Brother with Antisocial Personality Disorder

[Starr555]

I have finally come to the realization that my brother has Antisocial Personality Disorder. Long story short: he had a history of lying and stealing since childhood; he failed out of college but didn’t let my parents know; got married and stole my father’s identity to pay for his family needs; he has never called my parents when they were ill (only to ask for money; which they gave him); he has a history of quitting jobs and is now living in Florida and teaches but can’t afford rent. He lives in his truck. His wife calls me to ask for my (name removed by moderator)ut. I have made it clear that I cannot support him. I live with my mother who also has some mental health issues. What do I do? I am torn with grief over his situation; I’m told he “hates” me. I haven’t really talked to him much in 25 years. As a Catholic and someone who feels for him (the poor; needy), what can I possibly do?

 

[Irishmom2]

You can pray for him. That might be all you can do until he decides he wants to get help for himself. It is difficult to watch a loved one when you know their life would be better if only they would change something, but they won’t.

 

[0Scarlett_nidiyilii]

I’m so sorry.

Family life gets so messy. It would be really nice if everybody around us walked the straight and narrow (it would be nice if I walked the straight and narrow ), but we don’t, and it lands us in situations where the right thing to do simply isn’t clear.

In broad strokes, yes, prayer and fasting for him.
You can give emotional support to your SIL and to him, if he ever decides you’re not to blame.

He needs to step up and find counseling for his problems. Was he ever given an official diagnosis?

As needs arise, you may address them on a case by case basis. I prolly wouldn’t funnel large amounts of cash to him.

ray:t2:ray:t2:ray:t2: For you all

 

[Legend]

I see from your posting history, that he hasn’t been handling his finances well…for at least 11 years! Most people would have given up on him quite a while ago!

Unless you have unlimited funds to draw upon, anything you do for him, at this point, is just enabling him! Hope he gets his act together while he’s still in good health. I don’t like to see anyone suffer…but, anyone who gets into the habit of enabling him won’t have anything to help him (or themselves) with in times of sickness, or advanced age.

 

[TheLittleLady]

I have finally come to the realization that my brother has Antisocial Personality Disorder.

My advice, unless you are a professional it is not helpful to diagnose our family and friends.

Your brother has had problems for a long time, and, needs your prayers. Hopefully he will find social worker who can help get him into some program that will help.

 

[Retsel]

and is now living in Florida and teaches but can’t afford rent. He lives in his truck. His wife calls me to ask for my (name removed by moderator)ut.

A teacher who has no money, a wife who stays?
It sounds like they may be using alcohol/drugs to cope with the disorder.

Many ADP’s are very successful at gaining wealth and secular fame. Their assets/fame shield them enough where as they don’t need alcohol or drugs.

This disorder (sociopath), is one of the hardest to help or cure.
Antisocial personality disorder - Diagnosis and treatment - Mayo Clinic

I suggest prayer, love and no money.