+veritas+:
I would recommend that you first go read Aquinas’ cosmological argument for the existence of a “God”. You can find that here at
newadvent.org/summa/100203.htm
I was in a strange mood when I wrote what I wrote. Please understand that I am afflicted with Schizoaffective Disorder, so my moods are known to rapidly shift to extremes at times. Right now I’m also going through a medication change (coming off an antidepressant temporarily) so the problem may be exacerbated tonight and this week.
Leaving that alone, I do not in my normal and sane mind question the existance of a God. I also understand why evil exists – it was explained to me clearly by a gentleman in California (whom I met at a Gym while I was in town for a technical conference back in 2001). Specifically, when you commit sins against God, he releases demons on you. In order for free will to exist, there must be evil to punish wrongs. (Of course, modern psychologists more recommend rewarding good than punishing bad.) Until one resolves the sin with God, one will forever be haunted by those demons.
Ask me, I know. I haven’t been to confession since 1998 (and that was something inside of me telling me that the literal demons that were haunting me were something I needed god’s help with). At the time, I had an “episode” where (I later realized) only I was hearing voices that were threatening my life in malevolent ways (for example, using talk of “abortion after birth” or otherwise trying to convince me that despite appearances I still hadn’t been born yet and could be aborted). Those voices later were commenting on my life like sports announcers (and I don’t normally listen to or watch sports, especially back then, so this very much couldn’t have come from my own brain). It had gotten so bad that my level of fear caused me to believe my father was trying to kill me and I got into a serious physical fight with him.
As long as I agreed to take the poison in the hospital (where I was taken instead of a jail when the police came), they would leave me alone. To this date I take that very real poison (I’ve experienced recently the first signs of permanent brain damage - tardive dyskenisia, and I’m aware of a very real life threatening side effect - NMS - Neuroleptic Malignant Syndrome).
While I know I now I have mental problems which started about that time, I also strongly suspect that demons (or the devil himself, if such a thing be one being) were directly responses for the voices i heard and the things I was perceiving. I also suspect demons are responsible for the emotional difficulties I still have.
OK. I know the bible stories are more for illustration of moral issues than they are dictations of raw truth (as is seen with the “four corners of the earth” stuff). I know I can enjoy the bible stories, but I also know I am probably the wrong person to interpret them.
I also am a recent subscriber to “The Catholic Answer” magazine, and ate up the November/December issue, loving everything I read in it (especially the stories about divine intercession – actual responses to prayers). I just received today (later) the September/October issue, and will dig into that when I’m ready.
I apologize for reading one or two things which were unclear to me and blasting my view all askew.
Regards,
-Rob