Can Catholics think for themselves?

[stonefield]

Previously I “Asked an Apologist” on this forum if a Catholic could marry an atheist in a Catholic church. I recieved a very helpful answer for which I am very grateful.

I now have to admit I am the atheist in question. I didn’t like to say so before as I wasn’t sure posts from atheists were permitted. If they aren’t then of course this won’t get posted!

Now I have to admit I’m an atheist because I have a follow up question. I am very pleased to be allowed to marry my Catholic fiancee in a Catholic church. As I understand it, I must agree that our children are brought up according to Catholic beliefs. I am happy if my future wife brings up any children we have as Catholics, as long as they are also allowed to think for themselves. I haven’t seen any contradiction here.

However, a fellow atheist has argued with me (who’s also married to a Catholic) that Catholics “aren’t allowed to to think 100% for themselves but have to do what the Vatican tells them to do.”

I don’t think that any of us think 100% for ourselves anyway, but as an atheist I do think we should try to do so. What is the official Catholic position on this? If I agree that my child is to be raised as a Catholic, what exactly am I agreeing to?

Surely I would not be expected to lie to my children about my beliefs.

In the answer to my previous question it was mentioned that the Catholic Church discourages Catholics marrying atheists and that this was because it makes the bringing of children up within the Catholic faith difficult.

Although I understand the general concern, what do you think the specific problems could be? Given that I must surely not lie to my children about being an atheist, do you still think it is still possible that my children can be bought up as Catholics? Would I have to accept they cannot think for themselves? Would a happy marriage with happy Catholic children still be possible even though it will be difficult?

Incidently, in my day-to-day experience, it seems to me that Catholics do indeed think for themselves. The fact that my fiancee can do so is one of the reasons I love her and believe she will be a wonderful mother.

 

[Michelle_Arnold]

I now have to admit I am the atheist in question. I didn’t like to say so before as I wasn’t sure posts from atheists were permitted. If they aren’t then of course this won’t get posted!

CAF welcomes the participation of Catholics and non-Catholics alike, so long as they behave charitably toward each other and refer to Catholicism in a polite manner (although they may refer to disagreements they have with the Church).

stonefield:

Now I have to admit I’m an atheist because I have a follow up question. I am very pleased to be allowed to marry my Catholic fiancee in a Catholic church. As I understand it, I must agree that our children are brought up according to Catholic beliefs. I am happy if my future wife brings up any children we have as Catholics, as long as they are also allowed to think for themselves. I haven’t seen any contradiction here.

You don’t have to sign an agreement that your children be brought up Catholic, but you must be informed of your wife’s obligation to do all that she can to raise the children Catholic and she must sign an agreement promising to do so. It would be in keeping with such expectations for you to promise your fiancee privately that you will do all that you can do in conscience to support her in raising the children Catholic.

stonefield:

However, a fellow atheist has argued with me (who’s also married to a Catholic) that Catholics “aren’t allowed to to think 100% for themselves but have to do what the Vatican tells them to do.”

I don’t think that any of us think 100% for ourselves anyway, but as an atheist I do think we should try to do so. What is the official Catholic position on this? If I agree that my child is to be raised as a Catholic, what exactly am I agreeing to?

Surely I would not be expected to lie to my children about my beliefs.

No, you are not expected to lie to your children about your beliefs. In fact, to do so would violate your conscience and the Church respects the fact that you must follow your conscience.

There is, however, a difference between lying and mental reservation. If you can in conscience avoid telling your children that you do not believe in God, that would be a means by which you could support your wife in raising the children Catholic. She will already have a difficult enough time of it because she will be the sole teacher of the Catholic faith in your family and because children whose fathers don’t practice a religion usually end up without religion themselves despite a mother’s best efforts – which is one of the reasons why the Church strongly discourages marriage between Catholics and atheists. Anything you can do to offer positive support of your wife’s efforts can mitigate against the possibility of the children losing their religious faith.

As to the question of whether Catholics can think for themselves, I think you answered your own question. But to put it more clearly, think of the Church like a family. God is our Father, the Church is our Mother, Catholics are the spiritual children in the faith. Just as truly loving parents accept and encourage their children to think for themselves and to mature in their faith, those parents must sometimes place limitations on what their children are allowed to do. It is not because the parents want to stifle free thought but because the parents have an obligation to protect their children from danger and to raise them to be responsible citizens. In a like manner, God and the Church have no desire to stifle the free thought of Catholics but place limitations on those behaviors that cause harm and by doing so help Christians to mature into saints.