Behavior in Mass

[CarpeDiem]

I am a new convert. I struggle with the behavior of some people in mass. IE - Leaving the church before the Priest, talking during the reading of the gospel, “draining” the cup of wine. This behavior totally baffles me. I tell myself it is not my concern but it distracts me from fully participating in the mass and staying focused. How do I overcome this obstacle?

 

[THurifer2]

I might be a parish thing. My parish has two masses on Sunday. We have a very liberal College in town (one of the nations leading lesbian studies programs) and our parish is basically divided into two parishes the conervative minded orthodox in practice Catholics such as myself go to the mid morning mass and the progressive liberal minded Catholics (many of the professors at the college) go to the late morning Mass. The two masses are very different in regards to music and reverence. THere is lots of talking as you have described at the Later mass.

Perhaps you could just change Mass times and it might make a world of difference.

I know it sounds strange but my parish family really gets along wonderfully together at parish functions. Its really quite interesting. There is no doubt everyone senses the differences in the two groups but at CCD and church activities and such we are one big family.

Oh by the way I am sure you know that it is not wine that they are draining.

 

[PhilotheaZ]

Unfortunately, we are not all perfect, and some people have not been well catechized, do not understand the importance of what is going on at the Mass, or allow worldly concerns to enter into this sacred space and time (thus the temptation to carry on unnecessary conversations, etc.).

Sometimes people have a legitimate reason to say something to a neighbor or leave early, so perhaps we shouldn’t judge any individual too harshly without knowing the details (although I admit this happens too often, and not always for good reasons).

I tell myself it is not my concern but it distracts me from fully participating in the mass and staying focused. How do I overcome this obstacle?

I too have had times when I had a hard time focusing on the Mass because I was focusing on others’ behavior. But then I realized that I was reacting just the way Satan would want me to — anything that distracts from the Mass pleases Satan, and I was playing into his hand.

When it happens, just try to bring yourself gently back to prayer: say a brief prayer for the offending person and then return to the Mass; or ask the Blessed Virgin Mary to accompany you as you pray the Mass (after all, she was at the foot of the Cross, and that is where we are when we are at Mass); or ask your guardian angel to remove the distractions until after Mass when you can address them if you need to.

God bless you, and welcome to the Catholic Church — a wonderful place to be even though it is full of imperfect sinners like me!

 

[CarpeDiem]

Oh my, thank you THurifer2. Yes, I do know it is not wine. That is so very real to me - I guess protestant “language” dies hard. Thanks for the feedback.

 

[KCT]

Arrive early and sit up front so you can’t see anyone in front of or behind you. When you return to your pew after Communion, bow your head in prayer so you don’t see other people.

Talking will always be a problem. Not sure you can do anything about that. —KCT

 

[SMHW]

I am a new convert. I struggle with the behavior of some people in mass. IE - Leaving the church before the Priest, talking during the reading of the gospel, “draining” the cup of wine. This behavior totally baffles me. I tell myself it is not my concern but it distracts me from fully participating in the mass and staying focused. How do I overcome this obstacle?

I know this answer sounds trite…Just stop struggling.
Do some people behave irreverently, improperly, and in a distracting manor? Yes. Should they? No. But we are merely human beings. Do you really want such people to stay away in order to enhance your experience of the Mass?

I remember reading an article in a magazine years ago. The author recounted how she was attending Mass at some resort location and she observed some other woman come in late, sloppily dressed, and with obviously disarrayed hair covered with a cheap scarf. At first she was highly offended that someone would come to Mass that way. Then she realized that this woman considered Mass attendance so important that she was willing to enter the space (I don’t remember if it was a chapel or just a room) when she was obviously not fully prepared.

Some of us have a lower threshold than others as far as distractions go. If that is the case, then it ought to be up to US to make sure we do what is necessary to overcome our weakness in that area. As others have mentioned, a different Mass or a different parish may be in order.

But rejoice thankfully that there are people who consider attendance at Mass to be so important.

 

[JezuUfamTobie]

When I find myself getting distracted or snarky inside about things I see around me at mass, I close my eyes. For example, when I’m visiting a parish at which I suspect people will hold hands during the Our Father (clearly against the rules in our diocese, not sure about elsewhere), I just close my eyes before we even begin praying, so I don’t even know whether they’re doing it or not.

Also, when people do something I can’t escape (like talking rudely behind me during the readings), I’ve found it useful to call to mind my sins and silly things I have done in ignorance before. It is easier to be compassionate and charitable when we remind ourselves that we’re no better than anybody else.

 

[I_Believe]

I’ve found that if I take time to prepare myself for the Mass, I seldom get distracted. I have my own missal and I read the readings for the day before I go to mass. I get there early, and I’m in deep prayer until the Mass begins. I usually have no trouble focusing on the Mass. Other than the sign of peace, I never look at anyone other than the priest(s), lector, and servers.

Crying babies ? It’s hard not to be distracted by them, but hey, I’m sure I cried too No biggie.

Sunday Mass is usually where the distractions are noticed, due to the larger number of folks attending. Thankfully, my parish has a 7am Mass Sunday. An older crowd, very devout and well behaved.

 

[Iowa_Mike]

I am a new convert. I struggle with the behavior of some people in mass. IE - Leaving the church before the Priest, talking during the reading of the gospel, “draining” the cup of wine. This behavior totally baffles me. I tell myself it is not my concern but it distracts me from fully participating in the mass and staying focused. How do I overcome this obstacle?

I’m not sure you should! Good for you that you are bothered by poor behavior, I think you should mention your concerns to your priest that suggest he build your concerns into a homily. I’ve been to plenty of Churches where the priest admonished the congregation because people were coming in late, leaving early, talking during mass, sleeping, playing, etc. Children are one thing but bad behavior by adults, teen, pre-teens, etc. shouldn’t be tolerated.

There is absolutely nothing wrong with your concerns…

Iowa Mike