Betraying trust

[BigDL75]

A few years ago I had a friend who confided in me a lot of really personal stuff; he told me how he was depressed and felt like the world hated him. I helped him as best as I could and he eventually got out of this stupor. However, I betrayed his trust and told another person about it. And I didn’t tell this other person about it for any good constructive reason; I told him because I guess, at the time, it made me feel better about myself. That was three years ago; I am a completely different person now than I was then. I just recently started going to Confession again, and I just remembered this incident this week. I plan to confess it this weekend. My question is, in addition to confession, am I obligated to tell my friend that I betrayed his trust? We are much better friends now than were were then; the person I told about it never told anyone so my friend was never hurt by it. If I tell him I don’t know if he can fully forgive me. What should I do?

 

[HailMary]

A few years ago I had a friend who confided in me a lot of really personal stuff; he told me how he was depressed and felt like the world hated him. I helped him as best as I could and he eventually got out of this stupor. However, I betrayed his trust and told another person about it. And I didn’t tell this other person about it for any good constructive reason; I told him because I guess, at the time, it made me feel better about myself. That was three years ago; I am a completely different person now than I was then. I just recently started going to Confession again, and I just remembered this incident this week. I plan to confess it this weekend. My question is, in addition to confession, am I obligated to tell my friend that I betrayed his trust? We are much better friends now than were were then; the person I told about it never told anyone so my friend was never hurt by it. If I tell him I don’t know if he can fully forgive me. What should I do?

I think you should tell your priest during confession and he will determine what type of satisfaction(penance) you need to perform.

 

[Orionthehunter]

I think you should tell your priest during confession and he will determine what type of satisfaction(penance) you need to perform.

Prior to going to confession, read today’s Mass readings and then reflect on the meditation at www.wau.org as it talks about restoring justice to those we have wronged. I’m sure that prior to confession, in prayer, you will explore your options (to tell or not to tell) and the option that gives you the greatest peace is the one you should pursue. If still in doubt, of course, ask the Priest for guidance. When we are basking in God’s mercy and justice, it is easiest to discern what is most merciful and just. Peace to you.

 

[ncgolf]

You are not obligated to tell your friend. When you went to confession you were forgiven, totally and completely. If the priest had an issue forgiving you he would not have absolved you. The feelings of guilt remain sometimes to show us the consequence of sin. There is not a one of us who probably does not regret a confessed sin so what I would do is pray for your friend and try to understand more about God’s mercy … read on the life of St. Faustina … who gave us the Divine Mercy Chaplet. I think you are about to delve deeper into one of God’s great mysteries. Use this pain as a prod to more understanding … don’t wallow in it.

 

[LilyM]

If you must do something, pray or do something good in a practical way for the friend whose secrets you told. That will probably benefit them more than telling them that you blabbed their secrets.