Big ? during 1+ year case of basketcase-scrupulosity

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What constitutes semi-wakefulness? If I get bad sleep, usually due to trying to do all on the net I can think of in a night, can I commit a mortal sin by entertaining lustful thoughts? Can you think you know what you’re doing, but really not be, due to bad sleep, stress, obsessive-compulsive habits? Sometimes, I want to stop being on the net or seeing beautiful people in the nude (primitive people, as they are not in sexual poses), but I want to complete the sets. I’ll do that with tv or movies on youtube or with discussions on sites like this and Youtube’s. I might have OCD. It works fine when I’m helping out in the yard or I’m at an adoration chapel, but I have neither where I’m at and the church isn’t open after work. I have to sleep later into the day.

I would love to pray all those hours I’m on the net (I’m happier, then, but if I screwed up, like spending too much time on myself, or I’m in a position where something will put me in the occasion of sin, I’m concerned I’ll never be able to maintain any healthy spirituality), but I get started on the net, thinking I’ll only be on for a short while, and the options of search terms takes longer than I thought to exhaust. I hope I’ll be done soon, when I do that, but I’m not. I’d like to hide the computer, but I’m overseas and my family use it to contact me. There’s not the libraries with the net near me, though I guess there are the PC rooms. Trying to say the words I do know and gesturing the rest falls apart, when they need to ask or say something. Like I said, though, I think I’ll be on a short time at home, despite previous experiences.

I’ve waned to go to confession more, but I’m thinking I need to show a sign that I mean I’m serious about not even being up late, but I am up late. I think it’s affecting my work (being up late–3AM comes so quickly!), but I think work problems effected it (they say no training and no experience in the ads, but you really do need it as most the elementary school kids in the most Confucian country don’t show respect to me as a teacher and older person and thus, I respect teachers, esp. in the wilder Western schools–well, respecting most college professors may take some time). I’ve gained much weight and stopped doing the fun things I used to like. I wonder if I’m just not bearing my cross, but the fact that my class disrupted another’s made it about more than just me. Guilt entered in to my job performance there in addition to that which I had, when my dad had to snowblow 5 times all that snow that fell last Winter and when I couldn’t be available for family and friend things because of my impulsive ill-thought-out trying out of EFL.

I don’t know if stress has done this, as I get more sense pleasure (not intentionally sensual) and obnoxious on discussion boards when stressed out. Anger on discussion groups is another thing I regret, but don’t know if I’m fully in charge of myself then, even though I intentionally complain about how things are going down the pot and feel I’d be a better person if clergy over the past 40 years had told us how it is and not made fuzzy-feeling Masses, made funny church buildings and moved Thursday holy days to Sunday. Maybe then, I wouldn’t have been put into as many moral dilemmas, for which I feel responsible, in addition to my own private ones. That can lead to resentment. Sometimes, I don’t know who to trust as a spiritual director. I think it m,ay be a loss of control over a situation. I had issues with my last boss and a couple others and, before I knew when, I got very cranky on the road and got sleep deprivation.

Job stress, worthlessness, guilt feeling I’m not living my vocation, scrupulosity, being mad at myself for my errors, plus bad sleep make me wonder if these are signs of not being in a state of sanctifying grace or if these are good excuses for weak behavior. I heard a sermon that said if you are leading a good life, consider being with God your greatest desire and are not wanting to do anything to offend God, and are receiving Jesus at Communion you are in a state of grace and should not fear God’s wrath, but if you are scrupulous, you feel you are not doing the first, probably not doing the second, if you are entertained more b y other things, and thinking maybe you didn’t really care that God is offended, since you’re still doing it and so you do fear God’s wrath, feel you can’t do Confession correctly and don’t receive Jesus at Communion.

When you think of the fruits of the Holy Spirit, you think maybe you did run Him out of your soul, because you certainly don’t have supernatural grace. I try to avoid companies that fun PP and get coffee or clothes from sweatshops, esp. things from in China or not buy them lightly. I don’t say mean things to rude students. I try to be understanding, but I get dragged around by my moods and sentiments and maybe I let myself. Maybe I haven’t worked a full day’s pay most days due to feeling sorry for myself, but I really don’t have teaching in me. Sophisticated games and planning lessons make me nervous, esp, as noone seems to care unless it’s hangman. I wonder if I’ve tried hard enough. Still, I’m a wreck and blame myself sometimes and blame others sometimes.

Well, I digressed quite a bit from semi-wakefulness, but I tend to write in flow of thought style, which is not really a style. Is there a list of indicators you are likely in a state of grace or not–sort of like how an apparition site is judged by its fruits in observing the fanbase, amongst other indicators? I can make kids and nursing home residents laugh with silly behavior, but I wonder if I’m just avoiding responsibility. One told me I ought to be a light for the students. As much theology as I’ve read ad heard, I’m still looking for one myself to understand me and be one I feel is, at the same time, not wishy-washy. For a melancholic, that’s hard, s I come here.

ThankYou!
 
What constitutes semi-wakefulness? If I get bad sleep, usually due to trying to do all on the net I can think of in a night, can I commit a mortal sin by entertaining lustful thoughts? Can you think you know what you’re doing, but really not be, due to bad sleep, stress, obsessive-compulsive habits? Sometimes, I want to stop being on the net or seeing beautiful people in the nude (primitive people, as they are not in sexual poses), but I want to complete the sets. I’ll do that with tv or movies on youtube or with discussions on sites like this and Youtube’s. I might have OCD. It works fine when I’m helping out in the yard or I’m at an adoration chapel, but I have neither where I’m at and the church isn’t open after work. I have to sleep later into the day.

I am not sure I understand what you are saying here. Something you do at work requires you to see people in the nude?

I would love to pray all those hours I’m on the net (I’m happier, then, but if I screwed up, like spending too much time on myself, or I’m in a position where something will put me in the occasion of sin, I’m concerned I’ll never be able to maintain any healthy spirituality), but I get started on the net, thinking I’ll only be on for a short while, and the options of search terms takes longer than I thought to exhaust. I hope I’ll be done soon, when I do that, but I’m not. I’d like to hide the computer, but I’m overseas and my family use it to contact me. There’s not the libraries with the net near me, though I guess there are the PC rooms. Trying to say the words I do know and gesturing the rest falls apart, when they need to ask or say something. Like I said, though, I think I’ll be on a short time at home, despite previous experiences.

So are you saying that you use the Internet too often? And by being on the Net too long, you are putting yourself in the occasion of sin?

I’ve waned to go to confession more, but I’m thinking I need to show a sign that I mean I’m serious about not even being up late, but I am up late. I think it’s affecting my work (being up late–3AM comes so quickly!), but I think work problems effected it (they say no training and no experience in the ads, but you really do need it as most the elementary school kids in the most Confucian country don’t show respect to me as a teacher and older person and thus, I respect teachers, esp. in the wilder Western schools–well, respecting most college professors may take some time). I’ve gained much weight and stopped doing the fun things I used to like. I wonder if I’m just not bearing my cross, but the fact that my class disrupted another’s made it about more than just me. Guilt entered in to my job performance there in addition to that which I had, when my dad had to snowblow 5 times all that snow that fell last Winter and when I couldn’t be available for family and friend things because of my impulsive ill-thought-out trying out of EFL.

I don’t know if stress has done this, as I get more sense pleasure (not intentionally sensual) and obnoxious on discussion boards when stressed out. Anger on discussion groups is another thing I regret, but don’t know if I’m fully in charge of myself then, even though I intentionally complain about how things are going down the pot and feel I’d be a better person if clergy over the past 40 years had told us how it is and not made fuzzy-feeling Masses, made funny church buildings and moved Thursday holy days to Sunday. Maybe then, I wouldn’t have been put into as many moral dilemmas, for which I feel responsible, in addition to my own private ones. That can lead to resentment. Sometimes, I don’t know who to trust as a spiritual director. I think it m,ay be a loss of control over a situation. I had issues with my last boss and a couple others and, before I knew when, I got very cranky on the road and got sleep deprivation.

Job stress, worthlessness, guilt feeling I’m not living my vocation, scrupulosity, being mad at myself for my errors, plus bad sleep make me wonder if these are signs of not being in a state of sanctifying grace or if these are good excuses for weak behavior. I heard a sermon that said if you are leading a good life, consider being with God your greatest desire and are not wanting to do anything to offend God, and are receiving Jesus at Communion you are in a state of grace and should not fear God’s wrath, but if you are scrupulous, you feel you are not doing the first, probably not doing the second, if you are entertained more b y other things, and thinking maybe you didn’t really care that God is offended, since you’re still doing it and so you do fear God’s wrath, feel you can’t do Confession correctly and don’t receive Jesus at Communion.

You certainly have to take into consideration the added stress, being over scrupulous as factors dictating your behaviours. Being mad at yourself is not going to help you to over come your shortcomings. It may be helpful in letting you know where you are falling short, but if you hold on to that anger and never allow yourself to rise above it, then it is only preventing you from allowing God to help you know His love and transforming you. In regards to confession, I would strongly recommend that you see a priest and ask him for his (name removed by moderator)ut, as he will be better enabled to help you. Do not be afraid to go to Confession! God’s Love and forgiveness is always awaiting us in this Sacrament. Go to it and allow yourself to be healed!

ThankYou!
I hope I was able to help a bit. Remember, Seeking out a priest you can speak to in person would be the best thing you can do. You will be in my prayers!

Br. Allen
 
Thank you!

Yeah, I had guilt from missing family functions and not being around home to help out with shoveling when all the snow hit there. Guilt added to stress at working at a job. The job does not involve seeing those without clothes. I think that and arguing on forums can be ways of feeling in control of something as I don’t confront anyone with related behavior (in fact, I’m light-hearted or reticent). Staying up late to do it may also be a kind of imaginary control, but it may affect reasoning. What constitutes semi-wakefulness and other cognitive determiners of whether any sin is mortal is something I cannot find well-defined or even approximated.

I am scrupulous (which may have added other OCD functions) and, except for having an orderly room and not wanting to hurt anyone with words (but may do so at a distance when not-confronted in-person–like forums, where I get things off my chest in not always polite ways) and being silly for ids and people with Alzheimer’s, I fit the melancholic temperament. I shift between blaming myself and wondering if I’m too hard on myself, as the symptoms of scrupulosity and resulting stress and depression came upon me so gradually and hard to shake.

There aren’t other prayer services around here in S. Korea and daily Mass could be dome except it is too difficult to decide so many times f I can receive Jesus. I was stressing out before I came here, but I could get to rosary services and I didn’t have the net at my place. There are English-speaking priests here, but I can’t decide if I should go or if I could make a act of contrition in good faith.

God is my only happiness and praying fulfills me. I’m not fulfilled watching tv or doing net stuff, but I’m worn out emotionally and feel the need to relax and then find something else to take my mind off the day. I’m not sure why I am so slow to go to Him, but starting prayer takes a blast of initiative (but I do get to it, even if done too quickly). Having read so much about my Faith and going to rosaries, I have not overcome myself, but I have increased praying. Maybe it’s help from another employee and the contract ending that’s lightened my mood. I would love to put control into a superior’s hands but, as a scrupulous melancholic, I don’t trust just anyone. If they innovate during Mass or ditch clerical clothes, I get very put-out. I cannot be sure I would do well under a lax superior or a tough one like Sts. Bernadette’s and Therese of Liseaux, but it would be easier than deciding what to say to a friend or family who’d want me to go to a non-canonical wedding.

Beyond a superior, not caring about money and things, while praying and maybe doing activity work with those with Alzheimer’s, would be a great relief for my scruples. It’s less likely one would get me in trouble and I would feel useful, doing something I do well. I realized here what I do well, but I’ve felt guilty not doing well here for my good boss. I still have a few more weeks left to feel I’m doing not much good here. I could die any day from anything and so I’m not sure what to tell a confessor if I need one for Communion. Going unnecessarily could increase scruples. I never feel I get answers that work for me, but then, with my personality, I would not expect them to work on me. I only have hope I might be saved if I died without a priest around (preferably with last rites equipment)–like on a plane ride.

God bless you for your “listening” (and anyone else) and kind response! I’ll say a prayer for you too! I’m not expecting expert answers from anyone, but maybe a priest (and that, from all one could gather from what I wrote). Maybe someone has an idea if I might be judging myself too harshly in not receiving Jesus at Holy Communion–just an idea to bat around with other (name removed by moderator)ut from my on thinking, reading, etc. .
 
Here on CAF, there has been a long series of discussion of scurpulosity.

Do a quick search for “scrupulosity”.

It’s a sufficiently wide-spread problem that there is an organization (no meetings) with a newsletter. It’s called Scrupulous Anonymous. The Ligouri fathers maintain the newsletter and Web site.

Scrupulosity is not a sin.

Visit Scrupulosity Anonymous. They have excellent publications.

mission.liguori.org/newsletters/scrupanon.htm

Check also to see if their book is back in print; it sells out frequently and they have to reissue it.

In addition, the issue of scrupulosity has been discussed many times here at CAF. Do a search on this site for “scrupulosity”.
 
Thanks but, as you must know, scrupulous ones never feel understood. There’s always something different about your case. Besides, I asked a question in another thread about whether missing Mass out of laziness were a mortal sin, because it’s still a precept and I would think being lazy would likely mean you don’t care to even know the teachings about that or you don’t care or don’t believe it if you read it (you know, the ol’ “Vatican 2 changed, that, right, so who knows what’s solid teaching anymore?” argument). SA said it would be venial for even non-scrupulous ones to miss Mass out of laziness. They concern me.
 
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