Can I attend this wedding?

[MyJesusMercy]

Greetings,
My brother is currently engaged to a divorced lady. They both not only want me to attend their wedding. But be the bestman at the ceremony. They are getting married by a justice of the peace. Now I asked my Parish Priest if I could attend the ceremony without giving scandal he replied yes out of love for my brother. And that I couldn't be the bestman. Now I thought church teaching was we couldn't attend a Marriage between two Catholics outside of the church? :confused: If anyone can give me some sound advice on this matter I greatly appreciate it.

 

[Br.Rich_SFO]

MyJesusMercy:

Greetings,

My brother is currently engaged to a divorced lady. They both not only want me to attend their wedding. But be the bestman at the ceremony. They are getting married by a justice of the peace. Now I asked my Parish Priest if I could attend the ceremony without giving scandal he replied yes out of love for my brother. And that I couldn’t be the bestman. Now I thought church teaching was we couldn’t attend a Marriage between two Catholics outside of the church? If anyone can give me some sound advice on this matter I greatly appreciate it.

Sometimes family relationships are very difficult to deal with. Have you spoken to your brother about the situation? What is his attitude towards the Catholic faith and in fact that his marriage would be invalid? Does he realize that this action is against a SACRAMENT? I personally would have difficulty attending a ceremony that mocks a Sacrament. Maybe you could skip the ceremony and attend only the reception. I would suggest as a personal opinon to avoid being Bestman.

 

[Michael_Welter]

My sister was raised in the Church, like me, but married and divorced several times. When she got married the last time, they went to Las Vegas. Because our father has passed away, she asked me to give her away. Not only did I not give her away, I didn’t even attend. Her first marriage was in the Church, and was never annuled, so her current marriage is adultery.

It’s very hard to take a stance like that, but I can’t condone such blatant disregard for a sacrament. I love her dearly, and we get along great. In the long run, it didn’t damage our relationship. I would think twice about attending, and therefore condoning, a civil ceremony like that.

 

[bear06]

Fr. Serpa of CA said no to a similar situation but I’d say more information is needed like does your brother profess to be Catholic or has he renounced his Faith? Was the bride’s first marriage valid in the eyes of the Church (remember, the Church does see recognize marriages of Protestants in most circumstances)?

 

[CARose]

I also did not attend my brothers civil wedding to a young lady I really like and would be happy to welcome to the family in a Catholic ceremony. I’m the only one in the family that’s still practicing the Faith, but his fiance purports to be a practicing Catholic. Since he was born and raised Catholic and has never formally renounced the faith he’s cannonically bound to marry in the Church, as is she.

I didn’t even know many of the rules when I first heard that they were going to have a non-Catholic wedding, but I immediately knew in my gut that this was something I could not attend. Not because I didn’t want to be there (I wanted to go more than I can say) but because it would be pretending that I was happy for what is actually a very sad thing. This wonderful couple, who deserve so much more, have made a public vow to live together without the advantage of the Sacramental Grace of Marriage, a very sad thing indeed.

CARose