Boyfriend living with other girls?

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Hey, this is my first “thread” (or what ever it’s called)…
Anyway–
Recently, by boyfriend of 1 1/2 years was asked by one of his friends from high school (a female) to rent a cheap house next year with her and her friends (2 other females and 1 male). He told her he would think about it and he asked me what I thought. I told him that it was a bad idea, since he would be living with girls, and because that particular group of people is into partying a lot. He assumed that I felt this way because I was jealous and didn’t trust him. He assured me that even if he were to live with them (he has decided not to), nothing would happen, and I believe him, but I still think that is a situation that he should not put himself in. What are some thoughts on this? Am I overreacting to worry so much about a situation like that? Or are my beliefs in the best interest for him and for us?
 
It sounds like a very bad idea. Besides the near occasion of sin, no doubt there will be times when he and one of his female friends will be alone together in the house, it is also scandalous. Even if his intentions are honorable, I seriously doubt it will stand the test of time. The only question would be, if he is of exceptional moral fiber, will he bail out in time.
 
A couple of more thoughts. I find it interesting that this female friend thought of a male friend to invite as a roommate. Is that to make even couples?

I would ask your boyfriend how he felt if the situation were reversed and it was you and another girl shacking up with a couple of guys. If he said that it would be no problem, he is either a liar or your relatinship has serious difficulty.

Ask him to talk to the priest (or minister) about the living arrangements and see if they see a problem, if he doesn’t accept your problems with this arrangement.
 
I agree with the above poster. This would be a near occasion of sin and scandalous. Plus…I doubt if the situations were reversed that he would be cool with you living with other guys. The only person you should live with of the opposite sex who is not related to you is your spouse. Period.
 
I agree with all of the above posts. In addition, and as tactfully and sensitively as possible, I would ask you how strong his morals are. What I mean is, if he’s willing to entertain the idea of rooming with two other females, is this person fit to be your spouse someday? Could the situation arise, if you were to marry, that down the road one of your sons wanted to room with a girl or two, and you and your husband were divided on the issue?

It sounds at first impression as if he is standing on shaky legs, morally speaking. My guess would be that if this is coming up now, it’s not the first time the two of you have been divided on an issue of what is right, or what is wise to do.

Because you are posting here about this, I believe you have both wisdom and conscience. My first concern is that you are with someone who is going to protect those things, not undermine them.

Grace and peace to you,

Mary
 
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pnewton:
A couple of more thoughts. I find it interesting that this female friend thought of a male friend to invite as a roommate. Is that to make even couples?

I would ask your boyfriend how he felt if the situation were reversed and it was you and another girl shacking up with a couple of guys. If he said that it would be no problem, he is either a liar or your relatinship has serious difficulty.

Ask him to talk to the priest (or minister) about the living arrangements and see if they see a problem, if he doesn’t accept your problems with this arrangement.
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I personally as a guy would NOT do this, especially as a Catholic. I would imagine what God and EVERYONE at church would say? Also, this is semi-disrespectful to you. I would go bonkers if I had a serious commited relationship with a woman I intend to one day marry, and she was to live with MALE roomates.
 
I dunno. Is he the kind of person that might give into the temptation? I know I shared an appartment with a female for awhile and I swear on my graphics card we never, ever
did anything illicit. We never even saw each other in a state of undress. At least… I don’t think she ever saw me. o.O
 
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decisions:
Hey, this is my first “thread” (or what ever it’s called)…
Anyway–
Recently, by boyfriend of 1 1/2 years was asked by one of his friends from high school (a female) to rent a cheap house next year with her and her friends (2 other females and 1 male). He told her he would think about it and he asked me what I thought. I told him that it was a bad idea, since he would be living with girls, and because that particular group of people is into partying a lot. He assumed that I felt this way because I was jealous and didn’t trust him. He assured me that even if he were to live with them (he has decided not to), nothing would happen, and I believe him, but I still think that is a situation that he should not put himself in. What are some thoughts on this? Am I overreacting to worry so much about a situation like that? Or are my beliefs in the best interest for him and for us?
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I don’t think that this is an issue of trust, but of human nature. I think that young people are especially naive about this. It sort of takes experience to understand that even a good, moral person can fail in a moment of temptation. The best course is to simply avoid situations that offer such temptations. I know that life is chock full of moments when we have to make a decision to do what is right or wrong, but why willingly put yourself in a potentially uncomfortable situation?
 
surf(name removed by moderator)ure:
I agree with all of the above posts. In addition, and as tactfully and sensitively as possible, I would ask you how strong his morals are. What I mean is, if he’s willing to entertain the idea of rooming with two other females, is this person fit to be your spouse someday? Could the situation arise, if you were to marry, that down the road one of your sons wanted to room with a girl or two, and you and your husband were divided on the issue?

It sounds at first impression as if he is standing on shaky legs, morally speaking. My guess would be that if this is coming up now, it’s not the first time the two of you have been divided on an issue of what is right, or what is wise to do.

Because you are posting here about this, I believe you have both wisdom and conscience. My first concern is that you are with someone who is going to protect those things, not undermine them.
Click to expand...
I agree. So often, when people come here with these kinds of questions, it seems like more times than not, they already know the answer to their question and are looking for support. You have our support and encouragement!
 
surf(name removed by moderator)ure:
I agree with all of the above posts. In addition, and as tactfully and sensitively as possible, I would ask you how strong his morals are. What I mean is, if he’s willing to entertain the idea of rooming with two other females, is this person fit to be your spouse someday? Could the situation arise, if you were to marry, that down the road one of your sons wanted to room with a girl or two, and you and your husband were divided on the issue?

It sounds at first impression as if he is standing on shaky legs, morally speaking. My guess would be that if this is coming up now, it’s not the first time the two of you have been divided on an issue of what is right, or what is wise to do.

Because you are posting here about this, I believe you have both wisdom and conscience. My first concern is that you are with someone who is going to protect those things, not undermine them.

Grace and peace to you,

Mary
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Great post!
 
I would honestly ask him what organ is he thinking with in considering this coed living arrangement? (maybe not, but this is how guys talk to each other to cut through the chase of what the underlying motives are or might become).
 
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decisions:
Hey, this is my first “thread” (or what ever it’s called)…
Anyway–
Recently, by boyfriend of 1 1/2 years was asked by one of his friends from high school (a female) to rent a cheap house next year with her and her friends (2 other females and 1 male). He told her he would think about it and he asked me what I thought. I told him that it was a bad idea, since he would be living with girls, and because that particular group of people is into partying a lot. He assumed that I felt this way because I was jealous and didn’t trust him. He assured me that even if he were to live with them (he has decided not to), nothing would happen, and I believe him, but I still think that is a situation that he should not put himself in. What are some thoughts on this? Am I overreacting to worry so much about a situation like that? Or are my beliefs in the best interest for him and for us?
Click to expand...
sounds to me like he wants to move on, and he is doing what he knows will push you into shoving him out the door, and he gets to maintain the high road “so to speak”…

I hope your heart isn’t breaking over this guy/jerk… i wish you peace… he will get his, i promise you, just don’t let him drag you down with him…

take care…
 
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