Bringing gf to mass...problems

  • Thread starter Thread starter Argh
  • Start date Start date
Status
Not open for further replies.
A

Argh

Guest
So i might have convinced my gf to go to mass with me this Sunday, but it kinda just occured to me that she “cant” receive communion and will be stuck in the pews all alone…kinda embarassing isnt it?

Second, I have never met the new priest at my old church. The two churches in my area merged into one (mine) and shortly after we got a new priest. I was an alter boy for a long time and I knew him pretty well (he baptised and confirmed me). Should I like, introduce ourselves and tell him she’s not Catholic or ???

And I have no idea how my old priest spelled his name, but it was Fr. (pronounced) “Guide-us”, but more like Guyhdus. So that’s why I dont refer to him by name, in case ur wondering.

Finally, should I , I guess, show her how to cross herself and use holy water fonts?

I have no idea how to approach this…maybe I shoulda thought this through better.
 
40.png
Argh:
So i might have convinced my gf to go to mass with me this Sunday, but it kinda just occured to me that she “cant” receive communion and will be stuck in the pews all alone…kinda embarassing isnt it?

Second, I have never met the new priest at my old church. The two churches in my area merged into one (mine) and shortly after we got a new priest. I was an alter boy for a long time and I knew him pretty well (he baptised and confirmed me). Should I like, introduce ourselves and tell him she’s not Catholic or ???

And I have no idea how my old priest spelled his name, but it was Fr. (pronounced) “Guide-us”, but more like Guyhdus. So that’s why I dont refer to him by name, in case ur wondering.

Finally, should I , I guess, show her how to cross herself and use holy water fonts?

I have no idea how to approach this…maybe I shoulda thought this through better.
Click to expand...
I am a convert. I spent 9 months in RCIA before I could receive communion. There is nothing embarrassing about staying in the pew. If she would prefer, she can go up in line and receive a blessing. She simply crosses her arms over her chest in an “x” and then the priest/deacon will give a blessing instead of communion. Many people do this.

If you do not know your priest, you can introduce yourself and your girlfriend. No need to tell him that she is not Catholic. You could say, “Hello Father, my name is Joe Smith and I’m a parishioner here. This is my girlfriend Susie and she is visiting us today.” Or whatever. No need for any details or anything that would make her uncomfortable.

Introduce her to the Mass beforehand. If you cannot get a guide to the Mass at a local Catholic bookstore before Sunday, this website I found looks pretty good. Go through it together:

grigaitis.net/articles/guide/

Use the Missalette or whatever worship aid is provided at the church and follow along and show her what to say/do.

Also, this Sunday is Palm Sunday and next Sunday is Easter. You might explain the “extra” stuff going on beforehand, like the Palms, etc.

Remember to tell her that as a non-Catholic and a guest she is free to sit instead of kneel. She does not have to participate in all the liturgical posture, etc.
 
Remember to keep your focus on what’s important. Catholics don’t attend mass for the purpose of spotting and silently rebuking others in the congregation for missteps…DRAT I forgot about everyone who posts in the Liturgy & Sacraments threads. (Just check profiles and make sure none of them are in your parish and you should be fine.)

All kidding aside…her first visit should be one of reverent observation, not full participation. If she is sincerely interested in knowing you, and participation in your faith is vital to you, she should welcome this invitation as a sign of the depth and sincerity of your character and intentions.
 
I like the idea of showing her the holy water fonts and the like, but I’d suggest showing her by visiting the church well before Mass so as not to make a spectacle out of showing her.

Alan
 
At least your GF is willing to go with you. I wanted to take my ex to a Christmas Midnight Mass, and she flat out refused even though she planned on being up at that time. She simply wouldn’t have anything to do with my faith. That relationship certainly wasn’t going anywhere 😛
 
40.png
Argh:
So i might have convinced my gf to go to mass with me this Sunday, but it kinda just occured to me that she “cant” receive communion and will be stuck in the pews all alone…kinda embarassing isnt it?

Second, I have never met the new priest at my old church. The two churches in my area merged into one (mine) and shortly after we got a new priest. I was an alter boy for a long time and I knew him pretty well (he baptised and confirmed me). Should I like, introduce ourselves and tell him she’s not Catholic or ???

And I have no idea how my old priest spelled his name, but it was Fr. (pronounced) “Guide-us”, but more like Guyhdus. So that’s why I dont refer to him by name, in case ur wondering.

Finally, should I , I guess, show her how to cross herself and use holy water fonts?

I have no idea how to approach this…maybe I shoulda thought this through better.
Click to expand...
It’s great that she’s willing to go with you! 🙂

Tell her about how the Mass is structured (and maybe also talk about the meaning of the different parts). Maybe while you are there with her, you can hold the booklet in front of her and flip through the pages so that she could follow. I didn’t know what was going on when I first started attending Mass, and following in the booklet really helped!

Also tell her about genuflecting, holy water etc. I felt awkward when I saw people do these things, and was afraid of doing something wrong!

I didn’t have a problem with being unable to receive Communion. (Make sure you make it clear to her that she can’t receive!) Practically, she should sit on the end of the pew so that she is not in the way when people file out and then come back in. Maybe you and she could sit in the back corner where she will not feel conspicuous.

Ask her to be open to God when she is there. I had intense spiritual experiences the first few times I went to Church.
 
I would tell her about genuflecting, but only ask that she does it if she believes that Jesus Christ is present in the Eucharist. Because when we do that, we are doing it because Jesus is in the Tabernacle. Some non-Catholics think we do it to the cross that is usually in the front of the church. Also, she may feel uncomfortable with the font and crossing herself. When I was just starting in RCIA I was uncomfortable with all that stuff, but as I began to understand the Mass more, then I participated more.
 
40.png
Argh:
So i might have convinced my gf to go to mass with me this Sunday, but it kinda just occured to me that she “cant” receive communion and will be stuck in the pews all alone…kinda embarassing isnt it?
Click to expand...
Simple solution: stay there with her!
 
40.png
Argh:
So i might have convinced my gf to go to mass with me this Sunday, but it kinda just occured to me that she “cant” receive communion and will be stuck in the pews all alone…kinda embarassing isnt it?

Finally, should I , I guess, show her how to cross herself and use holy water fonts?

I have no idea how to approach this…maybe I shoulda thought this through better.
Click to expand...
I have been going to Church with My husband since we were dating (I’m just now converting) But for years I’ve sat in the pew, I never once felt embarrased. If you explain it to her, I don’t see why she should feel embarrassed. The church is not exclusive - Welcome her in, explain how it all works - because it is different if you’ve never been. But if she understands what is going on, she wont’ feel lost or embarrased at all.
 
40.png
Timidity:
Simple solution: stay there with her!
Click to expand...
I would second that.

There is no requirement for a Catholic to recieve the Eucharist at each Mass they attend.

If you feel that it would help her feel more comfortable and eventually draw her towards the faith, make the personal sacrifice and remain in the pew with her.
 
That would probly work, ty.

We still hafta figure out what time we could go and she’s really uneasy about it, understandably, so I still gotta do some more convincing.

And I dont know if her parents might intercede when they find out. While they probly wouldnt expressly say “no”, they’d probly conveniently have a project for her to do. But maybe I’m just being paranoid…
 
Well I guess she cant make it, her band directr is making her come in early to help pack up for the band trip (her marching band’s going to Scotland for Spring break).

But she’s quite open to it. So that’s good news. I’ll see if we cant still go to my church’s shrine to Mary Saturday-explain rosary, offer flowers, etc.

my gf - “I’ll endure it” but hey, its a start.
 
40.png
Argh:
So i might have convinced my gf to go to mass with me this Sunday, but it kinda just occured to me that she “cant” receive communion and will be stuck in the pews all alone…kinda embarassing isnt it?

Second, I have never met the new priest at my old church. The two churches in my area merged into one (mine) and shortly after we got a new priest. I was an alter boy for a long time and I knew him pretty well (he baptised and confirmed me). Should I like, introduce ourselves and tell him she’s not Catholic or ???

And I have no idea how my old priest spelled his name, but it was Fr. (pronounced) “Guide-us”, but more like Guyhdus. So that’s why I dont refer to him by name, in case ur wondering.

Finally, should I , I guess, show her how to cross herself and use holy water fonts?

I have no idea how to approach this…maybe I shoulda thought this through better.
Click to expand...
A friend of mine asked me to go to Mass with him at the beginning of the school year and it really did scare me. I am not catholic and had never been to Mass before. But my friend made me feel really confortable and explained everything to me before Mass and then answered my questions after. It is unconfortable staying in the pew, but I wouldn’t say embarassing. I go to Mass every Sunday and feel very confortable there. But these things do take time to get used to.
So I would recomend that you should do what you can to explain the Mass to her so she is not in the dark about what is going on. You could stay in the pew with her to make her more confortable. Or she could go up and not recieve the Eukarist, but get a blessing from the preist. All she has to do is cross her arms over her chest. This is what I do because I am not Catholic, and in my opinion it is much better than staying in the pews.
 
It didnt, she had to go help pack up for her bands trip to Europe (she leaves tomorrow…/sob). But like I said, she’s very willing to go to mass. So now she owes me 1 mass, among other things.

And I learned something wierd over the weekend. Apparently, the former priest of a nearby, Father Ed, refused to baptise me until my mother went to church for 6 months and give money to the church. My parents werent married in the church and were divorced by the time my mother wanted to baptised me. Apparently, Father Ed then baptised the child of a un-wed mother he knew without the whole 6 month waiting period. So I cant help but feel slightly rejected.
 
Check with your Parish for Baptismal Prep. My Parish states on the front of the bulletin each week that there is a preparation period for Baptism and parents should contact the office to begin the process as early as possible. Unless there is eminent danger of death, the Church wants to know that the parents undertake the sacrament of baptism seriously.

For paying money to the Church, there are costs associated many things – and I’ve never seen a case when these minimal amounts were not waived for those who were unable to afford them.

Sometimes, there is a variance between ones perceptions and the facts; someone in an emotional state (and after civil divorce and the birth of a child, one would be understandably emotional) may have events clouded by those emotions. Thank God your mother worked through that hard time and presented you for baptism! She showed great faith and courage by following through on your baptism.

This should maybe become a new topic
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back
Top