Being chaste

[jordanc]

Hi, I’m a Catholic who, in my teens, drifted from the Church and her teachings (I am 21 now). I am happily in the process of reconnecting with the faith, but I need help. I am looking for advice on how to regain chastity with my girlfriend. We haven’t remained pure so far (nearing three years together), but that needs to change. Any ideas? (Any saints to ask? Prayers to pray? How to introduce her to the idea?) Any support will do as I found out quickly this is an area I am especially weak. Thanks so much!

 

[Epsilon_Omega]

I am not sure if I am quite qualified to answer, because I haven’t had a problem with being chaste with my girlfriend, but I have been told that praying the rosary and the Chaplet of Devine Mercy is a good start. I personally, love going to mass and usually that is enough to lessen my raging hormones. I also enjoy listening to praise and worship music and that usually gets me into the mood not to sin. I understand, though, that it is gonna be hard for you. Check out the 15 prayers given to St. Bridget. Those are very powerful and awesome. Is your girlfriend very religious? Take her to church and whatever religious things you can go to. I am only 18 and my girl is about 16, so we aren’t to the being “mature” point and probably never will. She isn’t catholic, but I take her to youth group and XLT (praise and worship music followed by adoration) all the time.
Many catholics forget about talking to their priests. Priests are trained for this (we can’t let them off too easy). When you guys get the urge to stop being chaste, distract yourselfs somehow. Take a walk, play monopoly. Watch the Passion of the Christ.
Maybe find a catholic buddy that you can call up when you feel week about it. It is very hard to stay chaste without the help of others.

Maybe get her a chastity belt Just kidding.

Good luck, dude. If you ever need to talk to anyone just Private Message me, I can try to help.
~Gabe

 

[birdsofdawn]

Hello!
There are a variety of resources for young Catholics struggling in this area! First and foremost, I think it would be most fruitful to spend some more time in prayer (perhaps a Hail Mary and reading and meditation on Scripture) and reflection on the purity and Christ’s love, which was a willingness to suffer for his beloved, all the way to the cross.
As a basic precaution, avoid being alone together. This is important enough for all Catholic couples, but you may need to be extra cautious, because your body chemistry is such that now it will feel even more natural to be close, touch, etc.
Remember that the real you is the saint you will be if you follow God’s call. The real you is never the sins you habituate yourself to.
Frequent the sacrament of reconciliation, and attend Mass more often if possible.
I personally love Mother Theresa a lot. She is very simple and real, and she probably lived with more integrity than anybody I will ever encounter in my life, and all of her life was about Jesus. Try reading No Greater Love, preferably if you can find it at a library, but it is worth the cost to buy as well.
‘Purity saints’ (all of them are!): Our Lady, St. Maria Goretti
, St. Therese de Lisieux, St. Augustine, St. Padre Pio…
pureloveclub.com/ has some good discussions, articles, and FAQs about purity.
This is a list of websites for battling impurity submitted by posters.

Good luck! Above all, remember that saints are people who picked themselves back up after sinning!

 

[jc-servant]

I would suggest reading “Christian Courtship in an Oversexed World” by Thomas Morrow (a Catholic priest who gives some straight forward advice regarding chastity, dating and marriage). You can get the book on amazon and various Catholic online stores. It is not that long of a read and it has lots of good advice on how to improve your life and maintain chastity while you are waiting to find your future spouse (if marriage is your vocation).