Bible Notes by Liberals

[Daniel_Marsh]

Hillary Clinton Vows To Block Bill Criminalizing Illegal Workers
March 23, 2006 3:00 p.m. EST
Julie Farby - All Headline News Staff Writer

New York, NY (AHN)—Sen. Hillary Rodham Clinton, a potential 2008 presidential candidate, joined immigration advocates to vow to block legislation seeking to criminalize undocumented immigrants.

Clinton made her remarks as the Senate prepares to take up the matter next week.

Surrounded by a multicultural coalition of New York immigration advocates, Clinton blasted the House bill, seeking to make unlawful presence in the U.S., a felony, as “mean-spirited,” saying it flew in the face of Republicans’ stated support for faith and values.
**
Clinton says, “It is certainly not in keeping with my understanding of the Scriptures, because this bill would literally criminalize the Good Samaritan and probably even Jesus himself.”
**
According to the Newsday report, Clinton says she would support legislation to strengthen U.S. borders, boost technology to secure the borders, and seek greater cross-border cooperation with Mexico and other neighboring countries.

Clinton also calls for new enforcement laws, including penalties for employers who exploit illegal immigrants, as well as a system to allow the roughly 11 million illegal immigrants currently living in the United States to earn their citizenship.

allheadlinenews.com/articles/7002897556

How would you word the note by Ms. Clinton in her Bible? What Translation is she using?

 

[Catholic_Dude]

allheadlinenews.com/articles/7002897556

How would you word the note by Ms. Clinton in her Bible? What Translation is she using?

Clinton says, “It is certainly not in keeping with my understanding of the Scriptures, because this Bill would literally criminalize the Good Samaritan and probably even Jesus himself.”
I think they call it the New King Janes Version

 

[Fidelis]

From The NLOT (New Liberals Obfuscation Translation):

30
Jesus replied compassionately, “An illegal alien fell victim to Conservatives as he or she went down from Jerusalem to Jericho. They stripped and beat him/her and went off leaving him/her half-dead and without government entitlements.
31
12 A priest happened to be going down that road, but when he saw him/her, he patriarchicly passed by on the opposite side.
32
Likewise a Conservative talk show host came to the place, and when he saw him/her, out of sheer meaness he passed by on the opposite side.
33
But a Liberal who came upon him/her was moved with compassion at the sight.
34
She approached the victim, poured oil and wine and Perrier over his wounds and bandaged them. Then she compelled 4 male Liberals to lift him up on a government supplied animal (*one * Conservative male could have done the lifting but–well, you know), took him to an inn and had a government agency care for him.
35
The next day she signed up the illegal alien for a goverment entitlement program and told the innkeeper, “You know, of course, your taxes will go up because of this?”
36
Which of these three, in your opinion, was neighbor to the Conservatives’ victim?”
37
He answered, “The one who treated him with mercy.” Jesus said to him, “Go, and have the government do likewise.”

Footnotes:
Even though in the original languages (or any reputable translation) there is not even the suggestion that this could apply to illegal aliens, the compassionate, Liberal approach would to be to definitively extrapolate that meaning to this passage, especially if it is politically expedient to do so. Oh yeah…and Conservatives are mean.

 

[Ferdinand_Mary]

While this thread probably belongs in another forum, I will only move it if it quits being funny.

Mane Nobiscum Domine,
Ferdinand Mary

 

[RyanL]

From The NLOT (New Liberals Obfuscation Translation):

Fidelis,

I think you’re using the antiquated NLOT 1998 translation. The 2005 NLOT translates “illegal aliens” as “undocumented migrant workers,” and the priest in v12 is now a “she.”

God Bless,
RyanL

 

[anawim]

Note to Sen. Clinton: The man left by the side of the road by the robbers, who was later helped by the Good Samaritan, was not an illegal immigrant!

 

[Fidelis]

RyanL:

Fidelis,

I think you’re using the antiquated NLOT 1998 translation. The 2005 NLOT translates “illegal aliens” as “undocumented migrant workers,” and the priest in v12 is now a “she.”

God Bless,
RyanL

RyanL - Thanks for the update: godess forbid that my version not be “relevant”!

However, I believe the “he” interpretation would still apply in the 2005 NLOT since a female “priest” would *never * act so uncompassionately, while a male invariably would.