Bummed Out: How to Explain Church Teaching on Contraception to Loved Ones

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David_B

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How might one go about explaining how contraception is morally wrong and must not be used? It seems quite the uphill battle to even try to convince people to take NFP seriously…not sure if its accurate but last I read nearly 80% of Catholics use some form of artificial birth control.

It almost seems like a futile effort this day in age, considering how traditional teaching seems to be going more and more out the window.
 
David B:
How might one go about explaining how contraception is morally wrong and must not be used? It seems quite the uphill battle to even try to convince people to take NFP seriously…not sure if its accurate but last I read nearly 80% of Catholics use some form of artificial birth control.

It almost seems like a futile effort this day in age, considering how traditional teaching seems to be going more and more out the window.
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State the Church’s teachings and why you believe them. I bet you’ll be ridiculed by, say, 80% of the loved ones.

Thank God the Church isn’t throwing traditional Church teaching out the window.
 
David B:
How might one go about explaining how contraception is morally wrong and must not be used? It seems quite the uphill battle to even try to convince people to take NFP seriously…not sure if its accurate but last I read nearly 80% of Catholics use some form of artificial birth control.

It almost seems like a futile effort this day in age, considering how traditional teaching seems to be going more and more out the window.
Click to expand...
I’d suggest you visit www.omsoul.com and order materials from them. They have lots of brochures and tapes.
 
I’m a new Catholic, so what I say may not be in accord with Church teachings. I am hammering out my philosophy about contraception; it’s a big change for me.

This is what I think.

It’s easy to see that God gave mammals sex purely for reproduction; females won’t accept males unless the females are in a fertile period.

We humans, though we’re mammals, are different. I believe that we are the way we are because God meant us to have free will in the matter of reproduction. As with Adam and Eve, He wants us to choose wisely.

Like Adam and Eve, many people have chosen poorly!

When I look around this beautiful world, and see the beauty of His creation, and realize that creation is an ongoing process… I take things, like the swallow now nesting on my front porch, personally. To me, it’s a message from the Lord telling me He loves me. (The same message is available for anyone, of course.)

Looking at that, I find it incredible that I ever put myself in the way of that creation, that I interfered with it for my own selfish reasons. (I was on the pill for about 20 years.) God might have wanted to use me to make a new person, and I denied Him. :crying:

Just think - if the Blessed Virgin Mary had denied Him, where would we be?

On a more pragmatic level, it makes sense to me that using contraception leads to the thinking that pregnancy is an easily avoided inconvenience; and thinking like that leads to abortion for the purpose of birth control.

Last but not least, the pill and other methods, by removing the most obvious reason to avoid promiscuity, have been a major factor in the spread of STDs.

The government of Uganda, to deal with AIDS, actively promoted abstinence and faithfulness to one’s spouse. :clapping: Their rate of AIDS infection dropped from 13 per cent to 5 per cent. 😃

Other countries have promoted condoms - and their rates haven’t decreased much.

As for NFP, those who don’t take it seriously probably think it’s just the old “rhythm method.” It’s not; it’s quite scientific, and when done right is 99 per cent effective.
 
I believe that a large reason why folks use contraceptives against Church teaching is that they are ignorant of the degree of self and relationship degradation that this ushers in. Taking the faith route, I would try a basic catechesis of their God given dignity in Christ as a starting point.

Explain to them what sin is and why repenting and avoiding sin is relevant to them having a joyful and fulfilling life in preparation for life eternal. That God is the Creator, knows everything through and through, by nature is only good, all good. To deviate from His design is irrational and cannot bear any ultimate good or lasting fruit. That turning from God will eventually catch up, either on this side or the other of death, if not reckoned with in a corrective way. I would throw in that daily about us there rages a non-stop, all out bloody spiritual war between the fallen angels (demons), headed up by their commander in chief (satan), and the holy angels, and the booty they are fighting for is souls to win over to eternal hell or eternal heaven.

Finally, if they are still listening, give them the punch line: through the additive effect of our daily lifelong choices, we each send ourselves either to hell (eternal agony beyond our worst nightmare) by refusing God’s loving initiatives; or to heaven (eternal bliss beyong our best imagining, the beatific vision) by cooperating with God’s grace and provision through the sacrifice of His Son Jesus Christ.

Forgive my rambling in this 6th grade clift notes version, but I am serious. I believe that too many folks do not know (or believe) the basics of the faith, walk through the days of their life with a partial/distorted conception of reality, and are vulverable to the wiles of the devil who is the prince of this fallen world. Then pray that the Holy Spirit will convict them in their wrong headednes or hardness of heart.

Romans 10: 14, 17 “But how can they call on him in whom they have not believed? And how can they believe in him of whom they have not heard? And how can they hear without someone to preach? …Thus faith comes from what is heard, and what is heard comes through the word of Christ.”

St. Paul also address the dismal statistics (today Catholics disobedient of Church teaching) of “disobedient and contentious people” believers even in his day–“So also at the present time there is a remnant [faithful to God], chosen by grace” (Romans 11: 5).
 
Good advice for quick rejoinders is already given.

But take the long view. You’re likely to be rejected, even scoffed at for a while. Cherish your wife. Make sure she know it. Live simply (cheaply). Accept kids joyfully. Pray hard.

When half your relatives are divorced and miserable, you’ll be a shining beacon of the splendor of truth!
 
Focus on how the church see sex as sacred and how all human life is valued by the church.

If you can read Pope John Paul the Great’s Theology of the Body.
 
I have sometimes tried to explain it in the context of natural law. I have had some success with this in ethics classes, RCIA classes, and a Paul VI class on sexual morality I sometimes teach. I use it with Humanae Vitae

Here it is (very rough):

Genesis 1 tells us that every thing God made was good (Cf. Wisdom 11:24). Therefore, “good” means something like “being as God intended.”

Genesis 1 and 2 (since this is before the Fall, it is before sin clouded the issue) show a twofold purpose for sex: Procreation (Genesis 1:28) and Unity (Genesis 2:24).

Therefore sex is good in the contexts of procreation and unity. Sex is bad when we act against those purposes.

Contraception acts against the purpose of procreation and is therefore wrong. NFP does not *act against * the purpose, it only makes use of the natural reproductive cycle.

Show them this is kind of reasoning is behind most (if not all) Catholic teaching on sex. For example:

Adultery and Fornication are wrong in violating the unity aspect of sex. Homosexuality and Masturbation are wrong in violating the procreative aspect. None of these (contraception included) can be made to fit God’s plan for sex and are therefore intrinsically immoral.

What is important is that (as a general rule) it is wrong to act against God’s purposes.

Another approach is to meditate on Ephesians 5 (especially v. 31-32) where the sexual relationship is compared to the relationship between Christ and the Church. Both relationships should be faithful and fruitful.

Hope it helps,

David
 
David B:
How might one go about explaining how contraception is morally wrong and must not be used? It seems quite the uphill battle to even try to convince people to take NFP seriously…not sure if its accurate but last I read nearly 80% of Catholics use some form of artificial birth control.

It almost seems like a futile effort this day in age, considering how traditional teaching seems to be going more and more out the window.
Click to expand...
David B,

I know this will help you out. Read Posts 109-112, 119, 120 on this previous contraception thread. It’s easier for me to post the link rather than repost everything again.

forums.catholic-questions.org/showthread.php?t=38397&page=2
 
Ok guys, we need to stop quoting the 80% of Catholics use contraception. There is no study I am aware of that demonstrates this. The 70%-80% that gets thrown around is from a poll that asked Catholics if they thought contraception was always wrong in every circumstance. The fact that 70-80% said no merely (so to speak) testifies to bad catechesis (and possibly bad polling). It in no way follows that 70-80% of Catholics actually use contraception. If someone is aware of a study that shows this, please share.

Scott
 
David B:
How might one go about explaining how contraception is morally wrong and must not be used? It seems quite the uphill battle to even try to convince people to take NFP seriously…not sure if its accurate but last I read nearly 80% of Catholics use some form of artificial birth control.

It almost seems like a futile effort this day in age, considering how traditional teaching seems to be going more and more out the window.
Click to expand...
David,

Your question reminds me of my mother-in-law’s response when she found out that my wife and I (she having returned to the Church and I having converted) weren’t going to use artificial birth control. She and I had quite the heated discussion and she demanded to know why we were doing such a thing. I asked her, “Have you read Humanae Vitae?” “No,” she said angrily, “Why would I want to do a thing like that?”

Explaining to them may indeed be futile, but perhaps a gentle expression of “We will not prevent you from using artificial birth control and we ask that you not try to force it upon us” would help. I surmise that deep down, most people know that the Church is right, and if somebody actually follows the Church’s teachings they feel guilty. There’s a line in Wisdom of Solomon about that.
  • Liberian
 
I would just add a ton of “Amens” to the posts and one article, “That Celibate Bachelor Was Right!” here on Catholic Answers.

“Be a beacon, live by example, others feel guilty because the Church is right.” I agree with every statement. Pray, pray, and plant seeds. (As my mom would say) You might not know when they change their ways, but they still might change.

I know how you feel. In our family only my parents agree with what we do. My siblings support us but do not agree. DH’s family (not Catholic) think we’re crazy.

Don’t try to hard to change them. If you grow in holiness, that grace will flow to them.
 
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