Being Positive

[domandcarols]

Thanks everyone for the advice. My problem is that I have both Major Depression and Borderline Personality Disorder. Well, the Borderline Personality Disorder causes my mood to fluctuate a lot. Sometimes it fluctuates pretty rapidly. I have trouble staying happy all the time and I get depressed very easily. I am on anti-depressants but lately they just don’t seem to be helping as much as they should.

I will be praying for you, sister.

 

[AlanFromWichita]

Depression is like cancer. Are you even bothering to fight it, or are you just using it as an excuse to be miserable?

Look, it’s nothing personal. I don’t know you. It’s not tough love, but maybe you’ve never heard anyone say this before- if you act like a drama queen blaming everything on mental issues, your going to stay miserable. If you CHOOSE to be happy, you’ll get there.

Pretty harsh words for the OP I think. First, you asked her whether she is “bothering” to fight it, when she’s already answered the quesion.

Second, there was not a lick of self-pity in the posts she wrote. You aren’t saying there are, but you seem to be so cautious about people using labels you must be thinking something you’re not telling us because the OP doesn’t warrant that tone IMO.

Have you ever been psychotic? I mean really bad? Have you been locked up against your will because people think you’re acting strangely? I’m curious what you know about mental illness to give the advice you gave.

Ultimately, I do agree that “choosing to be happy” is a GOOD thing.

Alan

 

[CompSciGuy]

While OwlPride might have read too much into Holly’s situation, he/she is right on the point that you mustn’t make depression an excuse for unhappiness, because this is a sure-fire way to never be happy when you’re dealing with depression and BPD. You can’t mope around and hope that the medication will make you better. The OP may or may not be doing that; there isn’t enough information here. People who are depressed tend to feed their depression with negative thinking and brood over failures, problems they see with themselves, worrying about the future, etc. because, with their low serotonin levels and their state of mind, they have a strong inclination to these thoughts and feelings. And over time it makes their depression worse. I know from experience. I had to discover eventually that things are never really as bad as I think they are, and the bad/good of a situation are purely a product of my attitude. Putting this philosophy into practice, I developed such a resilience that it is hard to get me down about anything anymore. And I had to do this without medication (because the side effects were very bizarre for me). With depression you have to be very proactive in your optimism.

 

[AlanFromWichita]

While OwlPride might have read too much into Holly’s situation, he/she is right on the point that you mustn’t make depression an excuse for unhappiness, because this is a sure-fire way to never be happy when you’re dealing with depression and BPD. You can’t mope around and hope that the medication will make you better. The OP may or may not be doing that; there isn’t enough information here.

Yes there is enough information here. The OP said she was on medication and is currently reviewing her situation to see if they are working. I’m curious how you missed that.

Also it is clear to anyone with an open heart that the OP is explaining, not making excuses. There’s a world of difference.

People who are depressed tend to feed their depression with negative thinking and brood over failures, problems they see with themselves, worrying about the future, etc. because, with their low serotonin levels and their state of mind, they have a strong inclination to these thoughts and feelings. And over time it makes their depression worse. I know from experience. I had to discover eventually that things are never really as bad as I think they are, and the bad/good of a situation are purely a product of my attitude. Putting this philosophy into practice, I developed such a resilience that it is hard to get me down about anything anymore. And I had to do this without medication (because the side effects were very bizarre for me). With depression you have to be very proactive in your optimism.

I’m glad you found a better place where you are not depressed any more. In some people’s cases it works that way – and I even agree it may work in more places if it were honestly tried.

But if you’re talking about serious, deep depression, many people are unable to pick themselves up out of it even with coaching in positive thinking. You should consider yourself very fortunate, and I’ll even give it that you were responsible for your part of it.

Alan

 

[CompSciGuy]

Yes there is enough information here. The OP said she was on medication and is currently reviewing her situation to see if they are working. I’m curious how you missed that.

Alan, I didn’t say that there wasn’t enough information to determine if she was getting help, I was saying that there isn’t enough information to confirm whether OwlPride was right in his accusations that Holly is being a “drama queen” or is keeping herself in a slump because of her thinking. I’m curious how you missed that.

Also it is clear to anyone with an open heart that the OP is explaining, not making excuses. There’s a world of difference.

I’m glad you found a better place where you are not depressed any more. In some people’s cases it works that way – and I even agree it may work in more places if it were honestly tried.

But if you’re talking about serious, deep depression, many people are unable to pick themselves up out of it even with coaching in positive thinking. You should consider yourself very fortunate, and I’ll even give it that you were responsible for your part of it.

Alan

Again, I am not making any accusations. I am merely stating the fact that, while medication is necessary for a lot of people. it is also not “all it takes.” A depressed person, even while on medication, has to be proactive about building positive reinforcements and targeting whatever it is that is causing the depression in the first place. The fact that the OP is posting about thinking positively definitely seems to suggest that the topic of optimistic thinking has come up from somewhere, perhaps in a therapy session, perhaps from elsewhere.

 

[AlanFromWichita]

Alan, I didn’t say that there wasn’t enough information to determine if she was getting help, I was saying that there isn’t enough information to confirm whether OwlPride was right in his accusations that Holly is being a “drama queen” or is keeping herself in a slump because of her thinking. I’m curious how you missed that.

I thought you questioned the OP on whether they were doing anything about it or just using it as an excuse. If you asked, it meant to me that you missed the evidence. If this isn’t the case, my apologies. It is not worth even one more scroll to research.

Again, I am not making any accusations. I am merely stating the fact that, while medication is necessary for a lot of people. it is also not “all it takes.” A depressed person, even while on medication, has to be proactive about building positive reinforcements and targeting whatever it is that is causing the depression in the first place. The fact that the OP is posting about thinking positively definitely seems to suggest that the topic of optimistic thinking has come up from somewhere, perhaps in a therapy session, perhaps from elsewhere.

 

[Owlpride]

Pretty harsh words for the OP I think. First, you asked her whether she is “bothering” to fight it, when she’s already answered the quesion.

Second, there was not a lick of self-pity in the posts she wrote. You aren’t saying there are, but you seem to be so cautious about people using labels you must be thinking something you’re not telling us because the OP doesn’t warrant that tone IMO.

Have you ever been psychotic? I mean really bad? Have you been locked up against your will because people think you’re acting strangely? I’m curious what you know about mental illness to give the advice you gave.

Ultimately, I do agree that “choosing to be happy” is a GOOD thing.

Alan

It’s simple Alan.

No, I’ve never been psychotic. Or locked up because I’ve been “acting strangely”. However, I was a sniveling, whiny, depsressed drama queen whom everybody hated-but guess what? NO ONE TOLD ME… They all patronized me with , “Oh, it’s okay, it’ll get better”. Or things like, “We’re all here for you”.

Eventually, I realized (and yes, over a long period of time) that what I was doing-posting on my Facebook about how bad my life is, and all these dramatic “problems” I was creating were giving people the impression that they thought I was a drama queen, attention seeking fruitcake. I snapped out of it quickly after when someone told me the blunt truth. It was my dad. I thank God he loved me enough to tell me that.

Now, I’m still depressed-but I take Wellubtrin, and I get out of my house and am quite busy with life. It works like a charm. I fight depression and make the choice to be happy.

 

[AlanFromWichita]

I snapped out of it quickly after when someone told me the blunt truth. It was my dad. I thank God he loved me enough to tell me that.

Thank you. I like to hear the direct truth. Like when I asked my son what people thought when they saw me coming. He said, “I guess I’m going to be here a while.” Wow, that was direct. I made it a point to make short conversation, like five seconds or less to those people, and soon they were not avoiding me anymore.

There really is so much we can do even within our limitations, but again one needs truth.

Now, I’m still depressed-but I take Wellubtrin, and I get out of my house and am quite busy with life. It works like a charm. I fight depression and make the choice to be happy.

Nice. Making the choice to be happy and being active goes a long way toward making the problem bearable, if not helping to fix it. I was taking Welbutrin for several years until just a few weeks ago.

Alan

 

[Owlpride]

Thank you. I like to hear the direct truth. Like when I asked my son what people thought when they saw me coming. He said, “I guess I’m going to be here a while.” Wow, that was direct. I made it a point to make short conversation, like five seconds or less to those people, and soon they were not avoiding me anymore.

There really is so much we can do even within our limitations, but again one needs truth.

Nice. Making the choice to be happy and being active goes a long way toward making the problem bearable, if not helping to fix it. I was taking Welbutrin for several years until just a few weeks ago.

Alan

Thanks. If the OP is even still paying attention the thread, I hope it’ll help them. You can complain about your many medical issues, or you can suck it up, be a grown up, and go out and enjoy life. No matter how bad you think you have it, you don’t have that bad.