Can I be made a confimation sponsor against my will?

[HERstory]

My younger sister is about to receive her confirmation soon. And when she was asked who her sponsor would be, she didn’t know who to say, so she just decided to make me her sponsor without my knowledge. When my sister told me this, I couldn’t help but feel anger towards my sister for not talking to me about this. Sponsorship is a responsibility I am not ready to receive. And when I told her this, she was telling me how it is not a big deal. Then my father gets in the argument saying I should be honored to be her sponsor.

How I am supposed to be honored when you are just slapping the title onto me without any previous discourse about it? To be a sponsor is to be someone’s spiritual guide and I don’t think I have enough experience to do that. Anything I say, my parents say that she’s my sister and I have to do it or it would be like I’m betraying the family. I’m just not ready to be someone’s sponsor. Should I just shut up and just do it? Or should I do something about it?

 

[Michelle_Arnold]

While I appreciate the fact that you are angry at not being consulted first, and I do not agree with your parents refusing to take seriously your concerns, I think part of the problem may be that they are seeing only your anger at not being consulted and may consider that to be inappropriate. I think you need to talk to your parents privately and explain that you understand that your sister was put on the spot and didn’t know what to do, but that you do not believe yourself qualified to be a confirmation sponsor and that is why you have declined to do it. Ask them for help in finding someone else who can serve as a confirmation sponsor for your sister (e.g., godparent, family friend, Catholic teacher).

If your parents continue to pooh-pooh your concerns, you’ll have a decision to make. You can go ahead and be the sponsor, knowing that confirmation sponsors don’t, as a practical matter, really do much spiritual “mentoring”; or you can take your concern to your parish pastor and ask for his help in dealing with your parents and your sister. (In any case, it might be a good idea to let him know that confirmands are not being given sufficient guidance by the parish’s religious education teachers in the protocol of selecting a confirmation sponsor.)