Can a relationship between a Catholic and a Presbyterian work out?

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CMatt25 said:
Actually OP said she was baptized and so forth so sayng she is Catholic is not nonsense according to Church teaching.
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You misunderstand me.

What is nonsense is not that she calls herself a Catholic (since she is a Catholic) but that she considers herself Catholic because she is Italian and considers it a “cultural” thing. (her words)

That is not the basis of her Catholicism and she should not treat it lightly or only as a cultural aspect of her identity.

I told her she needs to go to Confession and get serious about her Cathoic faith.
 
1ke said:
You misunderstand me.

What is nonsense is not that she calls herself a Catholic (since she is a Catholic) but that she considers herself Catholic because she is Italian and considers it a “cultural” thing. (her words)

That is not the basis of her Catholicism and she should not treat it lightly or only as a cultural aspect of her identity.

I told her she needs to go to Confession and get serious about her Cathoic faith.
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Perhaps I did or I misunderstood her words. “I’m Italian and I was born and raised in the Roman Catholic faith. I’ve been baptized, had communion, confirmation, confession, all of the above… Roman Catholicism is an enormous part of my culture that I will not let go of.”

Catholicism can be a part of one’s culture. But I just happened to have also read the words inbetween “Italian” and “my culture” and assumed she wouldn’t consider herself a Catholic solely on the basis of her Italian culture if she hadn’t also been baptized, raised in the faith, confirmed, and so forth.

But I don’t know the OP so I could be wrong. Peace.
 
CMatt25 said:
Perhaps I did or I misunderstood her words. “I’m Italian and I was born and raised in the Roman Catholic faith. I’ve been baptized, had communion, confirmation, confession, all of the above… Roman Catholicism is an enormous part of my culture that I will not let go of.”

Catholicism can be a part of one’s culture. But I just happened to have also read the words inbetween “Italian” and “my culture” and assumed she wouldn’t consider herself a Catholic solely on the basis of her Italian culture if she hadn’t also been baptized, raised in the faith, confirmed, and so forth.

But I don’t know the OP so I could be wrong. Peace.
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I hear you, kinda puts a different spin on the definition doesn’t it.🙂
 
thesunsetglow said:
I’m Italian and I was born and raised in the Roman Catholic faith. I’ve been baptized, had communion, confirmation, confession, all of the above. In the past few years, I haven’t attended church too regularly simply because our church does not have a very strong young demographic and I feel its hard to feel a part of the church. Nevertheless, I still pray and read the bible… I believe very strongly in God.
My boyfriend of three years converted to Presbyterian from Roman Catholicism when he moved to Canada (the decision was made for him, he was young). He believes very strongly in his faith, participates in their ‘worship team’, attends church regularly. Very devout.
In our every day lives, this religious difference does not affect us. However, he has recently been pressuring me into converting to Presbyterian, which I am not about to do. Roman Catholicism is an enormous part of my culture that I will not let go of. I have never asked him to convert for me. He has now said that he will never marry me if I am Catholic, and is now saying that he needs to find a girl who is Korean AND Presbyterian so that he and his parents will be happy. In this fight he ragged on my ‘relationship with god’ and some of the exclusive beliefs of my faith, telling me that I am not yet ‘saved by god’.

I find if very hurtful and very unchristian that he is being so close minded, racist and discriminatory towards me and my beliefs. I would just like him to see what I am seeing. I love him with all my heart, and I know he loves me just as much. It seems so futile to let something like this come in between us. If I converted, I would lose a HUGE piece of myself, and would only gain resentment towards him, and I don’t want that.

Should I cut my losses? Or is there a way that I can help him understand? I love him so, so much.
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I remember the bishops saying that Catholics should not marry people from other faiths. It has shown that doesnt work and ends up in resentment and divorce.
 
Did they say mixed marriages shouldn’t be considered at all, or that they should be entered into only rarely and prayerfully?

Because otherwise, there are enough exceptions to the “never work out” thing to disprove that. My own parents were madly in love (embarrassingly so for us kids) for 62 years. My Mom is now 92 and yearning for the day death releases her from being apart from my Dad. My Mom is Jewish, my Dad was Catholic (later turned atheist). She isn’t entirely sure there is a heaven (her brand of Jewish upbringing didn’t really subscribe to heaven), but she says life without my father is not really worth living. She would never commit suicide, but she will welcome the embrace of death.

We have many mixed marriages in my family, though my parents were the first in recent family history. And among the many cousins since, only one divorce as far as any of us know. That was one cousin who married a gypsy with no last name (or one he wouldn’t reveal to us). Other than that - mixed marriages, permanent marriages, no divorce and children well raised, lovingly and without issues.

Many of the spouses have converted to their spouse’s faith - I have many red-headed and anglo looking Jewish cousins now, LOL. Seems the Jewish side of my family stood firm and gave such good example that a variety of non-practicing Catholic and Protestant spouses decide to switch. Likewise, my conversion to Catholicism from being born a Jew (the mixed marriage aside, my mother is Jewish, so I am too) has been accepted by all.

The scariest “mixed marriage” wedding I remember from my childhood wasn’t even truly mixed. My very devout Polish Catholic cousin married an Italian. Polish and Italian folks, open bar… we were all waiting for the WWIII. But it went off without a hitch. And even the Jewish side of the family had a fabulous time.
 
I would like to hope a relationship between a Catholic and Presbyterian can work out… since I am endeavoring to have my relationship work out. I am paying for my past cafeteria catholicism in the present, and praying that I can make things better, (the best!).

But it also seems there are other issues in the O.P.'s situation.

God Bless.
 
I can’t believe that people are missing the main point!

Who cares what religion either of them are -

A relationship can’t work if one can’t accept the other as they are!

Debating whether or not the religions are compatible is avoiding the elephant in the room. He can’t accept her as she is - a Catholic woman - therefore that’s the problem.

My boyfriend accepts me how I am, and my religion. If he couldn’t accept my religion, I wouldn’t be asking “Can a Buddhist and a Catholic have a good relationship?”, no, I would be asking “Can I have a relationship with someone who can’t accept me as I am?”
 
GaryTaylor said:
I hear you, kinda puts a different spin on the definition doesn’t it.🙂
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🤷 I don’t know Gary about a different spin. My definition has always been the same as the Church’s definition. Baptized a Catholic, then a Catholic. 👍 Which the OP is. Peace to her and to you and all.
 
For similar reasons I chose to leave my boyfriend of 2 years and vowed to only seriously date Catholics from that point on. I knew that marriage was hard, and I didn’t want to go to church by myself, not be accepted by his family because of my faith and argue about where the children should go to church. The next man I went out on a date with was Catholic and I married him 27 years ago!

You sound like your Catholic faith is important to you, yet you aren’t living it! Perhaps it’s time for a good long look in the mirror and some heart to hearts with Jesus about it. Ask Him to help you make this decision.

Peace.
 
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