Can someone give me an outside opinion on my vocation?

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MattBalkus

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So, I just want to see what you guys think about what my discernment is looking like right now. Firstly, I have a strong attraction to priestly life and could see myself living a life of ministry joyously. I might even say I sometimes have a desire for priesthood, but sometimes I have a desire for married life, as well. Both of these desires come and go, so I’m not really sure which one to trust more. I’m an active altar server and it’s probably one of my favorite things to do in my life. I work with peer ministry and find it rewarding. I receive the sacraments commonly and find strength in doing so. However, I still suffer from lustful tendencies, which I do not think is uncommon for your average teenage boy. My prayer life could always have improvement but I’d say it’s pretty good right now, I also find strength and consolation from it. But, I’d say that I don’t receive consolation from hearing the Lord or anything of that sort, but I just receive a sense of peace when I end my prayers. Could someone look into these details and give me their opinion? I know my vocation is something that I, myself, need to discover with God alone, but I’d like some outside opinions.

Thanks,
Matt
 
Peace is a much better indicator than consolations. I suggest finding a holy priest that can guide you as a spiritual director.
 
When I was young and for many years I had an inkling to become a monk. The pull of the world was strong and as you say lustful tendencies are an issue. I lived a worldly life and satisfied that part of my desire but recently I enquired about becoming a monk now that I could live that life, and I was told I was too old. Never mind. We can serve God anywhere we find ourselves.

We need good, strong pious men of integrity in the Church and I hope you make the right decisions.
God bless.

Yes, have a chat with your priest.
 
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Well, I’m a woman so I never had to discern about becoming a priest 😉 But, I did do quite a bit of discernment, including visiting several religious orders, about whether I would become a religious. I though about it a lot. I was attracted to it and I still think, had I done it, that I would have been “happy”. In the end, I felt that I was being called to be a wife and mother and I am happy with that decision too and think it was the “better” choice.

I agree with @JHFamily that peace is a strong indicator of vocation. Although I was attracted to the religious life, I was not particularly “at peace” with it. I was also attracted to being a wife and mother and, when I pursued those goals, I felt a stronger and stronger sense of peace and leads me to believe I am fulfilling my vocation (in a very imperfect way 😉 )

Polling the opinions of people on a forum is certainly a way to get some information, but I would think multiple discussions with a priest whom you know and trust would be more beneficial. Also, you have some time if you are a teen-ager. Maybe try some chaste dating and see if that more intimate type of companionship makes you feel a click or find that sense of greater peace.

Best of luck to you!
 
I would say to factor something in. If you can be a deacon, but have to be married FIRST, before entering the program to become a deacon, how would that race go?

That’s the situation that I’m in right now. I want to go deacon, but I also want to be married, and I’m not sure if there are any marriage candidates before I reach that.

Still, my local deaconate program has 3 years to go for new candidates to start (class going on already). I’m feeling like I might meet that special someone in that 3 years and if I don’t, I think that might be my avenue.
 
That’s odd. The UK is usually a Haven for delayed vocations. Please be sure to speak with your diocesan vocations director. Do you have a spiritual director?
 
No I don’t. I nearly did but my priest instructed me not to see the particular person I was arranging to see in that regard. He suggested we could do it on a more casual basis. I have been trying that but he Is so busy it’s not a regular thing.

Getting in touch with other various people of the Church in my area has proven to be a non trivial problem so to speak.
 
You need an established spiritual director for this process. Such helps with attaining goals. I don’t know why that particular priest would tell you not to get one, or to do this “casually”. But, please do let the diocesan vocations director know of your interest. In the past couple of years, the UK had a discernment event just for older vocations. You’re not alone. I believe that event may have happened because the vocations directors communicated.
 
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The CTS have quite a few booklets on vocations if you want to browse without committing to anything just yet, as there are a few options for you if you wish, even later in life. Your local parish should have a few lurking, usually in a wall hanging otherwise here’s the website (or the shop is at Westminster if you are near London it’s worth a visit). This might just point you in the right direction for a start in looking for info… then you can take it from there. I am a girl and older too so my path was different but with similar limitations but I found it easier to get help once I knew which order I was called to etc… God bless How to Discover your Vocation | Catholic Truth Society
 
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Well the others are right peace is very important.
I have only one thing to add and that is that priests that I have heard speak or read about have often said that they felt this pull too both (marriage and priesthood) and that this is not uncommon as they are both a fatherhood of sorts. So dont think of them as opposites as such or two different things, but as the same coin, perhaps you are seeing both sides of the coin while waiting for it to stop spinning. It sounds to me as if it is time for patience now as the process comes about in you as you discern God’s will.
As for lustful tendencies , keep fighting them. You will have them to battel whether you are married or a priest so you will need to learn to tame them. If you are married you must learn to be chaste and act moderately in marriage so these will and should never be allowed to reign free anyway and if you are a priest they are to be curtailed completely. It can be debated which is easier. Odd as it may sound, it is often debated amongst theologians that it is easier in the long run to curtail them completely than to be moderate and learn chaste behaviour especially if you struggle with lustful behaviour in the first place. You are right they aren’t uncommon in any teen and should be able to be tamed. God bless you.
 
MattBalkus said:
So, I just want to see what you guys think about what my discernment is looking like right now. Firstly, I have a strong attraction to priestly life and could see myself living a life of ministry joyously. I might even say I sometimes have a desire for priesthood, but sometimes I have a desire for married life, as well. Both of these desires come and go, so I’m not really sure which one to trust more. I’m an active altar server and it’s probably one of my favorite things to do in my life. I work with peer ministry and find it rewarding. I receive the sacraments commonly and find strength in doing so. However, I still suffer from lustful tendencies, which I do not think is uncommon for your average teenage boy. My prayer life could always have improvement but I’d say it’s pretty good right now, I also find strength and consolation from it. But, I’d say that I don’t receive consolation from hearing the Lord or anything of that sort, but I just receive a sense of peace when I end my prayers. Could someone look into these details and give me their opinion? I know my vocation is something that I, myself, need to discover with God alone, but I’d like some outside opinions.
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You don’t necessarily have to choose between the two. Being a pastor and being married are not mutually exclusive vocations according to God’s word.
 
That is very kind of you @(name removed by moderator) Im touched and grateful for your concern and prayers.

Thank you also @Bluebright and @Cloisters, very humbling actually.

God bless you.
 
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If you want to be a priesr I think you have to ask yourself how open are you with interacting with people, listening to them, havibg patience and a desire to correct them.
Lustful tendencies may be temptations. Even monks have them. Some say they intensify as you get deeper in spirituality.
If you diiscern you want to become a monk expect opposition fron your family. Even religious families are not very happy with this option.
 
MattBalkus said:
I have a strong attraction to priestly life and could see myself living a life of ministry joyously. I might even say I sometimes have a desire for priesthood
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This is excellent to hear; not surprising since you are a young man who is active in his church and maintains a prayer life.
MattBalkus said:
I have a desire for married life
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God has instilled in us all a natural call to marriage. This is healthy and will never go away regardless of the vocation you end up discerning. Do not think of discernment as marriage vs. priesthood; rather, reflect upon whether God may be giving you graces to live a life of celibacy and service for His Church. God has called some men to serve Him as priests and, through the sacrament of ordination, has given them supernatural graces needed to live a life of radical simplicity and celibacy.
MattBalkus said:
I still suffer from lustful tendencies, which I do not think is uncommon for your average teenage boy.
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You are correct; this is common for young men. Healthy feelings of heterosexual attraction are normal and will never go away. “Lustful tendencies” will always be a temptation; however, as you grow in your spiritual maturity, you will develop tools to combat these feelings.
MattBalkus said:
I’d say that I don’t receive consolation from hearing the Lord or anything of that sort, but I just receive a sense of peace when I end my prayers.
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The only way you will be able to discern where God is calling you is to spend time in front of Him in the Blessed Sacrament by participating in Mass and Eucharistic adoration. You will begin to see where God’s Grace is leading you through Mass, adoration, and daily prayer and contemplation.
MattBalkus said:
Could someone look into these details and give me their opinion? I know my vocation is something that I, myself, need to discover with God alone, but I’d like some outside opinions.
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I would recommend that you order a copy of To Save a Thousand Souls This is an amazing book of (particularly diocesan) priesthood and will offer you some great advice. Join a young adult group and socialize with individuals your age where you can meet others your age to help you on your spiritual journey. Continue to pray and seek the Lord God where He is calling you.

God bless.
 
Sadly true, but that’s by choice, not by commandment.
 
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