Broken Lights. Did I do something wrong?

[teachccd]

I am a parent, and as such, I know to look beyond the surface when judging an event.

The OP kicked a soccer ball where she should not have kicked it. The ball hit a couple of pipes in the locker room for sure, which she admitted to the coach. A light was broken by a ball kicked by another youth. Those are the certain things that happened. That’s the surface.

Just under the surface, able to be perceived by those who know her or those who are sensitive to the trials of scrupulous people, lie the obsessive concerns that torment the scrupulous. “Did I adequately describe the wrong I did?” “Maybe what I did was worse than I thought!” “Am I responsible for the bad actions of others?” “Is it my fault if something really bad happens, no matter how unlikely?” “Was this a mortal sin?” “Can I be saved?”

As a parent, I know that to go in with guns blazing will do nothing but hurt this young person. It will not inspire her to be more responsible - she’s already hyper-concerned about that. She needs someone to help her calm down, take a breath, and see exactly what happened before she figures out how guilty she is. She does not need someone making assumptions (uncharitable ones at that) about her motives and her maturity or lack thereof.

BarbKW, or BKayW, or whatever name you’re using today, I can understand that, as a business owner, you may have had experiences with irresponsible young people who vandalized your property in order to attract attention to themselves. Perhaps you’re still smarting from a recent incident. However, you are an adult, and should have the wisdom to know that not every instance of property damage is intentional. You identify yourself as a cradle Catholic, so you should know about rash judgement.

You owe the OP an apology.

Yes, I am a parent as well. I totally agree and that’s why we make good parents. Most kids make some mistakes as do most adults. But many will not admit to the guilt of their wrong. Life is a learning process and there are no more dangerous people in this world than those who think that they’re perfect and have nothing left to learn. I’d rather be the parent of the OP than associate with those who are so quick to condemn…

 

[Barbkw]

“The OP was NOT deliberately and wantonly destroying property, and CERTAINLY NOT doing so because they found the destruction of said property enjoyable.”

When young adults take two soccer balls into a room that is not intended for that use, and begin kicking the balls up into the ceiling and around the room, it is deliberate and the actions that they create have destruction calculated into them.

This young adult wants to know if his/her actions were wrong, and if he/she failed to do something.

I owe this young adult the truth, not an apology for his/her action.

 

[John_of_Woking]

Just under the surface, able to be perceived by those who know her or those who are sensitive to the trials of scrupulous people, lie the obsessive concerns that torment the scrupulous. “Did I adequately describe the wrong I did?” “Maybe what I did was worse than I thought!” “Am I responsible for the bad actions of others?” “Is it my fault if something really bad happens, no matter how unlikely?” “Was this a mortal sin?” “Can I be saved?”

.

Exactly - and this can lead to despair. Well said balto…

 

[teachccd]

Five year old children know they should not kick a soccer ball inside of a room that is not intended for that use.

Don’t many adults “kick a soccer ball inside of a room that is not inteneded for that use” when they sin? Isn’t any wrongdoing childish? When an adult gossips, lies. steals, cheats, gives in to sexual sin, or commits any uncharitable act are they not like someone kicking a ball around in a forbidden area? Jesus sees all of us like misbehaving kids and yet He never ceases to forgive. He died because we should know better but we don’t. Now give this person a break and step of off the high horse…teachccd

 

[teachccd]

“The OP was NOT deliberately and wantonly destroying property, and CERTAINLY NOT doing so because they found the destruction of said property enjoyable.”

When young adults take two soccer balls into a room that is not intended for that use, and begin kicking the balls up into the ceiling and around the room, it is deliberate and the actions that they create have destruction calculated into them.

This young adult wants to know if his/her actions were wrong, and if he/she failed to do something.

I owe this young adult the truth, not an apology for his/her action.

The truth is that s/he told the coach and now seeks forgiveness and counsel. Not condemnation… I hear no counsel from those on this thread who are so quick to chastise…

 

[DexUK]

“The OP was NOT deliberately and wantonly destroying property, and CERTAINLY NOT doing so because they found the destruction of said property enjoyable.”

When young adults take two soccer balls into a room that is not intended for that use, and begin kicking the balls up into the ceiling and around the room, it is deliberate and the actions that they create have destruction calculated into them.

This young adult wants to know if his/her actions were wrong, and if he/she failed to do something.

I owe this young adult the truth, not an apology for his/her action.

Cruelty is the one thing that shocks me in this life because it’s so calculated and deliberate. Nobody is apologising for the OP’s actions. What we are doing is identifying that the gravity of the situation is nothing like as serious as you would wish the OP to believe and then beat themselves up about.

I will not believe or accept that the OP deliberately calculated to destroy property. It is cruel to seek to impose an unnecessarily harsh judgement of guilt upon a person, especially when the evidence does not support it. It is especially cruel when that person is already suffering from scrupulosity. Do you honestly think that such a scrupulous person is so calculatingly destructive? Do you honestly believe there was malice of forethought? Just how much of a plank is in your eye?

I am very glad you’re neither my parent nor my employer. Because I’d walk out of one situation and quit the other. It’s rare that I find anyone quite so uncharitable.

To the OP, you made a mistake due to over exuberance. You owned up to your part in it, which was the responsible thing to do. That’s all you needed to do. Try not to repeat the experience but don’t spend time obsessing about it. If you’re still worried about it, well just consider yourself hugged.

 

[Angel7]

It wasn’t intentional.

I tried to hit the ball lightly, but I apparently hit the ball harder than I thought twice. and both times I think hit the pipes.

I did try to tell the coach everything I did, but then I remembered I forgot to say some of the other things. I only remembered about the pipes, and I didn’t (out of embarresment for maybe worrying too much) ask him about the mercury.

I do feel bad for one other thing. The first time the ball hit the wall it almost hit a friend of mine in the face. Most of the people in the room were laughing, and I laughed too. I’m glad he didn’t get hurt, but I do feel bad about laughing when he almost got hit.

Thank you for the responses.
and no one needs to apologize it’s fine.

 

[angelerulastiel]

When young adults take two soccer balls into a room that is not intended for that use, and begin kicking the balls up into the ceiling and around the room, it is deliberate and the actions that they create have destruction calculated into them.

I don’t think it is exactly a room “not intended for that use.” It’s a locker room. If it is not built such that it can’t handle balls being thrown or kicked in it, it’s not much of a locker room. Balls get thrown, kicked, and they are sometimes used a a practice room.