Betrayal by a friend

[springbreeze]

Dear friends

Recently a friend of mine lied to me by ommission. This lie has hurt me very much. When she finally told me she had done something which she knew would hurt me by not including me in something, she didn’t even say she was sorry. I simply said to her not to ever lie to me again. She also broke a persons confidence by telling me information about them. This information I already more or less knew by an intuition, but still this information upset me and saddened me badly.

I am presently angry and hurt. I do forgive my friend, but I am overwhelmed with how selfish she has been. It feels as though she has stuck a knife in my heart.

Her actions are causing me to reconsider our friendship, I don’t at present feel very valued as a friend and she has by her actions hurt me very much. I saw her today and we laughed and joked as usual, but inside my heart hurt from what she has done. Maybe time will heal that and God will aloow me to forget a little, but I am just so very hurt by her.

Any advice?

God Bless you and much love and peace to you

Teresa

 

[Scout]

Have you told your friend what you’ve told us? If not, you need to do so. Maybe you can pray about the situation and your emotions beforehand, so that God will help you say those things that need to be said.

If you have told her, then you might want to talk about it in Confession. I don’t think your emotions are a sin, but perhaps the priest can give you some good advice on what to do with your feelings.

I wouldn’t completely throw in the towel after one altercation, though. Friendships take work, and this is just something you will probably have to take some time to work through. If you value the relationship, you’ll want to work on it.

Scout :tiphat:

 

[springbreeze]

Hi Scout

Thank you for your reply.

No I didn’t tell her how much she has hurt me. She said she thought it would hurt me and straight away I said she hadn’t, I said that because I didn’t want her to feel hurt and to some extent I didn’t want her to think she had hurt me because I was so angry at what she had gone and done behind my back.

She has absolutely no idea she has hurt me and I am not inclined to discuss this with her presently. If she does perceive I am hurt, then she is behaving extraordinarily insensitively or she simply isn’t that bothered about my feelings.

God Bless you and much love and peace to you

Teresa

 

[Christy_Beth]

First off, it’s ok to feel hurt and all. It’s normal. Talk with her about the situation, but don’t keep coming back to it. With me, it takes me a long time to “get it out of my system.” Let her know that, let her know that you forgive her, but are still hurt by her actions. Maybe taking a “vacation” from each other is in order. That would give you time to work through your feelings.

 

[Scout]

springbreeze:

Hi Scout

Thank you for your reply.

No I didn’t tell her how much she has hurt me. She said she thought it would hurt me and straight away I said she hadn’t, I said that because I didn’t want her to feel hurt and to some extent I didn’t want her to think she had hurt me because I was so angry at what she had gone and done behind my back.

She has absolutely no idea she has hurt me and I am not inclined to discuss this with her presently. If she does perceive I am hurt, then she is behaving extraordinarily insensitively or she simply isn’t that bothered about my feelings.

God Bless you and much love and peace to you

Teresa

If you told her you weren’t hurt, then she has no reason to think otherwise. I doubt that she’s going to perceive that you’re upset about the situation, since you’ve done almost everything you can to make her believe you’re not upset. That’s just as dishonest as the things she’s done to you. I know this is cliche’, but two wrongs don’t make a right.

If you don’t talk about this with her, then it’s going to continue to eat at you. It’s only when things are brought to the light that we can learn and heal from them. If you don’t speak with her, you should at least talk about it with your priest and get his (name removed by moderator)ut. This will also help you to unburden yourself if you’re not ready to go to your friend.

I hope I don’t sound “preachy”. That’s not my intent at all. It’s just that I’ve been in situations like this before, and the only way they ever got resolved was to talk about it and get it out in the open.

I’ll say a prayer for you when I have my Holy Hour. God Bless.

Scout :tiphat:

 

[springbreeze]

Dear Scout

Thank you very much for your prayers.

This evening I was sitting there hurt , I suppose feeling sorry for myself when a friend called me up and told me that a mutual friend of ours daughter who is 15 years old has been diagnosed with leukimia. I sat up dusted myself off and stopped feeling sorry for myself. OK another friend of mine has hurt me, she shouldn’t have done what she did, it was very selfish, but it is not the end of the world.

The best thing to do is to forget it because I love my friend.

Would you pray for the young lady with leukimia instead of praying for me, her name is Melissa.

Thank you Scout for your kindness in helping me think this problem through, God always sends the helper. May He reward you greatly.

God Bless you always and much love and peace to you

Teresa

 

[Scout]

I’ll pray for both you and your friend, and the girl with leukemia. We all need all the prayers we can get.

Scout :tiphat:

 

[springbreeze]

Thank you Scout you are a very kind and generous soul

God Bless you always and much love and peace to you

Teresa