Biggest mistakes when evangelizing

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What do you think are the biggest mistakes that novice apologists make when trying to share the good news of the Catholic church with others? I know there’s a book that addresses this - How Not To Share Your Faith: the seven deadly sin of Catholic Apologetics and Evangelization, by Mark Brumley - which I haven’t read, so I can’t comment on it in particular, but I thought a discussion on this topic might be of use to new, excited apologists out there. If anyone has any personal “failure” stories, those would probably help illustrate. (Also welcome are tips on good apologetics, too.)

I’ll start the discussion. I know one of my big pitfalls when I first began was arrogance. I came off with this attitude of superiority because I had found the truth. I once asked an aunt, a protestant, why she thought there were so many protestant denominations, following it up with this comment, “I know the answer to this, by the way.” It turned the conversation into a debate, which probably turned her away from the faith more than toward it.
 
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awfulthings9:
What do you think are the biggest mistakes that novice apologists make when trying to share the good news of the Catholic church with others? I know there’s a book that addresses this - How Not To Share Your Faith: the seven deadly sin of Catholic Apologetics and Evangelization, by Mark Brumley - which I haven’t read, so I can’t comment on it in particular, but I thought a discussion on this topic might be of use to new, excited apologists out there. If anyone has any personal “failure” stories, those would probably help illustrate. (Also welcome are tips on good apologetics, too.)

I’ll start the discussion. I know one of my big pitfalls when I first began was arrogance. I came off with this attitude of superiority because I had found the truth. I once asked an aunt, a protestant, why she thought there were so many protestant denominations, following it up with this comment, “I know the answer to this, by the way.” It turned the conversation into a debate, which probably turned her away from the faith more than toward it.
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I will guess that the biggest mistake made by apologists is to unconsciously seek to strenthen their own faith through debate rather than to truly share a genuine faith with another person out of love and obedience.

PHil
 
I think one of the the biggest mistakes is some confuse proselytization with evangelization.

PF
 
Trying to win debates instead of winning hearts.
It sometimes can be a fine line.

Beebs
 
Feeling that you must respond in kind to an a-C. But one of the biggest problems is not knowing how to simply give a clear concise and heartfelt testimony of your faith. N-Cs are trained to do this…Catholics often have no idea what that’s all about.

Easily fixed…write yourself a short essay on why you are Catholic and what it means/has done for you.
Pax tecum,
 
Church Militant:
Feeling that you must respond in kind to an a-C. But one of the biggest problems is not knowing how to simply give a clear concise and heartfelt testimony of your faith. N-Cs are trained to do this…Catholics often have no idea what that’s all about.

Easily fixed…write yourself a short essay on why you are Catholic and what it means/has done for you.
Pax tecum,
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Thats a good point. Some of the worse discussions I have been in were ones where the opening words were anti-C and you knew from there there was no changing the whore of Babylon mentality.

This to me is the hardest thing, I dont know how to get a anti-C Protestant to even listen to reasoning.
 
Another big mistake is thinking that it all hinges on what you say. It’s easy to get discouraged when you talk to someone and they don’t seem to have even considered what you said, but you need to remember that it’s God’s job to change hearts. You don’t know what might result from what you say weeks, months, or even years later. Our job is to present the truth in love. When I talk to someone, I try to remember that I want to do as much as possible to remove obstacles to truth, but it’s only God’s grace that will make a person come to truly believe it.

“I planted the seed, Apollos watered it, but God made it grow.”–St. Paul, 1 Corinthians 3:6
 
The thing I find most disappointing is when people talk about stuff they don’t know. For instance, there is one person I know who has gone through the basic CCD kind of classes and nothing else. She is able to discuss the basics of our faith just fine. However, if a person asks a question she does not know the answer to or one that is above her head, she’ll just go ahead and answer for all Catholicism. It drives me crazy!

Why not just say, “That’s a good question that I don’t know the answer to. I’ll look it up and get back with you.”? Then actually go consult someone (written or spoken) who is more knowledgeable than you on the subject.
 
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awfulthings9:
What do you think are the biggest mistakes that novice apologists make when trying to share the good news of the Catholic church with others?
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The biggest mistake novice (and experienced) apologists make is not understanding what they are principally engaged in is spiritual warfare, not reasoned debate among rational human beings. A Catholic apologist must learn how to bind demonic forces in the name of Jesus, since these demonic forces prevent Protestant heretics, apostates, and pagans from hearing the truth. Jesus never trained people in apologetics; he trained disciples in the healing and deliverance ministry.

The next biggest mistake that novice apologists make is not actually knowing what the Church teaches. How many times on these forums have I seen Catholics imply that the Church teaches that we merit heaven by grace AND good works?
 
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Matt16_18:
How many times on these forums have I seen Catholics imply that the Church teaches that we merit heaven by grace AND good works?
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Peace be with you!

Good works are a part of the grace that saves us.

In Christ,
Rand
 
The biggest mistake is forgetting to ask the Holy Spirit for guidance and just trying to do it all yourself.

But I never made that mistake… :rolleyes:
 
When confrontation emerges, this is the time to get out the Word and see what it says. My favorite confrontation-stopping lessons are in the Sermon on the Mount.

Bless those who curse you, and that doesn’t mean by faint praise.

Do not use “I will pray for you” as a put-down. Even if meant in earnest, know the reactions of the people you’re dealing with before you say “I will pray for you” right after making a sarcastic remark, or one that supposes to estimate their motives.

There are certain crazy posters that come in with the intent of disrupting things. Those are ones we need mods for. When someone comes in angry, what better way can we show that we can team up as members of the body of Christ and not only pray for a miracle, but put our faith into action as we respond with love and kindness to even sarcasm. Cleverness in sarcasm is only appreciated when clearly joking (blatant jabs are childish and hurtful, and not constructive) and not evaluating another human being with it.

If we can absorb an angry poster without getting angry (as others have said responding in kind) ourselves, then maybe this person can see that here is one place where Catholics will tell them the truth when asked, but first and foremost are hear to listen to them.

Weren’t there two times God spoke to a crowd, and both times He said “listen to Him” involving His Son? Put that together with “whatever you do to the least of His brothers” and I think you can conclude that if you simply “listen” to another human being you have treated that person as God asked us to treat His only Son, and what better respect can one show that to truly hear, as an active listener and not as a prosecuting attorney looking for possible charges to pounce upon.

Alan
 
Here’s one I’m bad at – piling on.

Maybe it’s pride that I have to add my two cents when someone else has already made a point.

If I have something to add other than one-upmanship, then fine. Once or twice I have actually deleted things I’ve written and been perfectly happy with it. Does a person need eight analogies from eight posters, each with a slightly different way to say, “your views are heretical?”

If the point has been made and it is one of discipline – as in telling another poster they are wrong, let others not chime in with “yea, you tell them” unless they deny it. Then maybe one or two others chime in as in today’s Gospel readings, but not if only to “escalate” the problem. If they won’t listen, let the Church deal with them, or even alert the mods if they are breaking forum rules.

Alan
 
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AlanFromWichita:
Here’s one I’m bad at – piling on.

Maybe it’s pride that I have to add my two cents when someone else has already made a point.

If I have something to add other than one-upmanship, then fine. Once or twice I have actually deleted things I’ve written and been perfectly happy with it. Does a person need eight analogies from eight posters, each with a slightly different way to say, “your views are heretical?”

If the point has been made and it is one of discipline – as in telling another poster they are wrong, let others not chime in with “yea, you tell them” unless they deny it. Then maybe one or two others chime in as in today’s Gospel readings, but not if only to “escalate” the problem. If they won’t listen, let the Church deal with them, or even alert the mods if they are breaking forum rules.

Alan
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I think a lot of times the intention is to back up the point. In other words, if someone has been taught their entire life that Catholic worship Mary and some Catholic says, “Oh that’s just a myth we don’t worship Mary,” that fellow is likely to just say to himself, “Oh well this Catholic doesn’t even know what her Church believes,” or, “well at least this Catholic isn’t an idolator good for her,” but he isn’t necessarily likely to say “oh you don’t? Oh well ok then.” When everyone else comes in and says “no, we don’t worship her,” the person is more likely to say, “wow it looks like a lot of them seem to be saying this maybe it’s true.”
 
I think the biggest mistake is believing that you can convert anyone. We are messengers of truth…but the Holy Spirit does all of the heavy lifting.

The sceond biggets msitake is tyops:o
 
I think a big mistake is to judge motives or assign blame for the other person’s resistance. This can come from simple frustration: “If you don’t get this, you must be trying not to get it. I’ve explained it so clearly, the only way you could still disagree is if you want to disagree. Your pride is preventing you from accepting the truth.” The irony of this attitude was lost on me when I have been guilty of it.
 
Giving answers to their questions without first asking them questions to clarify their belief. When I keep my wits about me and carefully ask questions on why they believe what they believe, or why they think what I believe is not accurate, it takes me off the defensive and a discussion begins instead of an inquisition! I got this tip from John Martignoni - it’s a good one!
 
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