Can a Catholic guy marry a woman who had a kid out of wedlock

[workinprogress]

(I have noone in particular in mind, BTW, but should I find a cute woman who made mistakes in youth but straightened out and shares the Church’s moral beliefs and is preferably Catholic) If she had never been married before and the child being born was not a result of rape or in vitro (if that matters), can it be done or is consummation of lust binding as if they were married by their church? I think consummation matters in civil law, but is it so in Church law?

 

[rayne89]

If this women has never been married, then yes she is free to marry. Having sex with someone does not make you married.

 

[bear06]

(I have noone in particular in mind, BTW, but should I find a cute woman who made mistakes in youth but straightened out and shares the Church’s moral beliefs and is preferably Catholic) If she had never been married before and the child being born was not a result of rape or in vitro (if that matters), can it be done or is consummation of lust binding as if they were married by their church? I think consummation matters in civil law, but is it so in Church law?

You are free to marry since there was no marriage. Sex outside of marriage is a sin but does not bind a relationship. However, that said, it does take a special guy to raise another man’s child. I’ve known a few men who tried to take on this responsibility and have so far failed miserably due to the fact that they couldn’t live with the constant reminder of their wives sins. It is very sad for those children. I do know some men, however, who have triumphed greatly in this area!

 

[St.Catherine]

Assuming that she was either divorced with an annulment or was never married you technically could marry such a woman but do you really want to do that?

You need to evaluate what you want in life before dating someone with this life circumstance. For instance, does the child have a father that is active in his/her life? If so, what is he like? Could he make your life very difficult by contradicting everything you and the child’s mother try to teach the child? If they are divorced, you might want to know that divorce is even higher for people who have been previously divorced.

You are wise to ask this question even before you have met such a gal. Some people recommend making a list of what you want from a potential spouse. If someone doesn’t fit the bill, don’t bother asking them out in the first place. Obviously, you do not want to be too particular but there is nothing wrong with deciding that you simply do not want to be a step-parent and that you so not want to deal with someon’e ex. Also, you might want to know whether someone is educated, whether they value education, and whether they are up to their eyeballs in debt.

 

[AmyS]

I had a child out of wedlock, got married (it was civil though), got a divorce (with councel from my priest at the time), got annulment, and remarried in the Catholic Church to my current husband. There are extras that come with marrying a women with a child. I made sure my husband was clear on them before we even got engaged. He gets along great with my ex (it had been six years since he and I had been together) my ex was at my wedding. My daughter is the love of my life, my husband understand that, and is a great step-father. My daughter loves my husband. It is work though, they had to grow to understand eachother too. His love for me was that strong to take it all on.