Can I convert without telling my parents?

[babydust292]

I wanted to know if it is okay to convert and not tell my parents. I was born and raised a Reform Jew. I told my parents about the possibility of converting and they were very upset, said their heart was broken and were very angry. I called them later that night and said I wasn’t converting. But I still want to, and to raise my kids Catholic and just not tell them. I think this is the best thing for me and my family.

 

[Michelle_Arnold]

When Jews convert to Catholicism, many do choose to do so without telling their families. If informing family of a conversion would cause serious hardship for either the convert or his family, he could choose not to announce his conversion. In your case though, there are some additional factors that should be considered.

• You already told your parents you were converting, then chose to retract it. While someone who has never announced a conversion does not have a duty to announce it if there is just reason not to, he cannot actually deny being a Christian if asked. You have inadvertently created a situation in which your parents may choose to ask you at some point about your Christian convictions, perhaps to “make sure” that you’re no longer still considering conversion. Since you cannot deny being a Christian, and your parents are now “on alert” to the possibility of your becoming a Christian, it might be better to be up front with them about your conversion.
• I don’t know if you have children now, or are simply hypothesizing about how you would like to raise a family should you have one, but if you have kids and want to raise them Catholic then it is difficult to expect them to remain silent about their Catholicism to their grandparents. Is it realistic to suppose that you could be a practicing Catholic raising Catholic children and your parents not find out (especially with the “heads up” you have already given)?

The decision is one only you can make, but given your unique circumstances, it may be that you will have to tell your parents of your conversion and resign yourself to live with their sorrow and upset.