Blessing a angry and sad house

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chrisroe

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Hi,
My family just moved into my husbands childhood home. His father is in an assisted living home and we are buying the house to help pay for this.

My problem is that there has been 35 years of anger and saddness in this house. My son (who is now so sad and lonely all of the time) and husband(who is so angry and down) and me ( all I want to do is sleep -which is what I do when I am down) we all feel so different when we come home. When we are out at work or school or just shopping we are all pretty happy people.

I noticed this feeling when I was just visiting this house and my husbands parents were still living here. My husband would be so mean and angry to his parents and they to each other. But my husband is really a gentle loving man.

My son is in need of some help so I decided to get him therapy. He is a great person with a heart of gold. And to see him so sad it is hard to know what to do.
 
Hi chrisroe and welcome to CAF!

I would say that you should call your parish’s priest or deacon to come and bless the house. I did the same for my apartment where I live.

The blessing of the house is important but what more important is the people living in the house. You should pray for your family for forgiveness, loving, and better communication, and anything that God wants you to do.

Pray for your husband and his parents to be healed from whatever in the past that hurt them. Pray for one another to be able to forgive others’ wrong doing. Pray for family members to have better communication.

For your son, I don’t know what to recommend but sometimes how parents and family members treat each other can affect the mood and other thing to children.

Getting some sort of professional help is also important.

May God’s peace be with you and your family.
 
Have a priest bless the house, and seek professional help. It could just be old memories that are causing the anger or saddness, or it could be demonic work. Best not to take chances, though.
 
chrisroe said:
Hi,
My family just moved into my husbands childhood home. His father is in an assisted living home and we are buying the house to help pay for this.

My problem is that there has been 35 years of anger and saddness in this house. My son (who is now so sad and lonely all of the time) and husband(who is so angry and down) and me ( all I want to do is sleep -which is what I do when I am down) we all feel so different when we come home. When we are out at work or school or just shopping we are all pretty happy people.

I noticed this feeling when I was just visiting this house and my husbands parents were still living here. My husband would be so mean and angry to his parents and they to each other. But my husband is really a gentle loving man.

My son is in need of some help so I decided to get him therapy. He is a great person with a heart of gold. And to see him so sad it is hard to know what to do.
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Hello and Welcome to CAF! 🙂

I think you have a couple of different things going on here. First, I think it is a good idea to have a home blessed by a priest. Just call the rectory and make an appointment. 🙂

Your description of each of you indicates a round of depression for all concerned. Therapy can be very helpful, but I think that it is important to further explain your family’s faith life. Depression has many causes, some of which are inherited biologically but other causes vary widely. I find that some who are depressed benefit from therapy and possibly medication. Many people who suffer from depression need a stronger faith life. Depression is rampant in my family and I find that some have found better ways to cope with it than others.

I will add your family to my prayer list. God bless you.

Kelly 🙂
 
chrisroe said:
Hi,
My family just moved into my husbands childhood home. His father is in an assisted living home and we are buying the house to help pay for this.

My problem is that there has been 35 years of anger and saddness in this house. My son (who is now so sad and lonely all of the time) and husband(who is so angry and down) and me ( all I want to do is sleep -which is what I do when I am down) we all feel so different when we come home. When we are out at work or school or just shopping we are all pretty happy people.

I noticed this feeling when I was just visiting this house and my husbands parents were still living here. My husband would be so mean and angry to his parents and they to each other. But my husband is really a gentle loving man.

My son is in need of some help so I decided to get him therapy. He is a great person with a heart of gold. And to see him so sad it is hard to know what to do.
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I agree with the other posters–a house blessing is always a good thing! 👍

Do you have any sacramentals in your house? Perhaps a crucifix over the front door?

This is a completely non-religious suggestion, but maybe changing the house up would also have a positive effect. If there are lots of negative memories associated with the house, perhaps try to make it look like a new house that belongs to your family. Lighter paint colors, more light, etc.

Also, build some good memories…holidays…family board game nights. That takes some effort, but you need to have some good memories to replace the bad ones. 👍

I also agree with the other posters that it sounds like depression is also a big problem here and needs to be treated.
 
I would agree with the other posters that say that blessing the house should be something that you do. I would also recommend talking to the priest as well. I pray that you and your family can break this cycle that you seem to be in.

If after the blessing of the house, things do not chance, I would suggest selling the house. You family is more important than this place that will continue to drain you and your family.

I also agree with kevinsgirl, put several statues of saints or crucifixes in the house.
 
I would certainly get the house blessed by the priest for the simple reason that it is your new home, but first I would call the fire department or gas company today and get the house tested for carbon monoxide or other toxins in the air, and also check the water supply and venting on the plumbing. I would get everyone in the family a physical right away, because if the whole family is suffering the same way a common physical cause that can be diagnosed is the most likely reason.
 
I never thought of getting the air and water checked out. Thank you for that thought.
 
chrisroe said:
Hi,
My family just moved into my husbands childhood home. His father is in an assisted living home and we are buying the house to help pay for this.

My problem is that there has been 35 years of anger and saddness in this house. My son (who is now so sad and lonely all of the time) and husband(who is so angry and down) and me ( all I want to do is sleep -which is what I do when I am down) we all feel so different when we come home. When we are out at work or school or just shopping we are all pretty happy people.

I noticed this feeling when I was just visiting this house and my husbands parents were still living here. My husband would be so mean and angry to his parents and they to each other. But my husband is really a gentle loving man.

My son is in need of some help so I decided to get him therapy. He is a great person with a heart of gold. And to see him so sad it is hard to know what to do.
Click to expand...
I agree with having the house blessed. However, the symptoms you describe is more to do with depression than being sad. I recommend a good Christian based family counselor. Also, get you son involved with the Church’s Youth group (if he is of that age). Pray alot. Pray as a family. Expecially for you and your husband … pray as a couple.

We will be praying for you.
 
Thank you for your concern and I do agree that it could be depression. My son and I both go to therapy. The only thing that bothers me is we are both troubled at home not in the outside world. I’ve asked his teachers over and over and they say he is the same pretty much as before.
Thank you
 
Get the furnace checked for a low-level carbon-monoxide leak. Also, consider have the furnace ducts cleaned as well as the carpet.

If there is mold in the walls, that can contribute to feelings of lethargy. It really sounds like some sort of environmental contamination.

While I think having a priest bless the house is a very good thing, I would like to see you home blessed by a furnace repair technician, carpet cleaners and air-duct cleaners. And possibly a home inspector who checks for mold. The “blessings” of your home from those people would be valuable too.

🙂
 
I will check into this more. We have hot water heat and did get the carpets cleaned and all the furniture that we kept. But there is a problem moldy spot in the lower bathroom that my husband suspects is going to need a lot of work. I am alergic to mold and dust and when I spend time in basement for more than 10 mins. I get light headed and need to go up stairs. Thank you and God bless you.
chris
 
chrisroe said:
I will check into this more. We have hot water heat and did get the carpets cleaned and all the furniture that we kept. But there is a problem moldy spot in the lower bathroom that my husband suspects is going to need a lot of work. I am alergic to mold and dust and when I spend time in basement for more than 10 mins. I get light headed and need to go up stairs. Thank you and God bless you.
chris
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this is an emergency, get it checked out right away. if there is mold you can see, there is a lot more you can’t see, and it is a problem for experts to deal with, not DIY, and is a lot more likely to be responsible for your family’s symptoms than demonic influence.
 
puzzleannie said:
this is an emergency, get it checked out right away. if there is mold you can see, there is a lot more you can’t see, and it is a problem for experts to deal with, not DIY, and is a lot more likely to be responsible for your family’s symptoms than demonic influence.
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This is all very correct.

Your problems with depression and sadness may be rooted in the mold. It is a well established medical fact that exposure to certain types of mold can bring on or exacerbate depression. (That does not mean that you should also not talk to a counselor.)

If it is so moldy in the basement that you cannot stay down there for more than a few hours, then it is all over your home in lower concentrations.

Do not delay. Address the problem immediately. Keep in mind that repair costs may be covered by your home owner’s insurance so check with your agent.

In the mean time, get some heppa air filters and run them on high. get one for each bedroom and a big one (or two) for the basement. Get extra filters and change them frequently. When you change the filters, at lease the first couple of times, where a dust mask.
 
I will call our insurance company today to see if the clean up will be covered. Thank you for your imput. God bless.
chris
 
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