Birthday depression due to estranged mom

  • Thread starter Thread starter bclustr9
  • Start date Start date
Status
Not open for further replies.
B

bclustr9

Guest
So my bday is coming up and I can’t help but feel depressed, because I haven’t seen my mom in over 16 years.

She’s never been in my life in a way that is loving and kind. In fact, I spent most of my childhood being dumped off on other people because she’s never had an interest in being my mom. I still have a lot of resentment that I’m working through and I am trying to forgive, but it is hard because she is not apologetic or remorseful for anything she put me through growing up, such as abuse and neglect.

She has never wanted to discuss anything from the past and instead just avoids me.

My birth wasn’t planned by my mother but I know that it was planned by God. How should I feel about my birthday?
 
Last edited:
First, Happy Birthday. My birthday is Friday and I have dealt with many of the same issues you are only I think
I am much much older.

I will pray for you. I hope you will be able to reconcile
with your Mom somehow. I would suggest praying for her.

You are correct. You were planned by God. God loves you and has a plan for you.

God gave me 2 mothers. I wish I could have reconciled with them before they died. One was in too
much pain and I could not get close to her. The other
was missing most of my life. I knew her briefly.

So I will pray you can find peace with your Mom. Keep
reaching out, but also keep taking care of yourself in
spite of the void you feel.

Do something nice for yourself on your birthday. It is
okay to celebrate YOU.
 
Last edited:
Happy birthday in advance! God does not make mistakes and you are here because one of you was needed. Never forget that you can control your actions but not those of others so don’t blame yourself for your mother’s actions. Just pray for healing for her, when we hurt others, it is because there is something wrong with us too. Maybe send a message and start by something small. Pray and do not worry.
 
I actually don’t think your birthday is the day to try and reconcile with your mom. It could be filled with too much emotion. Go to mass instead and offer your prayers for her. Send her a message and call her and tell her you were thinking about her, but don’t try and “start” anything more.

I think that in order to feel any kind of comfort, you need to forgive your mom for her neglect and abuse. Even if you were never to speak to her about it, try and forgive her, because that is what will bring you peace. Forgiveness should never be conditional of the other person being remorseful or sorry, because sometimes, it never comes.

I wish you a happy birthday! Please do something to celebrate with friends, or family. It’s your special day.
 
Last edited:
bclustr9 said:
How should I feel about my birthday?
Click to expand...
Apparently your mother has some issues. You shouldn’t let that bring you down. Your birthday shouldn’t be a sad reminder of your mother’s not so stellar capabilities. She’s a person just like any other. Her failures were certainly harmful to you as a child, but you have the capability to rise above that now. You should be able to understand the nature of people and that your mother is probably a wounded one. I don’t doubt she either had a past herself or some kind of mental illness. Either way, there’s no need to be depressed about her shortcomings. Be happy that you’re not tied down by baggage from the past, and that you are free to move ahead as you please despite a rough upbringing. That should be cause for happiness not depression.
 
Last edited:
Happy Birthday, Kevin!
I hope you have a blessed, peace-filled day making new and happy memories with friends. God is happy you are alive. Ask your guardian angel to share some of his joy with you.
God bless!
 
Happy birthday 🎂

God loves you. Regardless of your mom’s failings, you are planned, wanted, and loved. God planned you; He wants to see you in heaven; and He loves you!

I hope you find an enjoyable way to celebrate today.
 
Although you could probably benefit from speaking to your mother, eventually, make this day for, and about you. This is the day that God saw fit for your birth. So Happy Birthday!!!
 
7_Sorrows said:
God gave me 2 mothers. I wish I could have reconciled with them before they died. One was in too
much pain and I could not get close to her. The other
was missing most of my life. I knew her briefly.
Click to expand...
7_Sorrows, Happy Birthday and may God’s love envelope you.
 
Do you have others in your life to celebrate or that you are close with? When my birthday comes around I don’t even give my Mom a thought. Even when she sends a card, it’s nice, but I really am more happy with birthday wishes from my best friend, my husband and my kids.

When my parents call on my birthday it’s fine, but most of the time they don’t even come to mind on my birthday. (They come to my mind on their birthday… LOL… but not mine). Perhaps your issue is more the alienation and poor up-bringing you had and the emotional hurt you say you are working on (I assume with therapy) but please don’t let her ruin YOUR birthday! Celebrate your special day with friends and people that love you. 🎂
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back
Top