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savienu
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My stepdaughter has her father’s last name. He and her mother were never married.
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Phemie
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My friend escaped an abusive relationship after having just found out she was pregnant and after he held a knife to her throat. She didn’t list him on the birth registration, no one but her immediate family knows who he is, he doesn’t know he has a daughter and she has no intention of ever telling him. She says she will explain the situation to her daughter when she gets a lot older and will leave it up to her whether or not she initiates contact. For now, “daddy” and variations of the word are not spoken in that household.
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puzzleannie
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the point is that this is a civil law issue, and at least in the US, the baptismal certificate will have the name as it appears on the birth certificate, and the parents’ names. there are some countries where the priest who baptizes also makes an entry into the civil record, but not here. I think OP’s question is really “can the child be baptized if the parents are not married” and the answer is, yes she can, if the parents give assurance that the child will be raised Catholic. Speculation on what this or that civil authority has the right to do is off topic here. OP simply has to find out what the law is in her state and proceed accordingly, but there is no religious reason that comes into play.
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Rob_s_Wife
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**I disagree. right to know genetic identity? human.
**no they do not have any right beyond that
to suggest it’s cruel or selfish is nonsense
good grief even having a name on the thing doesn’t mean the kid is going to know anything more about their “genetic identity” than that they are indeed human
Not once have I shown a birth cert to get the baptismal cert.
**in fact, I have all my children’s baptismal certificates, but only 1 birth certificate. one has nothing to do with the other here and never has. it’s my understanding that this is the case everywhere.
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jmcrae
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What about the medical history of the family? Does the child have the right to know if he has a predisposition to some disease or other? If he is born to married parents, he gets screened for these things at every check-up, and he gets the care he needs early on, if he has indeed inherited the family disease, but if he doesn’t know who his father is, he is missing some important information, don’t you think?**I disagree. right to know genetic identity? human.
no they do not have any right beyond that
to suggest it’s cruel or selfish is nonsense
good grief even having a name on the thing doesn’t mean the kid is going to know anything more about their “genetic identity” than that they are indeed human
I don’t think that such knowledge, no matter how useful, is an innate human right. It might be a right according to some legal jurisdictions, but that’s a separate matter.What about the medical history of the family? Does the child have the right to know if he has a predisposition to some disease or other? If he is born to married parents, he gets screened for these things at every check-up, and he gets the care he needs early on, if he has indeed inherited the family disease, but if he doesn’t know who his father is, he is missing some important information, don’t you think?
Having married parents is no guarantee that the father is actually the father, for one thing. And any more it’s no guarantee about the mother either. And in the case of adopted children, providing such information may be a violation of the rights of the sperm and/or egg donors.
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Rob_s_Wife
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Nope. for that matter knowing the parents does not mean they know their parents medical history anyhow. I know mine. born and raised by them and don’t have a clue. Their body and what they did with it is none of my business.What about the medical history of the family? Does the child have the right to know if he has a predisposition to some disease or other? If he is born to married parents, he gets screened for these things at every check-up, and he gets the care he needs early on, if he has indeed inherited the family disease, but if he doesn’t know who his father is, he is missing some important information, don’t you think?
I don’t know any kid that gets screened at every check up like you describe. 8 kids and it’s never happened or even been given as an option.
Unless the child themselves presents with symptoms of a problem, they rarely do full screenings as you describe. For that matter, they rarely do full screenings unless there is a severe or major chance of a problem, which is often obvious due to the child presenting with major health problems. The screening is to varify what those health problems might be due to if the usual avenue doesn’t net a clear answer.
**For that matter if an adult is that concerned about their genetic tendencies, they can pay to have their own genetic screening done, they don’t need their bio parent info to do it.
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puzzleannie
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in this diocese the birth certificate is required so that names of parents and children will be spelled correctly on the baptismal, however, we are instructed not to request documents for those who don’t have them, in which case we rely on the application form the parents complete for spelling. Just today we processed an application in which the family name, baby’s name, and mother’s name are all mis-spelled. w/o the bc we would be lost.
while we are on the topic, since the question comes up so frequently, most US states and govt agencies will NOT accept baptismal cert. as ID, and that is true in many foreign countries, it depends on whether or not church records are also civil records.
I don’t understand raising the issue of DNA screening and the child’s medical history, in OP’s case the couple are getting married, the father is not an anonymous donor.
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chevalier
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**I disagree. right to know genetic identity? human.
no they do not have any right beyond that
to suggest it’s cruel or selfish is nonsense
good grief even having a name on the thing doesn’t mean the kid is going to know anything more about their “genetic identity” than that they are indeed human
It’s largely the same argument that we use against homosexual unions and against concubinage. A child has the right to a full family. In most cases, a father whom a mother would not like to list has probably merited this by being abusive and dangerous. However, say, there’s an affair and there’s regret… or say, there’s a bitter break-up and the woman judges the man to be underserving or she wants to punish him, whatever. In such circumstances, the right to privacy would generally be a facade for revenge. A woman has no more right to hide the father’s identity (if she knows it) than a man to have sex without caring if a woman becomes pregnant or a child is born. The father has every right to know, as well as to make decisions about the child and this right is not contingent on the mother’s decision. Morally, this is trumped by danger to the child or perhaps the stigma of incest or rape.
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blossom02
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Wow I’m sure glad that they will marry as soon as they can. With all of this talk of knowing genetics and medical stuff, my Grandchild will know all of His/her entire family.
Thanks for your help.
I now think that I was a bit shallow in questioning if the child could have my sons name. The most important thing is that the child will be loved by both its mother and father whether they are married before the baby is born or after they are married(although it would have been better timing after the marriage and less sinful).
Thanks for your help.
I now think that I was a bit shallow in questioning if the child could have my sons name. The most important thing is that the child will be loved by both its mother and father whether they are married before the baby is born or after they are married(although it would have been better timing after the marriage and less sinful).
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Rob_s_Wife
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It’s largely the same argument that we use against homosexual unions and against concubinage. A child has the right to a full family.
No. It is ideal and morally best for a child to have a full family. (no argument from me on that!) Not a right. Otherwise, we’d be taking all children of single mother’s away and placing them in full families because that would be the right of the child.
aside from that, that’s not what you originally stated. You were claiming they had “rights” to genetic or medical information. And no they do not. Even knowing the parents does not give them that right. For example, they could know the father, but the father has zero legal obligation to give any genetic or medical information to them.
In most cases, a father whom a mother would not like to list has probably merited this by being abusive and dangerous. However, say, there’s an affair and there’s regret… or say, there’s a bitter break-up and the woman judges the man to be underserving or she wants to punish him, whatever. In such circumstances, the right to privacy would generally be a facade for revenge. A woman has no more right to hide the father’s identity (if she knows it) than a man to have sex without caring if a woman becomes pregnant or a child is born.
A mother has the right to determine what is best for herself and her child and to her privacy. To presume revenge or incest or anything else is pure speculation. Not very charitible speculation at that.
The father has every right to know, as well as to make decisions about the child and this right is not contingent on the mother’s decision.
No the father does not have that right. Not in a a single state does he have that right unless the mother gives it to him or the court gives it to him.
Sadly, the mother does get the last say most of the time.
Most of the time, I hope and do think mothers would prefer the guy be on the cert and in the child’s life.
But we can’t presume to make that choice for her.
**And this is the risk every man takes if he has sex with a woman he’s not married to. He has no legal or moral bond with her to make any rightful claims on her person or the results of their relations.
**Don’t get me wrong.
Really I’m very pro paternal rights.
But that doesn’t mean they should always get those rights.
The mother of the child has the greatest knowledge of the man and the greatest risk of continuing a relationship with him.
So yes, it does make complete sense to me that a mother might morally say that a man is not going to continue to be a part of her or a child’s life.
Fair? Debatable.
Such is one of the many problems socially and ethicly that premarital sex causes.
**It can be very hard to make moral decisions out of an act that was immoral to begin with.
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adelore
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Many years ago My sister was pregnant before she got married. The wedding date (Catholic Wedding) was moved up a few months. A Catholic Priest did in fact marry them. I wish I could give you more details about it, but I don’t know them all, as I was only 10 at the time.
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Naomi
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When I had my baby the hospital gave me a list of ‘name rules’ I remember a few . If your married and you know your husband isn’t the father you must give the baby your husbands name . If you divorced during the preganancy you must give the baby your ex-husbands name . If you married and don’t know who the father is you must give the baby your husbands name. It made me feel sorry for the men . I know N.C. is different . The mom can give her baby any name she wants . I’m sure every state is different.
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