afraid that he will be angry if I don’t want to be catholic. Any advice is welcome and appreciated…please help!!
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He might be angry, disappointed, whatever. Hopefully he’ll behave like a Christian. But this is definitely something you need to talk about and resolve before marriage. Religion, particularly the truth, is a great source of unity in marriage. It’s the foundation. But it can be a great source of division as well. You gotta deal with it before you say “I do”.
 
Let me also suggest that you keep the big picture in mind…TRUTH…THE WAY THINGS REALLY ARE. If there really is a God who revealed himself to us, if he really did back up his claims with miracles to strengthen our faith in him, if there really is a Church he established to guide us in this life, if there really is a heaven and a hell, etc…if this really is the way things are…it would be folly to ignore this reality. It’s the difference between living in the light and living in darkness.
 
Buckeye Fan,

I agree with reading “Rome, Sweet Rome”. It covers a lot of territory you may find very familiar. RCIA starts in the Fall around here, so you may have lots of time to read up on stuff.

Not to bore you with “my story,” but I met a wonderful Catholic woman that **Made Me **take her to Mass when we were out of town with friends. It was a very nice “service”. Not at all what I expected. To make a long story short, I continued to become a Catholic, but it wasn’t because of my interest in her. I did it because as I looked back, most of my best, positive relationships I had had were with Catholics! Maybe God was telling me something? Your journey must be yours, of course…

In fact… I might suggest that you go to Mass with your friend. You might want to try a few different parishes to get a feel. Trust me, even Catholics move around to find a community where they “feel at home.” Any Catholic friends to go with? Talk to?

As for your boyfriend’s changes, I can relate. Once some of us males “get it” we tend to dive in. My wife is still looking at me funny at some changes I’ve made lately. 😉

Let us know what you think or worry about. Thanks for coming here for information. These folks shoot straight, I promise!
 
Thank you so much for all of the advice, you have all been a huge help to me. I went to the book store today and picked up Rome, Sweet Home. I hope it will be of some help. I have also decided that I may look into taking RCIA classes with him in the fall to have a better understanding of everything, and a better perspective. This is such an important subject and I want to do all that I can to not only make our relationship stronger but support him in his decisions. I want to start the rest of our lives together on the same page and on the right foot, and if that means waiting then I am willing to do that. Growing up religion wasn’t that important just to say that we celebrated Hanukkah and that was about it. After my parents got divorced I was really drawn to the Baptist church and the support I got was overwhelming. maybe I will be led to follow catholicism and join the Catholic church, but no matter what I will always love my boyfriend and will support his choice whether it is to join the church or not

Thank you again for listening to me and giving advice!
 
Have you been to Mass at a Catholic church yet? It is pretty different than a church service at a Baptist church. I do think one thing some people have a hard time getting used to is that there are no crowds of people greeting you or asking you to join. Just don’t take that to mean that you’re not welcome.
 
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