Breaking the 4th Commandment?

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Christbearer98

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I’m a bit divided with my parents in terms of where my life is going right now. I’ve felt a calling into ministry that’s stronger than I can explain, but my parents (being non-practicing Catholics) obviously don’t see that as good enough reason to make the dramatic changes I want to make in my life.

I’m trying to leave my current university program because I have a job opportunity and want to study theology part time while I work. They don’t want me to leave my program, take the job, or study theology haha…

The last day to drop courses is tomorrow. If they don’t change their mind, would disobeying them by dropping my courses without their consent break the Commandment to honour and obey my father and mother? I love them with all my heart. I don’t want to hurt them, but I don’t want to go along with their plan for me either.
 
Christbearer98 said:
I’m trying to leave my current university program because I have a job opportunity and want to study theology part time while I work. They don’t want me to leave my program, take the job, or study theology haha…
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Whelp, it’s your life and you’ll have to make these decisions for yourself.
 
Who is paying for the classes and your living expenses? Not saying that determines the exact answer, but if you are fully self sufficient, I think they have little say, as far as obedience goes. But if they are paying for it all, it seems like they should have some (name removed by moderator)ut.
 
My advice would depend on your honest self assessment of how your studies are going and far along you are. If you’re anywhere near getting your degree you will probably regret dropping out at some point. If part of wanting to change gear stems from college being not for you for some reason or another then you should communicate that to your parents as well.
 
What would be the harm in finishing your studies, which would please your parents, and pursue your other opportunities later? Yes, there will be other opportunities.

It doesn’t matter whether your parents are practicing or non practicing Catholics. They are still your parents and you must obey them. They want the best for you.
 
If you are going to be supporting yourself, then, you are a grown up and can do what you wish.

If you are expecting them to foot the bill, it would be basic respect to have a discussion and agreement with them.
 
lilypadrees said:
It doesn’t matter whether your parents are practicing or non practicing Catholics. They are still your parents and you must obey them. They want the best for you.
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Well, only if he/she is a minor. However, I agree that a wiser plan is to finish studies first.
 
Even if the person is an adult, he or she must obey his or her parents especially if the parents are paying the tuition for that education.

When the college age student has a self supporting job, moves out of his parents home and into his own apartment and his parents aren’t paying for school or anything else, then he gets to make his own decisions.

But just disagreeing with parents about whether or not to quit school and take a job that may not work out is no excuse. Parents are a font of wisdom. They’ve done more living and had more experience than their children. When they tell you not to do something, it’s not because they want to squelch your dreams. It’s because they want you to have the necessary wisdom and education to handle the hurdles you will face in life. They are preparing you for the future.

Don’t diss your parents. You can learn a lot from them. If you reject their sound advice now, you will regret it later when they are no longer around to turn to.
 
Obeying your parents is no longer Church teaching? The Bible says we are to honor our parents and to obey them in the Lord.

Where I live, if you live under your parents roof and they are footing the bill, you must still obey them, even if you’re an adult.

The OP didn’t say his parents didn’t want him to pursue what he perceives to be his calling at all. They just want him to finish his education first and not drop the program he’s in.
 
Obedience to one’s parents is a form of honor. I honor my mother by listening to her sound advice and following it.
 
lilypadrees said:
Parents are a font of wisdom. They’ve done more living and had more experience than their children. When they tell you not to do something, it’s not because they want to squelch your dreams. It’s because they want you to have the necessary wisdom and education to handle the hurdles you will face in life. They are preparing you for the future.
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I’m many things, but, I am not a “font of wisdom”. Most people I know would say the same thing.

We have adult children, we did the “preparing for the future” when they were little kids and adolescents. If a parent has succeeded their child is ready to hit the ground as an adult, ready to take on the responsibilities and be a good citizen by the time they reach majority.

The goal is not to have an adult child, in college or the workplace, who cannot make their own informed decisions. Sure, I will give advice if asked, but, I trust that my adult child has a good head on his shoulders.

With age comes experience, but, I do not know everything. I want my sons/daughters to spread their wings and fly, I did my mommying.

I was not financially dependent on my parents after high school, my kid was taught the same sort of self sufficiency and has excelled.
 
That is fine, but it is not a moral absolute. I only give my adult kids (college grads) advice when they ask for it. Its completely up to them if they follow it. I certainly don’t tell them to do things expecting obedience.
The commandment could say obey, it doesn’t, it says honor. I believe St Paul explicitly says children when he refers to ibeying parents.
 
lilypadrees said:
Where I live, if you live under your parents roof and they are footing the bill, you must still obey them, even if you’re an adult.
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If I did that I’d have ended up in a mental hospital rather than out on my own, I’m pretty sure. My mother I think would have preferred I stay at home, dependent, and obedient, than out on my own handling my own life.

@Christbearer98, how far along are you? If this job opportunity will allow you to support yourself, it might be worth seeing if you can finish your degree part-time, especially if it’s one that will allow you future skills for employment. There are often ways to transfer your credits to other institutions that might be more flexible with working hours.

Also, if you’re in the U.S., are you able to qualify as an independent student?
 
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If you’re an adult then you have the right to make your own decisions.
 
Catholics don’t eliminate the second commandment. We include it with the first.
 
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