Being a gracious guest

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I hope this is the place to begin a thread like this.

Are we called to be gracious guest when we are invited somewhere? I know we are supposed to be gracious hosts when asking people over or out to eat but what about when we are invited ourselves.
Say a priest asks you our for lunch as his treat as an acknowledgement of appreciation of something or somethings you have done. Should you graciously accept and not quibble about the check or should you not allow him to pay or argue with him about it.

Another situation, when invited to be a guest at somebody’s house would it be gracious to bring your own food or drinks instead of partaking of what is presented to you.

When Jesus went to Zachaeus’ house He ate what was presented and did not say “May I multiply some fish for you.” And when He sent out the 72 to preach to the Proclamation of the Kingdom He gave instruction to eat what was presented to you.

Seems we should be gracious guests as well as gracious hosts.

Your thoughts.
 
I think we should always try to be gracious, not just when in the position of being a host or a guest.
 
TARRAT said:
Should you graciously accept and not quibble about the check or should you not allow him to pay or argue with him about it.
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Yes, allow him to treat and “I will get the check next time!”
TARRAT said:
Another situation, when invited to be a guest at somebody’s house would it be gracious to bring your own food or drinks instead of partaking of what is presented to you.
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Only if you have a serious medical issue with which your host is unaware. The first thing, if someone who does not know you well enough to, say for example, that you have Celiac Sprue, say “you know I have Celiac Disease? I will be happy to bring my own food if you are not used to cooking gluten-free!”

To just show up with some chicken and Diet Coke because you are a super picky eater, that is rude.
 
I would say that if you have food allergies or sensitivities, the gracious thing to do is inform your host or hostess ahead of time, so he or she can prepare your meal separately, or offer items in the general menu that you are able to eat.

If a priest wants to treat you to lunch, let him. He is doing it in appreciation for your service. I wouldn’t quibble at all over the check. It might insult him.

Here’s something else guests need to keep in mind:

If you have kids and you bring them to somebody’s home who has invited you, PLEASE have the common courtesy to supervise your children and not let them run around amuck all over the place, handling everything they see without permission, and/or being excessively noisy and obnoxious. Please remind them that they are in another person’s home, and to respect the rules of the homeowners, and respect their property.

This is more than just common courtesy. If there are staircases in the home, and kids are allowed to run up and down them without any supervision, they can fall and hurt themselves. If they run around, willy-nilly, they can trip over things.

It’s also a matter of respecting privacy. A closed door to a room means exactly that. The room is off limits.

You’d be shocked to see how some children behave when guests in other people’s homes. Or gardens. When we were living in southern California, I had nice flowerbeds, and this one neighbor kid kept pulling the petals off of my flowers.

Parents need to be responsible when visiting others. I’ve had problems with parents in our home doing absolutely nothing to control their kids. It’s not the responsibility of the homeowner to make their guests’ kids behave.

This may sound harsh, but it’s only fair.
 
We should endeavor to follow the polite manners and customs of the place where we’re living.

If a priest wants to treat for lunch, then you could offer to pay but if he is really insistent on treating you, then let him do that. Priests in USA do earn a salary and they can do some limited treating for lunch and they might want to do that if the reason is to show appreciation to a staff member or good friend. I know sometimes when we are on pilgrimage with priests, the meals are all prepaid through the tour company but the priests sometimes offer to treat the group to wine or a beer with dinner, and we graciously accept.

When visiting someone’s house, you should normally plan to eat what they serve you, unless you have a strict medical diet for some reason like allergies or a physican-imposed diet plan, in which case you should let the host know beforehand that you need to bring your own food so he will not buy or prepare food that you can’t eat. Alternatively you could arrange to visit after the meal, so you could eat your own food at home and then spend time with your host just visiting or doing some social activity (dancing, watching a movie, playing a board game) that doesn’t revolve around food.

Jesus knew Zacchaeus, a relatively wealthy tax collector, could afford to prepare dinner for him and would want to do so. If Zacchaeus had been poor then I’m sure Our Lord would have taken care of providing whatever was needed for the meal.
 
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We were recently invited to a gala for Catholic Education because of our support for them. The tickets were $100/person and we didn’t feel comfortable having the parish pay for our tickets, even though they offered. We expressed our concern to the school principal, who gave us an address to send a check to. Everyone should be a gracious guest, but use common sense. In our case, the dinner was for awards and education about Catholic Education. We didn’t want to impose a cost on the program we are supporting.
 
That was a nice thing to do, since you could afford it.

I’m sure the parish wanted to make sure that invited people got to attend, even if they didn’t have the 100 dollars to spend.
 
Yes, I understand that. You’re in PA if I remember correctly. Did you know you can have your state income taxes directed to Catholic Education? It’s an awesome program!
 
I work in PA but I pay taxes in a different state where I legally reside, so not sure if they have such a program where I am actually paying. I’ll look into it.
 
In PA it’s called EITC for Earned Income Tax Credit. My state tax is going to offset tuition at the school in my parish. Managed by the Foundation for Catholic Education.
 
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Being a gracious and courteous guest also means arriving on time, or as close to it as possible.
 
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