Can a non practicing Catholic couple have a church blessing?

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Yingal83

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Hi there

I’m a non practicing Catholic from Belfast. My fiancé and I would like to have a small wedding ceremony with just a couple of people at the Church as my fiancé would like the Church’s blessing. Would we still have to go through all the procedures as a practicing couple in the lead up to the wedding day etc.

Sorry I sound like an idiot but I really need information on this.

Thank you for reading.
 
It would probably depend on your diocese’s requirements. Where my wife and I were married, pre-cana classes were required before the priest would officiate.

I am curious why, if neither of you are practicing, you feel it’s necessary to have the blessing? Perhaps this feeling of your fiance’s is part of a greater call to return to the practice of your faith. Rather than simply going through the motions, why not spend some time actually living the life of faith, together? It could only improve your relationship.
 
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In my diocese you would be required to complete pre-nuptial investigation (checking to see if you are free to marry such as in a situation of previous marriages), followed by a minimum of 6 months of Marriage preparation which includes foccus/prepare and enrich program with meeting sessions with the person in charge of Marriage preparation at the local parish. Then either an engaged encounter/Pre-Cana weekend or sponsor couple program. Then finally NFP training. Unless the bishop dispenses these requirements for circumstances like age (for the NFP) then a Marriage cannot go forward.

It is nice to see that you are interested in including the Church in your marriage. If both of you are baptized Catholics then you are actually required to be married “in” the Church for it to be canonically recognized.
 
I think it’s awesome that you want to be married in the Church, but you should check with your local pastor, as some of them won’t marry you unless at least one of you has been an active member of their parish for a while, or came with a letter of recommendation from another pastor. Before my wedding, I made sure I was very visible in my then-parish in terms of attending Mass there regularly, making my donation regularly, etc for about a year so when I called up the priest for the wedding prep there would be no question. And yes, most of them require several months’ notice even if the classes you need to take for pre-Cana do not run for that whole time.

I don’t say these things to discourage you, just to give you a heads up what you might encounter. I truly hope you will be married in the Church. God bless you both.
 
We haven’t attended Mass in a long time, my fiance does say the Rosary (I know it’s not much) but we feel that if we are going to get married we should do it properly. Plus if my Dad were alive he would insist on it lol.

It’s been on my mind the last wee while to try and get into going to Church again and embracing it all again. For me, I had a staunch Catholic Dad who bullied me to go to Church so the more he bullied the more I resisted it. I even went to a convent!

That aside, we are both baptised Catholics.

Tis_Bearself, the information you, and the other lovely people, have provided isn’t discouraging. I’d rather go into this knowing eveything that I will be required to do and keep doing after the wedding day! 🙂

I do need to ask one more thing though, what is NFP training?

~ Thank you xxxx
 
Yingal83 said:
We haven’t attended Mass in a long time, my fiance does say the Rosary (I know it’s not much) but we feel that if we are going to get married we should do it properly. Plus if my Dad were alive he would insist on it lol.

It’s been on my mind the last wee while to try and get into going to Church again and embracing it all again. For me, I had a staunch Catholic Dad who bullied me to go to Church so the more he bullied the more I resisted it. I even went to a convent!
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I’ve cited the figures on another thread,but basically your Catholic faith, and the sacrament of marriage will keep you and your spouse together for a very long time, if not for life.

It’s what many people believer and non-believer do not realize today. Your marriage is the love of 3 persons equally and eternally You , your spouse and God Both you and your spouse loving God is just as important as you loving each other for that reason.

God bless you, and wish you many happy years together, hopefully faith filled ones.
 
Yingal83 said:
I’m a non practicing Catholic from Belfast. My fiancé and I would like to have a small wedding ceremony with just a couple of people at the Church as my fiancé would like the Church’s blessing.
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I don’t understand why a non-practicing couple would want to ask the Church for a sacrament. Tradition? Culture? I would encourage such a couple to talk to their priest about what sacraments are and what they are asking for when they ask for the sacrament of marriage.
Yingal83 said:
Would we still have to go through all the procedures as a practicing couple in the lead up to the wedding day etc.
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Yes.

And moreover, you would be approaching the church for a sacrament, which implies you intend to live a sacramental life-- i.e. return to the practice of your faith. You make commitments when you marry-- commitments regarding children and raising them in the faith.

I encourage you to talk to your pastor. Learn what it means to be a Christian, practicing the faith and living a life of holiness.
Yingal83 said:
Sorry I sound like an idiot but I really need information on this.
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The place to start is your pastor at your local parish.
 
Hi Yinga183!

Congratulations on your engagement!

NFP stands for Natural Family Planning. Many diocese in the United States require couples to learn NFP as a prerequisite for marriage in case they ever need to space or avoid children, because Catholics understand contraception to be sinful. With NFP, the couple learns to observe fertility signs in the woman’s body and then can choose to abstain from the marital act during the woman’s fertile period if they need to avoid children that month. It’s healthy, safe, and very effective when used correctly even for women with irregular cycles.

God bless!
 
Yingal83 said:
I do need to ask one more thing though, what is NFP training?
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NFP stands for natural family planning.

The marriage preparation you will need to do varies from place to place-- different diocese conduct their premarital preparation differently. Some have meetings with the pastor, others have retreats with groups of couples, some have a class taught by married couples in the parish-- it’s all in an effort to educate couples about the Church’s teaching on marriage, family, and sexuality.

And to prepare them to receive the sacrament of marriage. Just like people are prepared before they receive other sacraments such as confirmation, communion, etc.

As to natural family planning, if you haven’t been practicing your faith you may be unaware of the Church’s teaching regarding contraception. Contraception is an offense against the sixth commandment. Couples can use natural family planning-- which observes the fertility signs of the body-- to space and plan children. There are different methods, and many dioceses teach an introduction to NFP as part of the marriage preparation classes.
 
Yingal83 said:
It’s been on my mind the last wee while to try and get into going to Church again and embracing it all again.
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That would be lovely, and you would be most welcome! Coming back to the faith as an adult is much different than having an overbearing parent shoving it down your throat.

I hope you are able to find your faith in God once again and live out that faith through the sacramental life of the Church. Talk to your local pastor, he will be able to help you.
 
1ke

My partner and I intend to embrace the faith well after our nuptials. I will go to my local Pastor but I thought I would ask for some advice before hand just to clue myself up a wee bit.

Call it information gathering. lol.
 
You don’t ‘sound like an idiot’,
you sound like your fiancee is very blessed to have such a good and accommodating fiance.

You and your fiance will be in my prayers.
 
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