C
concerned87
Guest
All right… here we go. The facts?
My brother is getting married in 2 weeks. He was raised Roman Catholic, and is very familiar with the religion. He chooses not to practice as a catholic, but rather as a nondenominational Christian.
His bride-to-be is an only child. Her mother is a devoted catholic woman with strong unwavering beliefs. The bride however is much like my brother. A Christian familiar with Catholicism, but chooses to practice as a non-denominational Christian. The bride’s father is not involved in her life. She has no close male family members or friends, but wants to keep catholic views and protocol in her wedding ceremony for the sake of tradition.
When the bride was 6 years old, her father left unexpectedly to peruse a PhD. After moving away for some time, the bride’s mother chose to pack my soon to be sister in-law up and move her across the country to be a family again. This attempt failed miserably. Soon she found out that her father had several other children scattered across the country and another wife in another state. Her mother did everything she could to keep her and her father’s relationship alive, but it failed time and time again. Her father made it nearly impossible her mother to keep up with his secret moves from state to state. She followed him restlessly for years. He refused to return phone calls for months at a time, has excuses to rationalize his absences nearly every time he has ever made plans to see her. He however sent the brides mother money every month to assist in supporting the bride as a child until she was 18. After age 18, he began sending the bride money for 6 months after she gave birth to their first child. A kind gesture, but she really wanted to see her father.
It just seems to me from the way she talks about him, that he was financially supportive but didn’t intend to see her again. She has said these words to me.
He said he would be at her first communion, high school graduation, the birth of both of her children and has made excuses to have missed them all. Since the bride was 6 years old, she has only seen her father approx 5 times and had a returned phone call approx the same number of times.
My brother and his bride had a rough start. They are high school sweethearts who started their family at the very young age of 18. They lived with my parents for quite some time. a year perhaps. My mom and dad love and adore his fiance. My dad has been a father figure for her since she was 16 years old. He is not her biological father, but he loves her as much as he loves my brother, any of my other siblings and me. He would do anything for any of us.
The bride told her father that she was getting married, gave him times, dates, and locations. He made no indication that he had any interest in attending.
The bride asked my dad if he would walk her down the aisle. I think he was shocked and completely flattered and giddy at the thought that she considered him. He was honored.
The bride’s mother has really been on the brides coat tails about this idea. She in convinced that this is a sin and the bride is breaking one of the commandments: to honor and obey mother and father. She has been obsessive and relentless about the bride asking a non-family member to walk her down the aisle because her biological father is still alive, but not present. She insists that the bride walk by herself if not with her biological father. She has even made it seem that she does not want to attend the wedding because she considers this disobeying and dishonoring her, her mother. She tells the bride she misinterprets what the bride has read, which refers to the bride walking with her father in the wedding processional as an exchange of property as a tradition. The idea is not that MY father is giving her away to MY brother, but rather to include my father in the wedding and walk with an older, male role model who she loves and respects. Her intention was not to dishonor or be disrespectful to her absent biological father.
So… that’s the back story. The basic question is: Through the eyes of a Roman Catholic, is it a sin or breaking a commandment to have the grooms father walk the bride down the aisle?
I realize this is not traditional, but is it WRONG in the eyes of roman catholic church?
Please help us find an answer… I have never even heard of anything like this at all. I can’t find anything about her mothers concerns. I just want to make sure the bride’s mother finds comfort. In the case that she is correct, the bride and groom would consider changes to her walk down the aisle. The bride truly wants her mother to find peace in her choice, but also wants to have her wedding staged as the weddings she experienced as a child.
My brother is getting married in 2 weeks. He was raised Roman Catholic, and is very familiar with the religion. He chooses not to practice as a catholic, but rather as a nondenominational Christian.
His bride-to-be is an only child. Her mother is a devoted catholic woman with strong unwavering beliefs. The bride however is much like my brother. A Christian familiar with Catholicism, but chooses to practice as a non-denominational Christian. The bride’s father is not involved in her life. She has no close male family members or friends, but wants to keep catholic views and protocol in her wedding ceremony for the sake of tradition.
When the bride was 6 years old, her father left unexpectedly to peruse a PhD. After moving away for some time, the bride’s mother chose to pack my soon to be sister in-law up and move her across the country to be a family again. This attempt failed miserably. Soon she found out that her father had several other children scattered across the country and another wife in another state. Her mother did everything she could to keep her and her father’s relationship alive, but it failed time and time again. Her father made it nearly impossible her mother to keep up with his secret moves from state to state. She followed him restlessly for years. He refused to return phone calls for months at a time, has excuses to rationalize his absences nearly every time he has ever made plans to see her. He however sent the brides mother money every month to assist in supporting the bride as a child until she was 18. After age 18, he began sending the bride money for 6 months after she gave birth to their first child. A kind gesture, but she really wanted to see her father.
It just seems to me from the way she talks about him, that he was financially supportive but didn’t intend to see her again. She has said these words to me.
He said he would be at her first communion, high school graduation, the birth of both of her children and has made excuses to have missed them all. Since the bride was 6 years old, she has only seen her father approx 5 times and had a returned phone call approx the same number of times.
My brother and his bride had a rough start. They are high school sweethearts who started their family at the very young age of 18. They lived with my parents for quite some time. a year perhaps. My mom and dad love and adore his fiance. My dad has been a father figure for her since she was 16 years old. He is not her biological father, but he loves her as much as he loves my brother, any of my other siblings and me. He would do anything for any of us.
The bride told her father that she was getting married, gave him times, dates, and locations. He made no indication that he had any interest in attending.
The bride asked my dad if he would walk her down the aisle. I think he was shocked and completely flattered and giddy at the thought that she considered him. He was honored.
The bride’s mother has really been on the brides coat tails about this idea. She in convinced that this is a sin and the bride is breaking one of the commandments: to honor and obey mother and father. She has been obsessive and relentless about the bride asking a non-family member to walk her down the aisle because her biological father is still alive, but not present. She insists that the bride walk by herself if not with her biological father. She has even made it seem that she does not want to attend the wedding because she considers this disobeying and dishonoring her, her mother. She tells the bride she misinterprets what the bride has read, which refers to the bride walking with her father in the wedding processional as an exchange of property as a tradition. The idea is not that MY father is giving her away to MY brother, but rather to include my father in the wedding and walk with an older, male role model who she loves and respects. Her intention was not to dishonor or be disrespectful to her absent biological father.
So… that’s the back story. The basic question is: Through the eyes of a Roman Catholic, is it a sin or breaking a commandment to have the grooms father walk the bride down the aisle?
I realize this is not traditional, but is it WRONG in the eyes of roman catholic church?
Please help us find an answer… I have never even heard of anything like this at all. I can’t find anything about her mothers concerns. I just want to make sure the bride’s mother finds comfort. In the case that she is correct, the bride and groom would consider changes to her walk down the aisle. The bride truly wants her mother to find peace in her choice, but also wants to have her wedding staged as the weddings she experienced as a child.
