Bored with life

[EphelDuath]

Disclaimer: this is not about depression or suicide, please don’t mistake it as that.

But, I am quite bored with life. The only moment of the day I look forward to is when I go to bed, because at least I’m comfortable, even if I’m bored.

I dunno what it is about life that I find so unappealing. I feel like if I got hit by a car tomorrow, died, and ended up in heaven, I would have absolutely no regrets at all, except that I could not enjoy life more.

I feel like I just want to run away and join a monastery. (I don’t know, can you do that? Or is there some kind of trial/waiting period?) I don’t think life will be any more attractive there, but at least I can be pious while I’m waiting for my judgment in that scenario.

Anybody know what I’m going through? Please no “go out and make friends!” or cheesy type answers like that. I know that if I have hope in the Lord that my soul will end up OK, I’m just really fed up with living.

 

[Danuska]

Disclaimer: sorry for the cheesy/stupid answer.

I have been through something like that, and well it was the beginning of depression…I realized that best when I had a car accident, and I just felt that if I had died in it, it woud have been fine with me.

Well, clearly nothing drives you in life - that is what I would suggest that you look at, if you have a goal in life, something to achieve, something to look forward to, then your perspective changes as well. Or are you concentrated too much on yourself?

Spiritually, I would suggest to make peace with yourself. I read this small exercise from a Jesuit priest - go through your life, from the early childhood up till now, and note down all the names of poeple who were important for you, friends, teachers, enemies, everyone. And pray for each of those poeple, for those who have hurt you, for those you have hurt - you’d be surprised how much unforgiveness is still in you… at least I did, and watching others, I am surprised how many other poeple have the same problem. So have reconciliation with everyone (you do not need to contact them, just pray for them and offer them to Jesus) and then have a good confession, and start over again. Maybe attend a retreat and study the Word of God, there are hundreds things actually, I am not sure which would be best for you.

 

[Danuska]

PS

Disclaimer: this is not about depression or suicide, please don’t mistake it as that.

I feel like I just want to run away and join a monastery. (I don’t know, can you do that? Or is there some kind of trial/waiting period?) I don’t think life will be any more attractive there, but at least I can be pious while I’m waiting for my judgment in that scenario.

It would not be a good idea, it sounds like you want to escape from life. And surely, such experiences are our trials, it is your trial too, once you get on the other side of it, you will thank God for sending it you way!