Becoming too attached to material things

[Veronica97]

Last week I had our living room painted by professional painters. We love it. But then I decided to move a picture, and I had to fill in several holes and go over the spots with paint. My touch up job was not the greatest–I did a way larger area than I needed to-- and although my husband can’t tell, I can tell b/c the sheen is different in those places. I am just sick b/c everything looked so perfect before I started messing with it. The painters are coming back tomorrow to see if they can make the spots blend in better or tell me if the whole wall will have to be repainted. The problem is, I’ve worried about this for days. I do have OCD, and that’s part of it. I’ve also had these thoughts of, “What if Jesus asked you not to repaint the wall or fix it?” And then I thought, “But I don’t want to leave the wall that way.” And I began to question whether or not I could do that for Jesus. I even had these crazy thoughts of “What if my mom could be healed of cancer but I had to leave the wall that way in order for her to be healed?” or “What if my cat could be brought back to life but the room had to be the color it was before?” And I felt it would be difficult for me to deal with having the room the color it was before b/c I like the color it is now so much. I told my husband that I was wondering if I would be able to leave the the wall the way it is if Jesus asked me to, and he said, “If Jesus came here right now and told you not to fix the wall, I’m QUITE sure you would not.” I was glad to hear him say that, but I’ve been feeling lately that I’m too attached to decorating and to making my surroundings nice. I know there’s nothing intrinsically wrong with decorating (we are creative beings after all, made in the image of God), but the thoughts of this wall being messed up have been distracting me, even in prayer. I’ve been praying about this, even praying the rosary. I don’t think it would be sinful to have the wall fixed or repainted–I just wish I could quit thinking about it and put it into proper perspective. What can I do to help myself focus on what is important? In the two years since my reversion experience, I haven’t felt this way before. I’ve always been able to choose Jesus over money or anything really. But now I feel like Jesus is showing me that I’m still attached to material things.

 

[Vouthon]

Perhaps you should read some good spiritual literature (church approved of course)?

Here’s a link to one of the “classics” of Christian mysticism: “The Sparkling Stone” by Blessed Jan van Ruysbroeck:

saints.sqpn.com/the-sparkling-stone-by-blessed-jan-van-ruysbroek/

For more on Ruysbroeck: en.wikipedia.org/wiki/John_of_Ruysbroeck

His mystical treatise - written in Flemish during the 14th century - includes a significant discussion of “detachment” from material things that you may find useful.

"…Further, you must know that if this good man would become an inward and spiritual man, he needs must have three further things. The first is a heart unencumbered with images; the second is spiritual freedom in his desires, the third is the feeling of inward union with God.

Now let every one who thinks himself to be spiritual observe himself. He who would have a heart void of images may not possess anything with affection, nor may he cling to any one, or have intercourse with him with attachment of the will; for all intercourse and all affection which do not aim purely at the honour of God bring images into a man’s heart, since they are born, not of God, but of the flesh. And so if a man would become spiritual, he must forsake all fleshly lusts and loves and must cleave with longing and love to God alone, and thus possess Him. And through this, all imaginations and all inordinate love towards creatures are cast out. And this loving possession of God makes a man inwardly free from ungodly images; for God is a Spirit, of Whom no one can make to himself a true image. Certainly in this exercise a man should lay hold of good images to help him; such as the Passion of our Lord and all those things that may stir him to greater devotion. But in the possession of God, the man must sink down to that imageless Nudity which is God; and this is the first condition, and the foundation, of a spiritual life.

The second condition is inward freedom. Through this, the man should be able to raise himself towards God in all inward exercises, free from images and encumbrances; that is, in thanksgiving and praise, in worship, in devout prayer and fervent love, and in all those things that may be done by longing and love with the help of the grace of God and through inward zeal in all spiritual exercises.

Through this inward exercise, he reaches the third state; which is that he feels a spiritual union with God. Whosoever then has, in his inward exercise, an imageless and free ascent unto his God, and means nought else but the glory of God, must taste of the goodness of God; and he must feel from within a true union with God. And in this union, the inward and spiritual life is made perfect; for in this union, the desirous power is perpetually enticed anew and stirred to new inward activity. And by each act, the spirit rises upwards to a new union. And so activity and union perpetually renew themselves; and this perpetual renewal in activity and in union is a spiritual life. And so you are now able to see how a man becomes good through the moral virtues and an upright intention; and how he may become spiritual through the inward virtues and union with God…"

***- Blessed John of Ruysbroeck (1293 – 1381), The Sparkling Stone ***

 

[vincent10395]

Last week I had our living room painted by professional painters. We love it. But then I decided to move a picture, and I had to fill in several holes and go over the spots with paint. My touch up job was not the greatest–I did a way larger area than I needed to-- and although my husband can’t tell, I can tell b/c the sheen is different in those places. I am just sick b/c everything looked so perfect before I started messing with it. The painters are coming back tomorrow to see if they can make the spots blend in better or tell me if the whole wall will have to be repainted. The problem is, I’ve worried about this for days. I do have OCD, and that’s part of it. I’ve also had these thoughts of, “What if Jesus asked you not to repaint the wall or fix it?” And then I thought, “But I don’t want to leave the wall that way.” And I began to question whether or not I could do that for Jesus. I even had these crazy thoughts of “What if my mom could be healed of cancer but I had to leave the wall that way in order for her to be healed?” or “What if my cat could be brought back to life but the room had to be the color it was before?” And I felt it would be difficult for me to deal with having the room the color it was before b/c I like the color it is now so much. I told my husband that I was wondering if I would be able to leave the the wall the way it is if Jesus asked me to, and he said, “If Jesus came here right now and told you not to fix the wall, I’m QUITE sure you would not.” I was glad to hear him say that, but I’ve been feeling lately that I’m too attached to decorating and to making my surroundings nice. I know there’s nothing intrinsically wrong with decorating (we are creative beings after all, made in the image of God), but the thoughts of this wall being messed up have been distracting me, even in prayer. I’ve been praying about this, even praying the rosary. I don’t think it would be sinful to have the wall fixed or repainted–I just wish I could quit thinking about it and put it into proper perspective. What can I do to help myself focus on what is important? In the two years since my reversion experience, I haven’t felt this way before. I’ve always been able to choose Jesus over money or anything really. But now I feel like Jesus is showing me that I’m still attached to material things.

There is nothing wrong with wanting to fix this problem on your wall, but worrying too much about might be problematic. What I would do to eliminate the thoughts about the wall, is trying to think how small it is. What I mean is thinking about the wall in the big picture. How meaningless it is. Try finding something else to think about like how can I visit Jesus in the Blessed sacrament today? I know this is hard considering you have OCD, but Our Lord will be with you every step of the way. I will keep you in my prayers! God Bless you!

 

[Allegra]

I don’t have any real advice for this situation, except to say that I’m very sorry you can’t stop worrying about this and it’s making you uncomfortable. I can assure you that it isn’t a rational worry, but I suspect you already know that and that’s why you are posting. I will pray for you and I hope you are able to let it go and be happy with your wall.

 

[SuperLuigi]

Last week I had our living room painted by professional painters. We love it. But then I decided to move a picture, and I had to fill in several holes and go over the spots with paint. My touch up job was not the greatest–I did a way larger area than I needed to-- and although my husband can’t tell, I can tell b/c the sheen is different in those places. I am just sick b/c everything looked so perfect before I started messing with it. The painters are coming back tomorrow to see if they can make the spots blend in better or tell me if the whole wall will have to be repainted. The problem is, I’ve worried about this for days. I do have OCD, and that’s part of it. I’ve also had these thoughts of, “What if Jesus asked you not to repaint the wall or fix it?” And then I thought, “But I don’t want to leave the wall that way.” And I began to question whether or not I could do that for Jesus. I even had these crazy thoughts of “What if my mom could be healed of cancer but I had to leave the wall that way in order for her to be healed?” or “What if my cat could be brought back to life but the room had to be the color it was before?” And I felt it would be difficult for me to deal with having the room the color it was before b/c I like the color it is now so much. I told my husband that I was wondering if I would be able to leave the the wall the way it is if Jesus asked me to, and he said, “If Jesus came here right now and told you not to fix the wall, I’m QUITE sure you would not.” I was glad to hear him say that, but I’ve been feeling lately that I’m too attached to decorating and to making my surroundings nice. I know there’s nothing intrinsically wrong with decorating (we are creative beings after all, made in the image of God), but the thoughts of this wall being messed up have been distracting me, even in prayer. I’ve been praying about this, even praying the rosary. I don’t think it would be sinful to have the wall fixed or repainted–I just wish I could quit thinking about it and put it into proper perspective. What can I do to help myself focus on what is important? In the two years since my reversion experience, I haven’t felt this way before. I’ve always been able to choose Jesus over money or anything really. But now I feel like Jesus is showing me that I’m still attached to material things.

I think you need to find a spiritual director if you have OCD and have scruples.

No offense to the other posters, but don’t spend your time reading about this because your obsession may switch to finding information and you’ll just burn precious time on the internet and/or it will just feed your current obsession.

This kind of rigor is not what you should be spending time and energy on.

 

[fred_conty]

I can relate what you are going thru. My wife for years had the “what if” problem. And that is what it is, and not about anything else, Jesus included. She did resolve the problem after a time by doing just the opposite of “what if” said.

There are support groups for this, tho there weren’t at the time of my wife’s struggle with it. You might want to look into it.

I know what suffering this can be for you, and you have my deepest understanding.

But like I said, we did just the opposite.

So if you are having your wall painted after you had your “what if Jesus” thought, then you are doing the right thing. For that is the way it works best although it is hard to accept that.

May God bless and keep you. May God’s face shine on you. May God be kind to you and give you peace.

 

[Veronica97]

Thank you, all. I think the worst thing was being so worried over a few spots on the wall and not just giving my worries to Jesus. The painter looked at the wall today and except for an area which is underneath a painting, he said he can’t tell where I’ve touched up. Neither can my husband or probably anyone else. He did offer to repaint the wall for free since I’m giving him more work to do in my dining room soon. I would just have to buy a gallon of paint. I will think it over. I worried over nothing and Jesus took care of it all. I did pray this morning, “Thy will be done” before the painter came over. I just feel awful that I was so distracted and so afraid to let God’s Will be done.

 

[RoseMary131]

Dearest Veronica,

I’m sorry to hear your struggles with your OCD and your scrupulosity are so strong these days.

Please let your healthy professional know you are struggling extra hard this week, so you can get this under control.

God does not want you suffering so greatly.