BIG NFP problems

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kevinsgirl said:
I think that is uncalled for. Jennifer merely restated the Church’s teaching on birth control. You may not want to hear it, but she is right. Being Catholic isn’t easy, but the Church’s teachings aren’t there for no reason. Contraception is waaaaay more deadly to a marriage than abstainence.

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Prayers,

kevinsgirl
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Thank you, Kevinsgirl. I wasn’t trying to be mean at all.

To the OP, MANY women have found great help in Marilyn Shannon’s advice, in no way is it quackery :eek: It’s based on research. 🤷

I do agree that perhaps the Marquette Model would be very helpful in this situation. The addition of the fertility monitor would be a further cross check.

Again, prayers for you in this difficult situation.
 
This is a very difficult situation. With PCOS (I believe that is what he said was the situation) she can chart and chart and there will be not indication either way. I mean, she will be all over the board. My SIL has PCOS and I was helping her chart and it was impossible. She was trying to get pg. Anyway, I’m just saying I can see his frustration and I don’t think he’s just asking for people to agree with him, he’s venting his frustration and truly looking for somebody who has some kind of answer where he is able to remain in communion. It’s evident they are putting effort into this (especially with the evidence of 6 kids - most don’t have 2 kids nowadays).

In any case, she won’t be able to use OPKs because, like charting, she will never know when to use them and they will go positive at various times during her cycle.

The surprising thing to me is that most people with PCOS have such a difficult time getting pg.

My prayers are with you. May God bless you and your family with everything you need and an answer to your prayers.
 
Thank you from those who have been gentle, kind and truly helpful during our time of difficulty. My wife and I want to properly postpone pregnancy, possibly indefinitely, within the proper moral context. However, it seems a certain number of you insist on restating the obvious and offering only harsh condemnation. I tried to be honest and made myself vulnerable in this forum in an attempt to obtain new ideas and to get back on track from a moral standpoint. I have sought a wide variety of sources to arrive at a more robust decision. I enjoy being challenged in a constructive way, but some of the comments directed toward me have been simply uncharitable, unhelpful and put me in a defensive mode. Our priest has NOT given us any license to sin, but is aware of the sensitive nature of our struggle and the immaturity of our spiritual lives, and he has tried not to alienate us, but keep us engaged to arrive at a meaningful solution. I thought this forum would do the same, but it appears I was wrong. This is my final post as I don’t think this is the proper environment to address this and continue praying for us who have to carry this cross. Thanks again.
 
I can’t recommend the Lady Comp enough. I have used this with flawless results for four years now. I have very difficult pregnancies and irregular cycles. The Lady Comp figures out this mess for me.
LadyCompUSA.com I think is the website. It will last your entire fertile lifetime.
 
A resource I previously forgot to add was where I get my ovulation tests. They are significantly less expensive than those sold in stores so I can test more frequently and p(name removed by moderator)oint ovulation better.

early-pregnancy-tests.com/

I usually buy them in bulk. 👍

I’m sorry if you found my posts condemning by restating Church teaching. I sincerely do hope that you can use some of the resources provided so that you and your wife can have a better, happier marriage!

God bless,

kevinsgirl
 
Have you and your wife tried abstaining until the 3rd day of the full thermal shift? (i.e. no sex during phases I and II)
 
Lady_D_I said:
Have you looked into the Marquette Model? Maybe the monitor would be helpful. 🤷 I don’t know what elso to offer.
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The Marquette method is the one hubby and I use because Creighton did not work for us (I could never determine when I was fertile). The initial monitor cost might seem like a lot (it looks like it now runs ~$140-$150 on Amazon.com), but it has been well worth the investment for us. I order the test sticks on Amazon.com and get ~3 months supply for about $40. (I only use 7-8 sticks per month, so a box of 30 is a bit more than a 3-month supply for me.)

Prayers for you and your family to find a way to follow the teachings of the Church and do His will for your family while also easing your wife’s desperation and your difficulties in dealing with everything. 🙂
 
Jennifer_J said:
So then, you really don’t have a question, you just came here because you want us all to agree that it’s “great” that you are using condoms? Well, it’s not. According to the Church you have two options, complete abstinence (difficult but totally possible) or periodic abstinence (that’s NFP). Perhaps you could try STM again and get better at taking her morning temp and recording that and mucous and cervix position. I would give NFP another serious attempt before turning to a moral evil. One would think with serious reasons, that would be enough of a motivator. Is it always easy, heck NO! Whoever said that life would be easy? Infact the moral and right thing to do is often the hardest. Maybe a refresher course in NFP is needed, even if your wife IS a nurse–it never hurts to brush up on the rules.

Also, perhaps the addition of a vitamen suppliment, such as Optivite would help her fertiltiy signs be clearer. Have you read the book Fertilty, Cycles and Nutrition by Marilyn Shannon? It gives good advice for clearing up cycle irregularities and clarity of cycles through nutrition and suppliments. It’s available through CCLI or even Amazon.com.

Finally, I will pray for you and your wife. We have 6 children and life can be difficult. Those difficulites don’t give us the right to knowingly sin, though.

God bless you
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I was very put off by the tone of your post as well. I’m not trying to be mean at all, but perhaps you should prepare your response in such a way that the message will get through. You know the saying, “Speak a little softer so that I can hear you.”? It’s good advice. As I read your post I pictured you standing over the OP with one hand on your hip, the other hand waving a finger at him, speaking in a “shame-on-you” voice. These boards can be used for good. OR, they can be used to turn people OFF and AWAY from the Catholic church. Jesus wouldn’t speak so harshly, niether should you.
 
To the OP,

What I find helpful is reminding myself that NFP totally stinks. It is a burden. It is a pain. It is not fun. It is totally unnatural. It makes marriage harder. But, it is a gift in some cases.

Sometimes, things don’t go as God the Father designed them. Sometimes, children come too close together. Sometimes, we can’t support another child financially or psychologically. In those serious times, we have the ability to abstain at certain times in order to avoid pregnancy. This is not fun. It is a stress on the marriage. It is opposed to the naturally good instincts and desires that a man and wife possess. But like many things in life, it is a hardship we must endure.

Some men are born with a lame leg. Some men are born blind. We adapt and cope the best we can. Ask yourself why you are being given this hardship. Offer this hardship back to God. Even thank God for the blessing of this hardship.

And while you’re doing that, try to make NFP work the best you can. And ignore the people who prance about claiming NFP is just the greatest, bestest gift for a marriage. It isn’t. Not using NFP is the best thing for a marriage. NFP is like crutches or a hearing aid - it’s a remedy for when things don’t work right. Sometimes realizing that it’s a remedy and a hardship can help you understand how to handle it a little bit better.

Stay close to our Lord. If you fall, get back up and try again. And remember, God never gives you more than you can handle.

God bless you!
 
Jennifer_J said:
So then, you really don’t have a question, you just came here because you want us all to agree that it’s “great” that you are using condoms? Well, it’s not. According to the Church you have two options, complete abstinence (difficult but totally possible) or periodic abstinence (that’s NFP). Perhaps you could try STM again and get better at taking her morning temp and recording that and mucous and cervix position. I would give NFP another serious attempt before turning to a moral evil. One would think with serious reasons, that would be enough of a motivator. Is it always easy, heck NO! Whoever said that life would be easy? Infact the moral and right thing to do is often the hardest. Maybe a refresher course in NFP is needed, even if your wife IS a nurse–it never hurts to brush up on the rules.

Also, perhaps the addition of a vitamen suppliment, such as Optivite would help her fertiltiy signs be clearer. Have you read the book Fertilty, Cycles and Nutrition by Marilyn Shannon? It gives good advice for clearing up cycle irregularities and clarity of cycles through nutrition and suppliments. It’s available through CCLI or even Amazon.com.

Finally, I will pray for you and your wife. We have 6 children and life can be difficult. Those difficulites don’t give us the right to knowingly sin, though.

God bless you
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“Cook the truth in charity until it tastes sweet.”
-St. Francis De Sales
 
Iwould like to rcommend the Marquette model. the monitor measures both estrogen as well as lh surge. estrogen is responsible for mucus production ,in most women it peaks then drops off for ovulation to happen. sounds like your wife may have high estrogen levels making her mucus hard to discern. the monitor can pick up the minute changes that you may not see in her mucus. additionally the monitor measures lh surge which peaks just before ovulation, this tells you peak fertility. note that ovulation predictor strips only measure lh. tthe measure of estrogen and lh gives a much more reliable indication of fertility.
additionally you might try to contact a napro technology specialist inyour area. I keep you in my prayers during this difficult time.
 
I don’t think the OP is reading anymore, but just in case…

I agree that the 99% statistic is bogus. (Although, do remember that with 99%, it only takes 100 times. ;))

But with that being said, the same statistics for condoms are just as bogus. Be careful that you do not lull yourself into a false sense of security.
 
kittery said:
I was very put off by the tone of your post as well. I’m not trying to be mean at all, but perhaps you should prepare your response in such a way that the message will get through. You know the saying, “Speak a little softer so that I can hear you.”? It’s good advice. As I read your post I pictured you standing over the OP with one hand on your hip, the other hand waving a finger at him, speaking in a “shame-on-you” voice. These boards can be used for good. OR, they can be used to turn people OFF and AWAY from the Catholic church. Jesus wouldn’t speak so harshly, niether should you.
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Well, the OP and I have already spoken (apology and all), thank you very much, however, I still stand by WHAT I wrote–it’s the truth AND it was spoken in LOVE. Thanks for your help, though…
 
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