Broken friendship

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halogirl

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Hey friends. Thanks in advance for any advice. A friend has drifted away from me, due to a wider split in a friendship group, at what point do I stop trying to reach out to her? I really miss her and miss my group although still friendly with several of them. I’ve suggested meeting her for coffee, catching up over summer and she hasn’t agreed. I’m always the one to message her.
Back story is I believe she’s sided with the main girl in the group, who has totally cold shouldered me after someone lied to her about me,( telling her I had said something that I haven’t and never would.
I’m hurt that someone I thought was a friend is not prepared to mend bridges, and hurt that the other person accepted this lie about me without question and I’ve lost friends now. I have lots of other special friends but don’t want to lose this one. Any advice at all? I’ve prayed for the friendship to be mended but if she’s not taking my hints for meeting up, am I just wasting my time? If so, how can I heal from this? The sad part if we are the only two Christians in the group 😦 I’m one of those loyal for life people and it feel like I’m back in high school . Thank you guys xxx love in Christ
 
Do you think it would be a good idea to give them some space? I was able to forgive some friends after being away from them for some time so maybe it might work for your friend.
 
Thank you for your advice Andrew. 🙂 I have lots of other friends but I don’t know I just hate giving up in folk especially when it wasn’t my fault. I would always like to think there was chance for reconciliation but maybe I’m just being too optimistic. Thanks for replying to me x 🙏 . All of this happened less than a year ago just for context
 
Haven’t seen her since her August wedding, and messaged only once every couple months since then. I didn’t have a direct falling out with her so I don’t get why she’s so cold other than she has sided with the ‘mean girl’ of the group.
 
halogirl said:
Thank you for your advice Andrew. 🙂 I have lots of other friends but I don’t know I just hate giving up in folk especially when it wasn’t my fault. I would always like to think there was chance for reconciliation but maybe I’m just being too optimistic. Thanks for replying to me x 🙏 . All of this happened less than a year ago just for context
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You know, people can be fickle and who knows? Maybe at some point she’ll reach out to you again. But I would really think about how good of a friend she really was if she has cut you off for no reason other than she’s being influenced by someone else.

Honestly, I would just let this be.
 
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Hmm possibly. Although they lived together for two years before marriage and she hangs out with other people from the group . I like your profile pic btw 🙂 thank you for your advice
 
Been there.
Done that.
It sucks.
It gets better.

In the end if you stay close to our Lord He will send not only all the love you need but also all the friends you need…might be one or might be a whole congregation!
 
Thank you so much ! It sounds stupid but it’s like being dumped almost - I didn’t want the friendship to end and that choice has been taken from me. Hope at the very least we can sort it out in heaven 🙂
 
halogirl said:
I’ve suggested meeting her for coffee, catching up over summer and she hasn’t agreed. I’m always the one to message her.
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If you keep reaching out and she’s not reaching back, it would appear she doesn’t want to be your friend any more, and you’re just wasting your time chasing after her.

People end friendships for a lot of reasons. Most people are not “loyal for life” to friends because we grow and change and the person who was a good friend to us at one time might not be such a good “fit” 5 years down the road.

I would suggest that you just let it go and stop trying to contact her, and focus your efforts on making new and better friends. If she wants to contact you at some point in the future, you can decide then whether you want to resume the friendship with her in view of her behavior.
 
They - lived together - for two years - before marrying - ?
and she was the only Christian - in your group - besides you - ?
Didn’t you warn her about living together…?
 
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I only got to know her after she moved in and then found out she was a Christian (I’ve know her husband 20 years). Also I wouldn’t feel right telling someone else how to live I’m in the uk and honestly, people just don’t do that here it turns people away.
 
This has happened to me before. I had a falling out with a friend back in college and Im pretty sure she smeared my name after that since all my other friends stopped talking to me as well. There are better people out there for you. I know it hurts but its better to move on with your dignity in tact. God has better things in store for you. God bless you! Virtual hugs for you :hugs:
 
Thank you Mary. I have always experienced the fact that God doesn’t take something away unless you are meant to have something better xx
 
Absolutely. Another thing that could be going on though is that she is going through something in her personal life and feels embarrassed to bring it up. Sometimes friends drift away because they have family or personal problems and the stress is so much they can’t “fake” being okay but they also don’t feel comfortable unloading their problems on their friends. You know the situation better though. So, if you think this may not be the case then I would say just go with your gut. Prayers for your though. Don’t stress out too much about it. It will work its self out in time.
 
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