Brooding over injuries

[lena28]

At what point does brooding over wrongs become gravely sinful?
If you have already forgiven someone and tried to let the irritation go but it comes back and you end up telling someone else about the wrong, is that a mortal sin?

I once heard that when Jesus said we should forgive our brother 77 times, that also means that when we remember the wrong 77 times we should be prepared to forgive again.

Any thoughts?

 

[JohnMPhilomena]

At what point does brooding over wrongs become gravely sinful?
If you have already forgiven someone and tried to let the irritation go but it comes back and you end up telling someone else about the wrong, is that a mortal sin?

I once heard that when Jesus said we should forgive our brother 77 times, that also means that when we remember the wrong 77 times we should be prepared to forgive again.

Any thoughts?

That would be a good thing to discuss in confession with your priest. I doubt it is a mortal sin.

Yes we do have to try to keep forgiving. Wounds take time to heal. But we have to resist the temptation to keep bringing them up to others in an effort to affirm how wrong the other person was.

The 77 times or seventy times seven as I’ve also seen it - is just meant to show that we must keep giving our forgiveness. How often do we sin and then ask the Lord to forgive us. If we want Him to keep forgiving us, we must keep forgiving others. But we are imperfect and need to keep trying.

I would think it would become grave when we refuse to forgive someone or we take some action in retaliation. But again - discuss it with your priest.

 

[odile53]

You know, we’re supposed to love our neighbor in the same way we love ourselves. Think about this, if you will:

Every time I recall a past injury, I feel myself starting to re-live the event. I start to experience the same stress, the same emotions, the same hurt. For me, telling another person about the event yet again doesn’t relieve my emotional pain, it tends to increase it because those emotions are again replayed.

Is that very loving toward myself?

If I’m willing to put myself through this yet another time, how much self-respect am I showing? And how loving can I be toward another person (not necessarily the perpetrator of the original offense?) if I’m so stuck in this that my blood boils, my stomach churns, and my neck veins distend every time I think about this event? In such a state, I’m more likely to be very annoying to be around.

And aren’t I giving that perpetrator power again, power to actually hurt me yet another time, every time I relive the injury?

We all know the bad health effects of chronic stress. Resentment that is not resolved is chronically stressful to the body, as well as to the mind and spirit. So if I’m re-living this experience again and again, over time, I’m actually giving the perpetrator of the original event permission to actually kill me.

That’s what resentment can do.

You know, even if God didn’t care whether we gave a rusty rat’s posterior about our fellow human beings, and even if Christ did not order us to love one another, the advice to forgive “seventy times seven” is still good advice. Look at the wear and tear forgiveness saves on our hearts, minds, and souls! We even look better—we have a calm and pleasant expression, we’re more interested in life all around us, than when we are scowling or weeping over an old injury. We’re more attractive to others, other people who want to befriend us and with whom we can share much.

The self-destructiveness of chronic resentment is a sin in so many, many ways.

And look at the time and energy forgiveness saves, time and energy that we can better use enjoying God’s generosity in our lives, and praising His holy name in all areas of our lives.

Let’s give ourselves a decent break: Forgive, give the perpetrator of the injury to God, and move on with life.