Butterflies in Your Stomach

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_AnnoDomini

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Hello! I was reading more about what the church teaches about romantic relationships, and I’m a bit confused. When I’ve gone on dates with guys or even just been around someone I like, I get that feeling commonly described as “butterflies in my stomach”. I was wondering if this is the same as lust, or if it’s a sin? I’ve never engaged in sexual activity with any of the guys I like, and I am saving myself for marriage.
 
_AnnoDomini said:
I was wondering if this is the same as lust, or if it’s a sin?
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No. That’s attraction, nervousness, and the excitement of possibilities. It’s normal.

If you are a minor, I’d encourage you to talk to your parents about dating and sexuality topics, rather than people in the internet. It’s not appropriate for adult strangers to speak to minors about this topic.
 
I’m a college student, but I’m new to Catholicism, so I was wondering what Catholics have to say on the subject! I grew up in a non-denominational Protestant environment, surrounded by people who believed that even masturbation wasn’t a sin.
 
_AnnoDomini said:
I’m a college student, but I’m new to Catholicism, so I was wondering what Catholics have to say on the subject! I grew up in a non-denominational Protestant environment, surrounded by people who believed that even masturbation wasn’t a sin.
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Catechism
2348 All the baptized are called to chastity. The Christian has "put on Christ,"135 the model for all chastity. All Christ’s faithful are called to lead a chaste life in keeping with their particular states of life. At the moment of his Baptism, the Christian is pledged to lead his affective life in chastity.

2349 "People should cultivate [chastity] in the way that is suited to their state of life. …

2362 "The acts in marriage by which the intimate and chaste union of the spouses takes place are noble and honorable; the truly human performance of these acts fosters the self-giving they signify and enriches the spouses in joy and gratitude."145 Sexuality is a source of joy and pleasure: …

2350 Those who are engaged to marry are called to live chastity in continence. They should see in this time of testing a discovery of mutual respect, an apprenticeship in fidelity, and the hope of receiving one another from God. They should reserve for marriage the expressions of affection that belong to married love. They will help each other grow in chastity.

2351 Lust is disordered desire for or inordinate enjoyment of sexual pleasure. Sexual pleasure is morally disordered when sought for itself, isolated from its procreative and unitive purposes.
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Baltimore Catechism No 3:
Q. 1324. In what does the sixth commandment differ from the ninth, and the seventh differ from the tenth?
A. The sixth commandment differs from the ninth in this, that the sixth refers chiefly to external acts of impurity, while the ninth refers more to sins of thought against purity. The seventh commandment refers chiefly to external acts of dishonesty, while the tenth refers more to thoughts against honesty.
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No.

Butterflies in your stomach means nothing more than you have feelings. That’s all. Feelings are ok. It’s ok to like someone, and even to be attracted to someone. That’s normal.

Lust is different. Lust is a disordered feeling towards someone reducing them to just an object.
 
I’m sorry, I don’t see how the Catechism says anything about so-called “butterflies.” Obviously chastity is very important, which is why I’m saving myself for marriage, but I’m just talking about, like, that feeling of excitement you get when talking to someone you like.
 
_AnnoDomini said:
I’m a college student, but I’m new to Catholicism, so I was wondering what Catholics have to say on the subject!
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I can recommend the following:

Real Love 2nd Edition by Mary Beth Bonacci

Theology of the Body for Beginners by Christopher West

Books and videos from Chastity.com
 
I have a woman I am interested in, and everytime I think of her smile, I smile. Nothing sinful, there.
 
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_AnnoDomini said:
When I’ve gone on dates with guys or even just been around someone I like, I get that feeling commonly described as “butterflies in my stomach”. I was wondering if this is the same as lust, or if it’s a sin?
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Nope, that butterfly feeling is not a sin - it’s completely natural and is a good thing! I know it can be a bit confusing, since common parlance treats the word lust as describing any sort of sexual desire. But the Church has a much more specific definition. Lust is when you use somebody to satiate your own desires, without any thought to them as a person. Love is meant as a two way street - list reduces it to one way - where you treat the other person as a tool and nothing more.

But those butterfly feelings, when tempered by chastity and by love for both God and the person those feeling are about, are not a sin, and are in fact part of Gods design.
 
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_AnnoDomini said:
I’m sorry, I don’t see how the Catechism says anything about so-called “butterflies.” Obviously chastity is very important, which is why I’m saving myself for marriage, but I’m just talking about, like, that feeling of excitement you get when talking to someone you like.
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I think he just quoted it as a reference.

What you’re describing is just normal attraction. There’s nothing wrong with you going on dates and feeling excitement and interest in a guy you like. If there were, how would people ever get married?

Attraction is different than lust. Attraction is fine and natural. It’s perfectly normal for young men and women to be physically drawn to one another. It’s kind of how God designed us to function.

Lust is different. Lust is taking that physical attraction and elevating it beyond all else. It’s when you reduce another human being to just a tool for your own sexual gratification.
 
My post was general referring to your statement:
I was reading more about what the church teaches about romantic relationships, and I’m a bit confused.
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Just so long as you don’t have them in your stomach on Fridays 😁 🦋 🦋 🦋

I am sorry, I couldn’t resist that.

And in all seriousness (?), they would not violate Friday abstinence. They’re not the flesh meat of animals. And in any case, I suppose you could always perform one of those alternative penances that we’re supposed to do, when we choose to eat meat on any given Friday…

There is no sin here. Enjoy your wholesome relationships with the opposite gender.
 
Because these feelings are simply feelings, one gets these “butterflies” before a job interview, before a performance, when meeting a new person, they are simply part of the human condition.
 
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