R
RCIA_Candidate
Guest
I am in RCIA waiting to be received into the church this Easter vigil. I made my first confession this week along with the rest of the RCIA candidates at the penance service for the parish. The service ended with individual confession, and mine did not go well. I clearly stated it was my first confession and that I was in RCIA. There was no guidance, no questions–and I floundered a bit. Scared to death, I was still determined to get everything in. Towards the end I said I had a few things that might not be sins but were weighing on my conscience–mostly failure to act in ambiguous situations. Halfway through the second item on this list, the priest cut me off and asked if I could just “sum up.” I was startled at this and became even more nervous. Unsure of what was important, I didn’t want to leave anything out, and so I said I had just three more things and he allowed me to continue. However, I don’t believe I ever completed the one in which I was interrupted. I also realized I had more left than I realized, but not wanting to annoy the priest (and maybe wanting the easy way out he seemed to be offering) I just kept it at the three and added, “and other things like that.”
It may be that the things I was confessing were not sins, but on the other hand, perhaps he was just trying to put me out of my misery as my nerves were getting the best of me. But I wonder about the validity of the confession since I did decide not to push on to the end of my list after he asked me to basically wrap it up. I don’t want to receive the Eucharist unworthily, but the RCIA program will not be offering another opportunity for confession before the Easter vigil, and I doubt I could do any better the second time. Inasmuch as they’re not particularly embarrassing, the items I left off are included at the end.
I think the adults in RCIA who had to cover 20-40 years should have had a separate time for confession, but we were put in line with everyone else to emphasize the social aspect of the sacrament, and I wonder if the time factor created the problem. Anyway, I truly don’t believe that I was taking an unreasonable amount of time considering it was my first confession.
What should I do? My intention was to make a good, complete confession, and I never had any thoughts of cutting it short had the priest not directed me to do so. Should I just keep in mind the few things that got cut off and confess them next time along with the things I honestly forgot? Or are these just matters of poor judgment rather than sins–things that should not have been confessed in the first place. I left the confessional wondering if I’d said too much or too little. I need to know before Easter vigil. Thanks in advance. The items that didn’t “make the cut” are as follows:
The one I partly explained was a situation in which I couldn’t reach my father on the phone for several days and made no further attempt to check up on him, despite my concern. He seemed to resent my previous inquires in a similar situation and we had only recently been reconciled after ten years. Mostly I was afraid because I wouldn’t have known what to do if something had been wrong, since he detested all forms of medical intervention. In fact, it turned out he was in the end stages of cancer and a neighbor found him nearly unconscious–to confirm the diagnosis I ended up giving permission for many basic tests and procedures he would not have wanted, because I felt that was in keeping with a basic duty to preserve life. I was about half way through the story when the priest asked me to “sum up.”
The second was a more recent failure to investigate a suspicious sound. My mother who lives downstairs had fallen (no injuries) and tried to conceal it. When I heard the thump I should have checked to see if she was all right, but I didn’t want to get out of the tub, get dressed, and needlessly waste a tub of hot water just to find it was my own paranoia. But ultimately I think it was selfish–I didn’t want to be disturbed.
The third was another failure to act. I inadvertently overheard a private conversation in which someone discussed what sounded like an embarrassing medical problem of a relative–it could have been an STD or it could have been a planned abortion. In any case, I prayed but did nothing else. On reflection I don’t think this was sinful because I had insufficient information.
It may be that the things I was confessing were not sins, but on the other hand, perhaps he was just trying to put me out of my misery as my nerves were getting the best of me. But I wonder about the validity of the confession since I did decide not to push on to the end of my list after he asked me to basically wrap it up. I don’t want to receive the Eucharist unworthily, but the RCIA program will not be offering another opportunity for confession before the Easter vigil, and I doubt I could do any better the second time. Inasmuch as they’re not particularly embarrassing, the items I left off are included at the end.
I think the adults in RCIA who had to cover 20-40 years should have had a separate time for confession, but we were put in line with everyone else to emphasize the social aspect of the sacrament, and I wonder if the time factor created the problem. Anyway, I truly don’t believe that I was taking an unreasonable amount of time considering it was my first confession.
What should I do? My intention was to make a good, complete confession, and I never had any thoughts of cutting it short had the priest not directed me to do so. Should I just keep in mind the few things that got cut off and confess them next time along with the things I honestly forgot? Or are these just matters of poor judgment rather than sins–things that should not have been confessed in the first place. I left the confessional wondering if I’d said too much or too little. I need to know before Easter vigil. Thanks in advance. The items that didn’t “make the cut” are as follows:
The one I partly explained was a situation in which I couldn’t reach my father on the phone for several days and made no further attempt to check up on him, despite my concern. He seemed to resent my previous inquires in a similar situation and we had only recently been reconciled after ten years. Mostly I was afraid because I wouldn’t have known what to do if something had been wrong, since he detested all forms of medical intervention. In fact, it turned out he was in the end stages of cancer and a neighbor found him nearly unconscious–to confirm the diagnosis I ended up giving permission for many basic tests and procedures he would not have wanted, because I felt that was in keeping with a basic duty to preserve life. I was about half way through the story when the priest asked me to “sum up.”
The second was a more recent failure to investigate a suspicious sound. My mother who lives downstairs had fallen (no injuries) and tried to conceal it. When I heard the thump I should have checked to see if she was all right, but I didn’t want to get out of the tub, get dressed, and needlessly waste a tub of hot water just to find it was my own paranoia. But ultimately I think it was selfish–I didn’t want to be disturbed.
The third was another failure to act. I inadvertently overheard a private conversation in which someone discussed what sounded like an embarrassing medical problem of a relative–it could have been an STD or it could have been a planned abortion. In any case, I prayed but did nothing else. On reflection I don’t think this was sinful because I had insufficient information.
