Business Trip = Miss Mass For Most Of Year

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No, I am not.

I’m done. I’m put off by the stereotyping.
 
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Relax, dud(ette). Being semi-tongue in cheek here.

Although too-young marriages ARE a thing in the military…stereotypes usually exist for a reason. Maybe not in the Air Force where everyone is super smart and mature and nerdtastic, I dunno.
 
BoomBoomMancini said:
stereotypes usually exist for a reason
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That’s not the best reason for perpetuating them, however. On any level.

LOL. I’ve met some dumb Lts in my day. 🤣🤣🤣🤣

And a few idiot colonels, but that’s another story. As I tell my friends who ARE O-6s, it’s always a colonel’s fault. 😁😁
 
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Hello all! Thank you for the awesome (name removed by moderator)ut I need to consider!

Here’s my background:

My husband and I have been married 18 years and he’s had 3 jobs for which he had to travel. It was incredibly rough for me to work full time and take 3 little kids to daycare and back while he was in New York state, Oregon State, at Walt Disney World, etc, seeing famous people in the airport, eating in nice restaurants, going to new places. He used to be in the National Guard, too, and thank goodness he’s out, because in addition to his Mon - Fri business trips he had to leave on Sat & Sun guard weekends. At one point the Guard took him away for 5 months for training. I had absolutely no support system. Those were dark days in our marriage.

Since those days we’ve followed the Dave Ramsey plan to pay off all our debt, except our mortgage. Since we’ve always practiced NFP we were able to have a 4th baby, I quit my job, we added square feet onto our house without adding onto our debt, homeschool, and are currently in the process to foster-to-adopt; this is all fruit from paying off debt. Our future plan is to have another bio baby before entering menopause, foster-to-adopt more children, continue to homeschool, and if we were able to pay off our mortgage sooner rather than later it would help ease the burden of all this (hospital insurance deductible, orthodontist bills, and eyeglasses every year, are all a pain!) and would allow us to donate more often to Catholic Answers. =)

I think I can handle one whole school year without him because my oldest is now driving AND we’ve built up a support system around us. Plus, with the knowledge that we’d pay off our mortgage and how much fruit we could bear because of that would keep us motivated. However, I don’t want to trade in God for money. And my husband is leaning toward not going because he’s already missed so much of our children growing up that he doesn’t want to miss any more.
 
BoomBoomMancini said:
You mean you’ve met some who WEREN’T dumb? Or at least, painfully confused?
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(avoids stereotypes)(coughs nervously)

🤣🤣🤣

I invoke my Constitutional right to the 5th Amendment.

And we better stop before they shut down this thread due to our derailment. LOL.
 
You asked us what we think. I think leaving for so many months is a bad decision. Is there any way the child who can drive could contribute money to the household? Is there any way you could rent a room of your house to a student? Are there places you can cut costs? Time together is the most precious thing of all. Have you considered extending your mortgage, since you could then have some extra money for the hospital insurance etc.? The reason I say this is you seem so close to paying it off, it can’t be a big debt.
 
China is a bad place to go. Think Yulin Dog Meat Festival and other things.
 
flatlanderjenn said:
Hello all! Thank you for the awesome (name removed by moderator)ut I need to consider!

Here’s my background:

My husband and I have been married 18 years and he’s had 3 jobs for which he had to travel. It was incredibly rough for me to work full time and take 3 little kids to daycare and back while he was in New York state, Oregon State, at Walt Disney World, etc, seeing famous people in the airport, eating in nice restaurants, going to new places. He used to be in the National Guard, too, and thank goodness he’s out, because in addition to his Mon - Fri business trips he had to leave on Sat & Sun guard weekends. At one point the Guard took him away for 5 months for training. I had absolutely no support system. Those were dark days in our marriage.

Since those days we’ve followed the Dave Ramsey plan to pay off all our debt, except our mortgage. Since we’ve always practiced NFP we were able to have a 4th baby, I quit my job, we added square feet onto our house without adding onto our debt, homeschool, and are currently in the process to foster-to-adopt; this is all fruit from paying off debt. Our future plan is to have another bio baby before entering menopause, foster-to-adopt more children, continue to homeschool, and if we were able to pay off our mortgage sooner rather than later it would help ease the burden of all this (hospital insurance deductible, orthodontist bills, and eyeglasses every year, are all a pain!) and would allow us to donate more often to Catholic Answers. =)

I think I can handle one whole school year without him because my oldest is now driving AND we’ve built up a support system around us. Plus, with the knowledge that we’d pay off our mortgage and how much fruit we could bear because of that would keep us motivated. However, I don’t want to trade in God for money. And my husband is leaning toward not going because he’s already missed so much of our children growing up that he doesn’t want to miss anymore.
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It’s tough. If you can make it work, honestly, I can see it working. If you can’t than don’t do it.

You have really little ones which would make it hard.

That said, with foster-to-adopt the extra stability of not having to pay for a mortgage would be really nice. You get a stipend for fostering. For a caring parent, this isn’t going to come close to covering the expenses to keep the child physically and mentally healthy. You also may want to check your state regs as some prohibit foster children from being homeschooled and others require an accredited curriculum. You could be looking temporarily at tuition depending on the age of the child. You also have to keep in mind that it may be necessary to get extra, private councelling for yourself and your children to help adjust to this new family member

He doesn’t want to miss any more of his children’s lives. I think that’s enough to say no to a school year. However, perhaps he can do a summer stint like his friend and make enough money to make a sizable dent in the remainder of your mortgage.
 
Pup7 said:
It isn’t less common in the least. I hear it every day.
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Discontent going into what ought to be a shared hardship is never good for a marriage. It never ceases to amaze me when people marry spouses whose occupational demands they ought to have been well aware of before marriage and then complain afterwards as if they did not choose both the hardship and the benefits that the hardship won for the couple.
 
Yes. All this. It drives me nuts.

My mom put up with just as much for far less than senior enlisted wives today (and even moreso when Dad was at the bottom of the ranks) and with ten times the hassle. The entitlement is incredible.
 
MCH1 said:
Your husband needs a dispensation from your pastor before missing mass, so talk to your priest if this the route you are going to take.
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If no Mass is available where you live, no dispensation is needed. We are not required by the church to only live where Mass is readily available.

Edit: @Xanthippe_Voorhees, I have no idea why this is showing up as a response to your post. 🙂 It wasn’t directed at you.
 
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