Best way for teaching the 10 commandments to third graders

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Our parish gets Catechist magazine for us CCD teachers. There was a great idea about creating a “treasure box” of items for reinforcing the meaning behind the ten commandments that I would like to work on with the kids during Lent. My question is, how do you explain adultery to 8 and 9 year olds? I don’t want to do a lesson that totally glosses over some aspects of the commandments, but at the same time, I want to keep this age appropriate and phrase things in a way they can understand. Thanks!!
 
aurora77 said:
Our parish gets Catechist magazine for us CCD teachers. There was a great idea about creating a “treasure box” of items for reinforcing the meaning behind the ten commandments that I would like to work on with the kids during Lent. My question is, how do you explain adultery to 8 and 9 year olds? I don’t want to do a lesson that totally glosses over some aspects of the commandments, but at the same time, I want to keep this age appropriate and phrase things in a way they can understand. Thanks!!
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You can just say that these commandments are for married people to remember to love each other the best, and not to go with someone they are not married to. Those who have been exposed to teaching on sexuality will understand what you mean, and those who don’t will have enough of the idea that they won’t go and accuse themselves of adultery in the Confessional.
 
Not to change subjects, but I am interested in the name of the magazine.

And I agree… when teaching “adultery” to children, it is more appropriate to ask these questions, I think:

Do I show respect for the relationships I have? Am I true to my friends? Do I respect my parents’ marriage and their relationship?
 
A couple of weeks ago, we were going over the 10 Commandments in our fourth grade class. We “modernized” them.

Thou shall not kill

becomes

Don’t kill or Don’t hurt anyone.

Thou shall not commit adultery

becomes
**
Don’t cheat**.

If these children attend school, chances are, they know about families breaking up because someone had a girl/boyfriend. Chances are they know what cheating is in a marriage. And I am sure they know about cheating in school.
 
maryjk said:
A couple of weeks ago, we were going over the 10 Commandments in our fourth grade class. We “modernized” them.

Thou shall not kill

becomes

Don’t kill or Don’t hurt anyone.

Thou shall not commit adultery

becomes
**
Don’t cheat**.
Click to expand...
And then the priest doesn’t know what to make of it, when the kid confesses to committing adultery, when he goes to Confession. Do you mention to the priest that the kids think “adultery” means cheating on a test at school?
 
jmcrae said:
And then the priest doesn’t know what to make of it, when the kid confesses to committing adultery, when he goes to Confession. Do you mention to the priest that the kids think “adultery” means cheating on a test at school?
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No, but I also didn’t say that adultery is cheating on a test. :rolleyes: I said that adultery is cheating on a spouse, a sin, just as cheating on a test is a sin. I used cheating on a test to explain about cheating on a spouse. They don’t know the word adultery. They do know the word cheating. Hence, using the word cheating is something they understand. Using the word Adultery, is not something they understand.

Do you have a better way to describe it to a bunch of 9 or 10 year old children?

And remember don’t use the word cheating.
 
maryjk said:
No, but I also didn’t say that adultery is cheating on a test. :rolleyes: I said that adultery is cheating on a spouse, a sin, just as cheating on a test is a sin. I used cheating on a test to explain about cheating on a spouse. They don’t know the word adultery. They do know the word cheating. Hence, using the word cheating is something they understand. Using the word Adultery, is not something they understand.

Do you have a better way to describe it to a bunch of 9 or 10 year old children?

And remember don’t use the word cheating.
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I would just tell the kids that adultery is when a married person is behaving as if he were married to someone who is not the person he or she is actually married to. Usually they say, “You mean like kissing and hugging?” and I tell them, yes, stuff like that, you know, like what your mummy and daddy do when they think you’re not looking, and the usual response is “Oh, that! Yuck!”

They generally get the picture, and there is no potential for them to accuse themselves of adultery in the Confessional. 😉
 
When it comes to the adultery commandment, wouldn’t it be better taught by the parents?
 
thomasf said:
When it comes to the adultery commandment, wouldn’t it be better taught by the parents?
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Well, you also don’t want to shroud it up in a lot of exciting mystery, either. You just answer questions in a very matter-of-fact tone of voice, at the level of their understanding, without going into a lot of detail.

Turning red and saying “ask your parents” just calls extra attention to it - the opposite of what you want.
 
jmcrae said:
Well, you also don’t want to shroud it up in a lot of exciting mystery, either. You just answer questions in a very matter-of-fact tone of voice, at the level of their understanding, without going into a lot of detail.

Turning red and saying “ask your parents” just calls extra attention to it - the opposite of what you want.
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Yep, that’s why I was asking for advice. I didn’t want to make it seem mysterious, but I also didn’t feel it was appropriate to go too in depth with other people’s children. Thanks for your advice, jmcrae!

Rayne, the name of the magazine is just Catechist. catechist.com/ Some issues are better than others; we’ve gotten a lot of great ideas from them. One of the things I love is that about every other issue or so there is a Bible fill in the blank for the kids to do. We’ve been teaching them to look things up in the Bible, so we’ll use these and coordinate them with what we’re teaching.
 
I just had the privilege of trying to teach the 6th and 9th commandments to third graders myself. I wasn’t sure how this was going to go, but it seemed to work. I also explained adultery as a married person cheating on his spouse, and the 9th commandment as wanting the husband or wife of someone else. Since they can’t do this, I compared these commandments to the 5th commandment. Since they are unlikely to murder anyone either, I told them that these commandments said more to us than our first reading of them would indicate. We use “Our Life with Jesus”, from the Faith and Life Series. In our lesson the book stressed that these commandment tell the children that they need to keep themselves pure, that is clean, in body (5th) and mind (9th). They can do this by not reading books, watching television shows, or going to movies which give them bad examples. They should not read questionable books, or see show without their parents consent. If the kids have questions, I stressed that they should ask their parents. On the positive side, our lesson introduced the idea of vocation. I talked about priesthood and the religious life, as well as marriage, showing them photos of young nuns in habits since we don’t have any sister at our parish. Next week we will finish the lesson by talking about what they can do now to prepare for the faithful relationships that God will want for them when they grow up. They will contribute their ideas, but I will stress studying hard in school, helping their parents, brothers and sisters at home, and praying to God for guidance. I hope this helps.
 
Hello,

Frankly, I believe that when teaching the commandments or any other aspect of our faith to anyone (including children) our best source is always the Catechism of the Catholic Church.

Based on what the CCC says (2331 and following), I think that the following are the most important messages to pass to children regarding the 6th commandment:
  • Duties regarding their sexual identity
  • Chastity
  • What God wants for maried people
Personally, when teaching the 10 commandments I insist in the fact that commandments are given by God because he loves us, as a way to protect us from getting hurt. He knows that we don’t necessarily know what is good or bad for us (we are all His children). On that same positive note, I encourage children to think on what to do to comply with each commandment, rather than what **not **to do.

So, in the context of modern times in North America, I would propose the following to the children, as ways to comply with God’s 6th commandment:
  1. I understand that God created us boys or girls, with different qualities, but He loves all of us the same way, so I feel happy and proud about His choice for me.
  2. I respect my body and that of others, because God lives there.
  3. I don’t think or do impure acts.
  4. I know that a marriage is when God unites forever a man and a woman to love each other, as well as to receive and love their children if He sends babies to them.
So for the 3rd point, the natural question I would expect is: “What is an impure act?”. I believe that for most kids it should be enough to explain that if there is something you feel you need to hide from Mom and Dad, most likely you should not be doing it. Most likely, it is an impure act.

Depending on the ages, culture and what you have discussed with the parents and priest, the other points open the discussion to talk about how some people sometimes don’t like that God chose for them to be a boy or a girl, how some people gets confused and think that a marriage can be done between two people of the same sex, how it is important that people dress properly, divorce, etc.

Just my opinion. Always consult your priest.

God bless you.

MTLDonkey
 
I tell my 6th graders that adultery is the sin of having a married relationship with someone you are not married to.
 
Many 6th graders are interested in sex, so cases like this are a chance for me to take that interest and show them that marriage and sex is about much more than sex. Re adultery, part of the class lesson is that I’d be an adulterer if all I did was meet another woman on the sly just to eat lunch, and never even touch her.
 
I’m teaching third graders too and right now I’m being careful re. Santa much less discussing adultery.

I think I’d address it only if asked. Probably say something like…it’s having two wives or husbands at the same time. Then I’d go off on a tangent about the Church keeping records to make sure a person doesn’t try to get married without divorcing first.

Some of my kids are from divorced parents. The whole thing is touchy and they are only eight and nine.
 
I just went through the commandments with my 1st grader. I really stressed the parts that actually pertain to him. Not watching bad shows/movies. Not looking at books mommy and daddy wouldn’t like. Not saying bad words. Respecting his sisters privacy when they are changing, and having respect for himself with his body. The 6th commandment isn’t JUST about adultery, but also those things that pertain to purity. And in our culture there are tons of ways to ruin our purity.
 
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