Bi-ritual families

[CatholicNerd]

Hi everyone! I posted this over at Byzcath.org but I thought I’d seek the (name removed by moderator)ut of folks on the Latin side of the coin, too. I’m giving serious thought to leaving the Latin church and joining the Byzantine Church (probably Ruthenian or Russian). My girlfriend and I have decided that we will not pursue marriage until we have finished grad school (which is 4 years away if everything goes well). If I’m going to be switching jurisdictions, I’d rather do it sooner than later, and if I do end up going Byzantine the canonical implications are going to be difficult for my girlfriend to deal with.

She’s nervous about her family being incapable of understanding my Eastern Catholicism and regarding me as a half-Catholic, regarding our children as half-Catholic (canonically speaking they’d be Byzantine), and thus not wanting to have a whole lot to do with us. She’s also nervous about the discrimination our kids might have to deal with from ignorant Latin Catholics or worse, jealous Latin Catholic children who may not understand why our kids have taken communion from birth and are already confirmed, etc… Lastly, she’s nervous about her traditions being regarded as inferior when “stacked up against” my own. I see the potential switch of jurisdictions as an adventure in what it means to truly be Catholic. Catholic, in the end, is Catholic. My girlfriend has said that she is ‘willing to be convinced’ that this is a good idea. Any Latin women out there marry Eastern men? Did you have these concerns? How did you deal with them? And how’s your marriage/family life now?

 

[kirabira]

I have a friend who is byz-cath-- but her husband is latin rite. We were >< that close to beinga byz family when my husband was coming into the church— he almost was confirmed by the byz-cath church-- in hindsight we probably should have gone that route with his heritage, but he ended up latinized…
I think being ‘eastern’ is great - maybe give you a chance to educate your family etc about the real universality of being Catholic.
I’m excited for you!
pax tibi
K

 

[The_Vatican_Two]

It doesn’t seem like there would be too much of a problem as both Churches are in full-communion with each other.

 

[Mary_s_Lamb]

I believe that there is an agreement between the Latin rite church and Byzantine when a couple decides to wed. This was true for my parents. My dad is Ukranian Catholic. My mom is Roman Catholic. The determination by the diocese was that the family should follow the faith of the man as head of the household.

My parents started out that way. 4 of their 5 children were baptized and confirmed in the Ukranian church. Many years later they moved to a community where there was no Ukranian church. So they switched over to the latin rite. My youngest brother was baptized there.

We have experienced no problems or discrimination, as your fiance is worried about. In fact my classmates envied me that I had already been confirmed before them. And we have had the advantages and richness of both rites.
Rather than make the switch based on your fiance’s nervousness, take time to find out what your diocese sets out for you to do. Then follow their recomendation. By having the church decide for you, it takes the personal “hurt” out of it from your future inlaws.